Today, I decided to pay a visit to the neighborhood in which I grew up as a kid. On my way there, I was reflecting on my childhood. Hong Kong by Gorillaz came on YouTube Music. (Yes, I play YouTube Music in my car.)
That's when it hit me.
What an eventful life I've lived! Who could have predicted it? I had a heart attack, and cancer. I've moved from Canada to the US to be with a lady for 26 years, though we're now divorced. I've been to India, Taiwan, and yes, Hong Kong, too. I have a bachelor's, a master's and a Ph.D. I've discovered late that I'm autistic. I've reasserted my true identity as pansexual and polyamorous, a little prior to discovering my autism.
Maybe my epitaph will read:
"If nothing else, this man has definitely led an eventful life."
Autistic people like the writer of this story often feel disconnected from the world, lonely and confused. “Now,” she writes, “with psychological terms such as interoception and alexithymia becoming more well-known, we can finally put words to our struggles and examine the ways having no intuition plays out in our lives and the decisions we make in them.”
When my son stopped attending primary school, people told me that he should just go to a free school, but it's not that easy.
My son "couldn't even go to free school."
The children of the people who gave me advice were attending school normally, so their advice was completely useless.
I realized that English is a terrible language for me as a #neurodivergent person in many ways. My language difficulties made learning the #language harder during both childhood and adulthood. SPELLING is my biggest problem. #English has so many words that are spelled weird. These words were supposed to be spelled in a way it’s actually pronounced, but they have silent letters and other bs. I wished I was fluent in a different language that isn’t as horrendous… #autism #learning
currently working on two #autism related projects - one is sorta secret and still under wraps though it has #participatorydesign in there, the other one is GIRAF https://github.com/aau-giraf, an opensource tablet environment for #autistic folks with little or no verbal communication.
Hit me up if either checks your boxes
Oh yes they are!😀 Possibilities of stimming are endless. Most adults seem to have quite subtle stims for most of the time- easily overlooked things we have done mindlessly for so long that we hardly notice them until someone points out that they are stims.
Considering that autism DX criteria are seriously flawed (more like a list of things neurotypicals dislike mixed with a few moldy stereotypes), I wouldn't use that as reference when pondering about your possible autism.
My standard suggestion for a free, easily available and relatively quick #Autism test is: find #ActuallyAutistic community from your favorite social media and see if you start feeling like you belong. Do our lifehacks work for you? Can you relate with what we discuss? Do you find enlightment? If yes, congratulations for discovering your unique but perfectly valid autism!
Considering that autists do not have a reputation as exceptionally lovable people who are easy to understand among NT's, false positives should be rare.
Good luck on your journey of discovery. No matter the end result, knowing one's neurotype is quite useful.
Finished chapter two.
Learned about the two modes of thinking- focused and diffused.
Basically, we learn most successfully when we alternate between these two modes.
Focused mode is as it says on the label- when you're actively focusing on learning something and laying a foundation of information in your mind, creating a path for your learning to follow. :blobcattriumph:
Diffused mode is when you're no thoughts, head empty, just vibing, daydreaming, giving your mind a chance to relax. :blobcatmelt:
There were thorough explanations for how to enter both modes, and reasons why you may get stuck while learning and simple solutions to help.
Entering focus is obvious, you just Do the thing, and basically experiment with how long you can focus before a break is necessary.
I thought that Diffuse mode would be easy/simple to enter, but what I found thru working on the exercise they provided is my tendency to not give myself enough time to enter diffuse mode. :blobcatsweat:
It felt emotionally and mentally difficult for me to move on from the challenge. It makes me wonder if tendrils theory of autism (the idea that autistic ppl struggling to move on from tasks because we become hyper invested, described in a comic here: https://the-art-of-autism.com/why-its-hard-to-switch-tasks-a-comic-strip-explanation/) may be at play for me, so I need to consider giving myself extra time to enter that relaxed state of mind.
There are a lot of ways to enter diffuse mode that are already apart of my routine. Meditation, dancing, making art, messaging my friends, swimming, riding a bike, taking a shower, being a passenger on a bus or in a car. This chapter even suggested using them as rewards, which works well for me. I love taking a dance break or having an excuse to ride my bike around the neighborhood.
It was also emphasized many times that sometimes you just need to fucking go to sleep! Which I love as any kind of advice when it comes to "productivity". Rest is essential. :comfyhappy:
There were really memorable visual examples, such as a pinball machine to represent the two modes of thinking, or the eyes on the prize 🏆 vs. eyes on the flies 🦟 to represent those two modes.
