I know I said I wasn't going to share press pieces for CRIP UP THE KITCHEN as frequently. That said, I've been waiting for this DEEP DIVE for a few weeks now and it really gets into the meat (no pun intended) of the whys this book exists

#DisabilityJustice #DisabilityInclusion #Neurodivergent #Bookstodon #Disabled #ActuallyAutistic

Post now free to public.

Check out the cover to the last Radicci Sisters!

Will have pre order links up when all stores and libraries list it.

#scifi #darkfantasy #kickasswomen #actuallyautistic #bookstodon

M.E. Purfield- Author? 🤔 🤷
1 hour ago

All my life I have been ignored or disregarded when it comes to my voice.

I’m easily forgotten by friends and family.

People also have a hard time understanding me, I sometimes pick the wrong words or use echolalia.

The few times people hear me, they get mad, frustrated, or violent. I used to get my head bashed with fists a lot as a kid 🤷

Until I met my wife, I had no relief from this strangeness. A strangeness that still goes on.

I guess that’s why I write; to be heard.
It’s probably a bad reason to get into the arts. It’s not cool or trendy or something to flash on social media but here I am.

Here it is 🤷

#actuallyautistic #writing

Jens Finkhäuser 🌻
2 hours ago

I'm angry at myself, really. I can't figure shit out.

Like, I know I've got a relatively easy time larping a normie, so proudly embracing being #ActuallyAutistic feels fraudulent even if the community basically tells me it's fine. Four and a half decades of damage in the picture of that inner conflict.

I'm also larping a cishet dude with so much ease it's not always clear to me which flavour(s) of queer to call myself, so I usually say nothing.

Most of the time I'm just made...

2 hours ago
A watercolor comic strip of two realistically painted birds, a male and female house finch or purple finch, perched in a spruce tree and conversing.

Frame 1: 
Female: six seven eight

Frame 2:
nine ten eleven ...
Male: OH. WHY?

Frame 3:
Female: twelve thirteen

Frame 4:
[male bird looking off into the sky as the female continues to focus on the tree]

Frame 5:
A section of the same tree, full-branched and covered in needles

Frame 6:
2 hours ago

I like to eat snack mixes (like Gardetto's or Chex mix or even jelly beans) in ascending order of how much I like each thing/ingredient. I start with the pretzels, then the breadsticks, and then finally the rye chips

sometimes for variety I'll eat a little bit of the next-highest category before I've eaten all of the previous category

it occurred to me today that this is probably an #ActuallyAutistic thing

Verđandi K Soldusty
2 hours ago

No spoons or low spoons over the last few days. Have been busy with stuff that needed doing in the physical world with much time loss before even getting started with my day. I would love the time loss to just frell off and leave me to get through stuff and still have time after to unwind instead of finishing thew last task about the time I wanted to be in bed.
But I can't go straight to bed as I need my wind-down time.

Right now being autistic sucks, this entire year is just some kind of burnout.

#Autism #ActuallyAutistic #Autistic

4 hours ago

I love having had the realisation that I have surrounded myself with autistic friends without even meaning to. Birds of a feather #actuallyautistic

5 hours ago

Hello! Thanks to everyone's support I've managed to completely clear a $2000 debt I had! This is incredible and I'm so thankful! Help me continue to pay off debt and get ready to move out this winter! #disability #blm #BlackMastodon #housing #disabilityaid #mutualaid #vancouver #actuallyautistic

That moment when someone tells you you look angry or sad but you’re just vibin.


Shino Me
6 hours ago

#actuallyautistic & Sensory Hyperreactivity:

"commonly hyperreactive to
bright and flashing lights (75%),
loud noises (87.5%),
lots of conversations (82.5%),
high-pitch noises (77.5%),
music (75%),
public transport sounds (70%),
clothing (75%),
different textures (62.5%),
hot temperatures (55%),
food textures (65%),
strong scents (65%),
scent of perfume (60%)"

So why try ABA-Fans to force us to get over our native reactions?

#ActuallyAutistic friends, how do you know when you're burnt out? I think I MIGHT be, but I'm not entirely certain.

And if I am burnt out, what do you recommend I do about it?