Overall, I feel a lot more confident in my awareness of my state of mind while learning, why I get stuck on things, what to do when I get stuck, and less like I'm dysfunctional. They also mentioned adhd and challenges that may present for folks dealing with that. Their suggestions were helpful, and even the things they mentioned that weren't specifically speaking to adhd minds would be helpful for our learning disability. It just seems very gentle and forgiving method of learning, which is inherently inclusive imho. :blobcatmeltthumbsup:
In my experience, people who are most eager to tell me, that I "can't be" #ActuallyAutistic because I don't fit their very narrow and very outdated stereotypical ideas, are the first to run for the hills when -as inevitably happens sooner or later- I flash my #Autism stripes...
The instance I'm currently on, lolison.top, is planning on resetting on December 23rd. While it will be back up in January if everything goes well, my account and all of my posts will be deleted.
I also don't know if I will be able to reclaim my username, so just in case, please follow my alternate account on lolison.network if you can.
And if it all comes tumbling down, at least download my captions using the link below.
I will continue posting on lolison.top for the time being, and I hope that I am able to pass the "higher entry level requirements" the admins are putting into place next year.
If I am accepted, I'll be reposting everything on lolison.top again :wojak_tired: (You'll have to follow me again as well.)
If I'm not, I'll start posting on lolison.network :wojak_tired:
#blacked #bbc #caption #loli #goon #autism #cringe #muchotexto
This is a great reminder. Even now I forget that things that are easy for me can be difficult for my child with #autism, and I get blindsided when the shutdown occurs.
Bit of an #autism based rant: so, Kero and I get our veg delivered from a local community farm. It's a charity and does good work feeding people who would otherwise struggle.
However, I'm #ActuallyAutistic, and like a lot of us, there are things that aren't food to me.
Here's the problem: the farm only allows us to have 3 banned vegetables, and plays stupid word games with the ones you've banned.
I don't care if its a rare variety without the word cabbage in the name. It's a fucking cabbage.
We asked a non-binary person to review the new JK Rowling book. They had a lot to say
If you thought JK Rowling’s previous book in her Cormoran Strike series was an unsubtle nod to anti-trans bigotry, the latest instalment really said: “Hold my beer.”
In this week’s blog, I look at the divisive subject of the Autism Mom.
You can read it here:
[P] The terrible humour if it all is that for the week leading up to my home being threatened? I was thinking of homelessness again and how only a truly evil world could allow something so abhorrent to exist. In my inner-fiction, everyone is provided for, with food, shelter, and entertainment. These are the rights of sentient life. I wonder, do you relate to this?
[P] The social identity allistic might say "But I have compassion. I know justice." No, you don't have compassion. And your "justice" is the just-world fallacy. The uncomfortable truth of justice and compassion is that they are NOT—and I stress, are NOT—meant only for the in-group. You can only understand justice and compassion if you apply it to everyone equally, including non-human wild animals and our world, which social identiy allistics cannot do.
[P] This animation really is something that only an autistic person could love. I say this as an autistic person. Why? It promotes thought over social identity's toxic conformity. The average allistic will agree with evil, cruelty, and meanness just to be liked, to gain more footing within a dominant social identity. They're compelled by fitting in, whereas I'm compelled by justice and compassion, which is why I'm largely a loner.
[P] This... This also resonates. It reminds me of how the way to my inner-fiction—as vibrantly diverse and fantastic as that is—was achieved by NOT following social identity, by NOT doing the evil things they do, by NOT fetishising the in-group and hating the out-group. This speaks to my nature, as an autistic person with a values-based identity. Think > Obey.
When a child is not attending school, the important thing is that the mother is healthy.
Fathers are also important, but (generally speaking in my country) it is the mother who has the most contact with the child.
I try to listen to my wife's talk as much as possible and try to keep the couple on the same page.
I stopped watching video essays on #YouTube earlier this year. The reason was because these kind of videos require so much attention from me be due to them incorporating dense linguistic, auditory and visual stimuli. Many VEs even go unnecessarily overboard with the FXs and pacing. They were regularly giving me a bit of sensory overload. It's better to just read articles or books instead. It felt a lot easier for my brain. #autism #audhd #adhd #neurodiversity :blobcatuwu:
A little treat from the universe for an #ActuallyAutistic :
As I stand admiring results of my afternoon's work on my shiny deep cleaned balcony in light of setting sun, I suddenly hear faint sounds of migrating geese in the distance, their calls so quiet I can barely hear them from under the traffic. I realize, that no normal person standing next to me would ever have heard the sounds of their passing somewhere among the clouds.
And I remember that moments like this are why I have become an #Autism advocate. I'm not much of a people person, really. But this beautiful reality of mine and others like it bloody deserve to go on existing. They deserve to thrive and be around for as long as there are humans on this planet. This reality, Takiwatanga, this way of perceiving the world around me is worth any and every struggle that the Dull World can throw at me.