Matthew | The Autistic Coach
7 hours ago

Do my #ActuallyAutistic comrades consider themselves to be “spiritual” (whatever that means to you) or people of faith? How does that connect to your autistic self and brain?

#AskingAutistics @actuallyautistic @actuallyautistics


For as little as $5.00 a month you can download almost all of my fiction past/present/future in mobi/epub/pdf.

That’s a lot of weird #neurodivergent #scifi and #darkfantasy.

You can even check it out free for 7 days.


#actuallyautistic #bookstodon #indie

~ajhalili2006 (more personal)
8 hours ago

#introduction #ActuallyAutistic @actuallyautistic: So, I'm converting this lurker backup account on Vivaldi Social to be the place to jot down my thoughts and stuff, kinda like the extended version of my main account ( but less unhinged (hint: political satire and shitposting) content on @FromTheBSHQ.

Obviously, I might start posting followers-only stuff in the future, so follow requests are enabled. (If we're both mutals on main or elsewhere/IRL, just ping/ask/contact me.)

Matthew | The Autistic Coach
8 hours ago

If you’re interested in connecting with other #ActuallyAutistic adults while learning about unmasking, self-advocacy, managing your triggers, and honoring your autistic self, you may enjoy attending one of my workshops. Want to learn more?

@actuallyautistic @actuallyautistics

@KaCi We should celebrate Schrödinger’s Autism (which I have) where the #neurodivergent person can both see and feel their condition, so it exists, but the NT person sees and feels nothing, so it cannot exist.


If you send me a message whose entire content is "What's the point of [tooting this or that]" prepare to be #blocked. If you do have a position, please present it right off the bat.

If you don't like what I #toot, you always have the option to #mute or #block me. Use it!

#Mastodon #autistic #actuallyautistic

You might be #AutisticMasking if you frequently apologize for talking too much, even after a sentence or two.

#ActuallyAutistic #Autistic #Neurodiversity #AuDHD #unmasking #AutisticBurnout

Matthew | The Autistic Coach
11 hours ago

Do my #ActuallyAutistic comrades deal with demand avoidance?

If so, you are not alone

#AskingAutistics @actuallyautistic @actuallyautistics

Jonathan Wright
11 hours ago

Pets don't only help those who are #ActuallyAutistic

They can aid the #Wellbeing of others too.

Anne Marie Price :ir:
12 hours ago

So I did it. I left. Now I try to figure this out on my own or swallow my pride and go back to my home state in a no where town and live with a step father I have real resentment towards in how he treated me when younger and who turned into a compulsive liar. The stories he tells now have me believe it is trauma related somehow. Rock and hard place time. I have no idea how I will do this and continue my work as an artist. But I guess I just have to start all over again at 50. #actuallyautistic

I feel today is going to be a struggle mentally.

Still, I'm ready to be #surprised. I've been surprised before. Maybe this willingness to be surprised is one of the gifts of #Zen.

#disability #MentalHealth #anxiety #depression #autism #ActuallyAutistic #wildfires #AirQuality #ZenBuddhism #ZenMeditation #meditation #surprise #KitchenSink

14 hours ago

For a while, after realizing how much I need peace at this stage of my life, I thought I could not have friends at all simply because of how much social stamina it takes to cultivate a friendship.

I'm happy to report that I was wrong- I just need my friends to be people who really get this and don't mind being in contact with me mostly via messaging.

I guess it goes without saying that most of my (few) good friends are also #ActuallyAutistic.


Prisma System
16 hours ago

Feiertage mitten in der Woche reißen unseren Host (Autist, ADHS) immer aus seinem Wochenablauf, und deswegen kann es sein, dass er eher genervt ist, anstatt sich über den freien Tag zu freuen.
Gibt es das öfter? Wie ist die nicht-repräsentative Verteilung bei AutistInnen, Multiplen (gibt es, vermutlich, Unterschiede je nach Persönlichkeit/Anteil), und wie bei allen Personen generell?
#actuallyautistic #Asperger #Autist #Pluralgang #Feiertag #ADHS

KaCi :gi:
17 hours ago

My autism is not what you observe.
It is what I experience.
It is mine. It is me.
My body, my mind, my personality are autistic. I am autistic.


Matthew | The Autistic Coach
17 hours ago

Do my #ActuallyAutistic comrades ever get told that they speak “too loud” in public, but you just don’t see it?

Do you get looks or nasty comments?

You’re not alone. It’s your sensory processing. You’re not at fault. Those comments & looks are ABLEISM.

@actuallyautistic @actuallyautistics

Sindastra :autism:
18 hours ago

How do you deal with all the loose ends of an argument/fight haunting you?

I had a really bad conversation yesterday and my mind won't shut up. Thinking about all the loose ends. Thinking about how the conversation could be resolved if the chance shows. But also the dread of knowing it would be futile to try. It's robbing my sleep even. I don't think I had it this bad before.


How you feel inside is just as valid as how you feel outside.

If you think you are experiencing an emotion but others fail to recognize it, and instead dismiss you and your emotions, that’s on them.

#Validation #ActuallyAutistic

I might have to step back here for a long time. Love the #actuallyautistic community here but it feels the feed based social media network just isn't for me. Seeing people's anxiety on social media also has had a severe knock on effect myself. My mental well-being is terrible at the moment.

europlus :autisminf:
1 day ago

@epp_john definitely resonates - I have been pondering since self-diagnosis, though, if my “introvert traits” are, in fact, spectrum traits. #ActuallyAutistic

1 day ago

Just let your harmless goblin child entertain themselves alone in the basement instead of insisting they gender role performatively in the sun.


Matthew | The Autistic Coach
1 day ago

Do my #ActuallyAutistic comrades stim by touching their face and looking at their fingers after? Picking at spots? Pulling small hairs out etc? Specifically as a means of self regulation.

You’re not alone.

#AskingAutistics @actuallyautistic @actuallyautistics

stray autistic pariah-cat
1 day ago

I don't know how it is that I didn't know this, but apparently the trait of being "perfectionistic" is associated with both Autism and ADHD.

I thought of it as part of my autism. And I do see autistic tendencies in this trait: focus on details, a tendency to black and white thinking. I also see how the #ADHD tendency to boredom with tedious activities would make this worse in terms of school work, since I'd get bored with assigned tasks but still expect myself to do well, even when I didn't want to complete a task. Talk about an impossible situation or dilemma.

I'd torture myself so much with perfectionism in school, it was disabling. Then I'd resort to avoidance: cutting class and staying home from school to the point of massive amounts of absence.

I didn't know BOTH ADHD and Autism had this as a trait, but a google search turns up multiple links and articles on both.

How did I not know that???

Anyone else have major issues with perfectionism to the point of major lifelong setbacks?

I avoided school so much (to avoid this torture of perfectionism) that when I entered into college I wasn't prepared for that environment. I eventually earned a masters. But throughout I had these two competing traits: perfectionism and yet intense boredom with tasks.

This was always such a difficult, tortuous combination of traits.


Adam Jones
1 day ago

The autistic me that listens to someone else talk about an interest in depth, to then moments later not remember ANYTHING about it.. because Its not my interest.

@actuallyautistic #actuallyautistic

1 day ago

I took your advice, #ActuallyAutistic, and bought three of an item of clothing that works for me (one each of three easy colours).

This is a huge stressor off the to-do list. I am possibly set for *years*. 🎉

Heather Cook🖖Autistic Coach
1 day ago

What's one way you are becoming strong enough to open up a bit more?

#AskingAutistics #ActuallyAutistic #AuDHD #Neurodiversity

Survival is Insufficient
1 day ago


Do you ever have to plan out your conversations because you are socially awkward?

Sometimes it helps to make a list of things you can say, such as:

"I don't talk to cops."

"I don't consent to a search."

"Am I free to go?"

"I'd like to speak to my lawyer."

Survival is Insufficient
1 day ago

It is really important to teach an autistic kid how to fight so they can kick anyone's ass. It's occupational therapy.


Johnny Profane Âû
1 day ago

@actuallyautistic @actuallyadhd #ActuallyAutistic #AskingAutistics #Neurodivergent #ADHD #AuDHD #Neurodiversity
#autism #Autistic

Hey, #ActuallyAutistic fam…

Just starting to write again after nearly 3 months. Health scare. Little rusty…Need your opinion.

This is something that might affect #AutsticElder males… maybe Enbys, females?

"Autistic Burnout? New Truth - What If It Actually Goes Deeper?"

I think humor often treads near the edge of good taste. Saying mildly forbidden things out loud? One source of jokes. The trick is, don't go over the edge, offend most of your audience. Think @Hannahgadsby...

I want to start my article like this... Do I get away with it?
Ever notice how pop culture gets our natural autistic ways all wrong? They try to be so hip… so inclusive. But like Sia, even tho she says she's autistic... they end up pissing us off?

Imagine your local open comedy mic. Your sipping the finest cheap swill the dimly lit establishment has to offer.

Some grinning dude struts out into the spotlight, swaggering like he's gonna slay the lit crowd. Grabs the mic, tilts his head back, laughs out loud, and launches into his best autistic-coded humor, cuz diversity and all:

A hip looking therapist sits at a desk in a lavishly furnished office in wood and leather. Wearing hip sunglasses.

"Neurotypical" is such a loaded term.
We are all different so we are all "neurodivergent" (or "neurodiverse") from each other. There just happen to be some statistically significant characteristics that apply to a majority of humans. Yet, it gets called "typical" aka "normal" while people who do not fit that are labeled, by implicit association as "abnormal".

Look at other labels we use.
"Heterosexual" on one end and "homosexual" on the other. Neither is officially labeled as "normal".
Skin color doesn't have a "colortypical".

I just wish we had better terminology for the vast spectrum of how the human mind can function.

#ActuallyAutistic #ND

Matthew | The Autistic Coach
1 day ago

Do my #ActuallyAutistic comrades wake up in the morning & feel refreshed?

#AskingAutistics @actuallyautistic @actuallyautistics

I’m thinking about #HarryHay ‘s concept of “SUBJECT/SUBJECT” and “SUBJECT/OBJECT” relating, in terms of autism.

I feel the “SUBJECT/SUBJECT” form is how most #ActuallyAutistic people interact with the world, while NTs are deeply involved in “SUBJECT/OBJECT”, with them always being the Subject, of course.

Don Cooley
2 days ago

I have not (yet) concluded that I AM #ActuallyAutistic. I have always thought I just have idiosyncrasies, some of which I observed in my dad. Some are pretty weird. I have never felt bad about them; they are a part of who I am and if criticised (which is constant) just kind of say "yes dear" and move along. Some frustrate me and make me want to kick my butt.
If there is a clinical explanation for me I am a bit disappointed.

2 days ago

Listening to Spectrum Women on Audible.

It’s interesting learning more and more about being Autistic and being able to start to have so many more ‘that’s why…’ moments for myself


Matthew | The Autistic Coach
2 days ago

Tell the truth #ActuallyAutistic comrades - do you dress for style or comfort?

#AskingAutistics @actuallyautistic @actuallyautistics

KaCi :gi:
2 days ago

I realised that living alone as an #ActuallyAutistic person after many years of being in a relationship is really helpful concerning the process of unmasking. I feel more connected to myself, have more energy despite being in a difficult situation and my ability to regulate my emotions has improved because I can follow my routines with less distractions and don't suppress my stimming.

If you're curious what sorts of educational costs go to! My kid started a voice over/voice acting class this week! They came out happy and seemingly even energized!! :blobfoxaww:


2 days ago

@AutisticAdam @actuallyautistic
Here's another one I would add:
When I explain why I may have trouble with certain things, they think I'm making excuses.

It's particularly frustrating when I'm trying to talk through the issues I may have while doing something, and people take it as me not wanting to do it. I'm talking it through precisely because I want to do it, and do it well!

Come to think of it, it's probably a subset of your third group.


KaCi :gi:
2 days ago

Do you think #ActuallyAutistic people can share a house or an apartment despite our different sensory needs and other competing aspects?
I am currently thinking about where and how to live in the future.

Matthew | The Autistic Coach
2 days ago
Adam Jones
2 days ago

Autistic me: *says nothing because I don't know what to say or sense people won't like what I say*

Non autistic person: "You're too quiet, you need to be confident and contribute to the conversation"

Me: *says something I think is kind, neutral or factual*

Non autistic person: "No, not like that!!"

Me: *Sigh*

@actuallyautistic #actuallyautistic

Dr. Figuring-things-aut
2 days ago

There's a good amount of talk about quality time. Spending quality time with your partner, friends, family. What doesn't get so much attention but what I think is extremely important to me as an #ActuallyAutistic person is quality time with myself.

Many things have been going on lately in my life and I noticed I haven't had much quality me-time (sometimes due to lack of time, often due to lack of energy). I need to take more of that. I need it to recover and decompress.

Adam Jones
2 days ago

When I don't pick up on subtext, others think I'm being rude: this is not true.

When I think I'm being detailed and clear, others think I'm being condescending: this is not true.

When I try to explain my autistic point of view, they think I'm trying to manipulate them: this is not true.

@actuallyautistic #actuallyautistic

2 days ago

Donations have been steady so it's been easy to stay calm but my situation is just as urgent as ever. I will be homeless this winter if I can't get housing, and I can't get housing with the amount of my disability cheque I pay in debt management. I need help. I need donations. Please

#MutualAid #PWD #Disability #Juneteenth #ActuallyAutistic #HousingForAll #HousingCrisis #blm #BlackMastodon #housing #disabilityaid #vancouver

eons Luna
2 days ago

Just wondering: for fellow @actuallyautistic people, do you have any other issues besides autism as well? I know ADHD is a big one, but what about other conditions like OCD, depression etc. (of which both I have as well)? #ActuallyAutistic

Matthew | The Autistic Coach
3 days ago

How old were you when you understood that you’re #ActuallyAutistic ?

While I was 3 when I received my diagnosis, it wasn’t until years later that I knew what it was and even more until I had internalized what it meant. Approaching my 4th decade, I’m still figuring it out.

@actuallyautistic @actuallyautistics

Another shower, another #FragMyBrain. I am really trying to reduce showering in order to stop having these stupid thoughts. But, hey, I can't stop having showers, can I?

Whenever I post something, and especially if it is something sad, and people respond not only with "Favorite" but write something, my brain goes bananas.

I *could* just favorite their response, they probably don't even think I'd respond, but at the very least they don't really *expect* a response. But just favoriting a response where someone says "I feel you, take care" or sends a hug or *something*, feels like ... disrespectful. It feels like I am saying "yeah, ok, whatever" - at least for my brain. And no, I don't think this way the other way around. It is only when *I* do/don't do it.

The next thought is "but what if they think the same and if I respond to their response they feel the obligation to respond again and this becomes a catch-22? What if they just wanted to say 'I feel you' and hoped I would just favorite it and done with it. If I respond, do I put them in a weird situation, make them uncomfortable? Wouldn't it be better just to favorite? But then, won't they think 'eh, fine. They didn't see my response worth a response, so they don't value it...'?"

You see, this goes on and on.

And then there is this variation: I then start responding, but this creates other problems.

If there are a lot of responses to my original post, I don't want my responses to these responses look like copy/paste, because then, my fragging brain thinks, it could come over as lazy, then I should rather not respond at all. "It is disrespectful to just copy/paste or even give the impression it is copy/paste."

Ok, then let's start writing different responses, problem solved, right? Wrong!

There is the next problem: but what if the responses are different but some of them (very) short, others (very) long. Won't the ones I responded to with a short response think I value their responses less than the responses where I responded longer? And the emojis: which emojis to use where? Won't the ones getting a "cheaper emoji"* think that their response is valued less than the response of those getting "not so cheap emojis"*?

Yes, I still have to live with this fraggin' brain 😖

*: cheap: my brain thinks that those that just look like a face are cheap because they are at the beginning of my emoji-view. The further I have to travel, the less cheap they become... Did I say that I still have to live another 78 years with this collection of garbage I call a brain?

#Musings #ActuallyAutistic #Neurodivergent #ND

Matthew | The Autistic Coach
3 days ago

Do my #ActuallyAutistic comrades stim by touching walls as they walk by?

#AskingAutistics @actuallyautistic @actuallyautistics