I have an enormous body of work like drawing, computer programs, writing, etc. that have never seen the light of day. That's masking for ya
[P] It's an...experience living every day in fear of out-group hate, knowing that we will be perceived as the out-group by every dominant social identity, knowing that if we don't hide we'll be abused and it'll be hand-waved away with the just-world fallacy. Constant fear. All the time. Hiraeth... I just want to go home, and home isn't this world. This out-group hate would be as alien to our true home as we are to earth humans.
@servelan @samiam @actuallyautistic the biggest “tell” wrt #Autism for me was my memories of sensitivity to fabrics when I was little. That tactile sensitivity has faded with respect to sensitivity to noise and high frequencies, which has increased as I’ve aged. #AuditoryProcessingDisorder #SensoryProcessingDisorder #AutisticElders
@samiam @actuallyautistic What made it all make sense is another student (I was 60 when this happened) described her issues buying clothes, that the shade of blue mattered, and whether they were too rough or not...basically, sensory processing disorder. Lists of symptoms didn't make sense until then - and they don't always include SPD as a symptom, but a former counselor said she'd never met anyone with #autism who didn't have it.
Here are 57 ideas of activities for Autistics, and parents, to feel good and regulated so you have the energy to cope when things happen that are more challenging to deal with. Free printable.
Another potential resource for neurodivergent folks in #HigherEd is ReASoN. If you're looking for some community, check them out. They're relatively new and based out of the UK, but they have online meetings and speakers. Check out ReASoN's website for more resources and recordings of their talks.
Criminal Complaint Against Bayer for Concealing Glyphosate Risks to Pregnant Women. In defiance of regulations, Bayer's #EU re-authorization application for #glyphosate lacks the majority of publications showing neurotoxicity, including a study showing increased risk of #autism spectrum in children whose mothers were exposed to glyphosate during #pregnancy or in their first year of life. https://www.pan-europe.info/press-releases/2023/09/criminal-complaint-against-bayer-concealing-glyphosate-risks-pregnant-women#
I am going for a check up with a #adhd specialist for the first time since I got my diagnosis (yup) - I will maybe be able to have her as my psychiatrist. I would be so happy to be followed by someone who actually understands what's going on 🥰 I will ask her about the #autism diagnosis since there are no specialist in my (rather) big town and see if she's up to follow me there
For those of us who are late diagnosed there often comes a point as we learn more, when we look back on our lives and think one simple question, "How the fuck did I not know and how did no one else know either?"
The answer to this though can be quite complex. For starters there is an aspect of internalised ableism. We didn't look into being autistic because probably whatever understanding of autism we might have had was so negatively stereotyped that we knew it couldn't be that. Assuming of course that we had any understanding, perhaps other than something like rain man. Because certainly pre-internet there just wasn't much awareness of it at all. Not to the general public anyway. Only if your work or education brought you into contact with it were you likely to know anything and even then it may not have been very helpful. Because you could argue that even more so than now there was far more mis-information than helpful information out there and certainly not the sort of things that we could see ourselves in. The other thing that was lacking to even vaguely push us in the direction of thinking of autism was any degree of representation in media. The excellent documentary on trans representation "Disclosure.", does a really good job of highlighting how important representation in TV and film is, even to the point that even bad representation is better than no representation. And I think that this is as true for us, as it is for them. Because when there is nothing out there to push you in the right direction, then the only direction you can go in is inwards. You become the problem, the issue. Your failings, your weakness, your shame. And such feelings of course make us just mask more and hide even deeper, even from those like us who might have been out there.
Of course a lot has changed in the last few decades, not least the availability of better information on the internet. I personally would not be here without it. Because it was only what I found on there that started my journey towards self-diagnosis. There is more widespread awareness of what autism is and looks like, not perfect by any means, but a lot better than it was. To the point now where a lot of adults are diagnosed or diagnose themselves because of a child being spotting and diagnosed correctly at school or by their health care team. It is perhaps difficult to remember how much has changed and that perhaps is the final reason. We are looking back with the knowledge and understanding we have now, not with what was known then. Because with what was known then and with what we knew then the question perhaps should really be "How could I or anyone have possibly known?"
My husband has ADHD, and is a coach (MS Psych) for people functioning in work environments that are hostile/indifferent to neurodivergent employees. He works with their managers too. He’s writing a guide to address the management disconnect you mention, @stavvers. I showed him this thread. I’ll share here when it’s available.
My Conditions Are Not Moral Failings
It is really hard to abandon the idea that conditions are moral failings when society at large bleats that they are.
I'm so thankful that I just get a quiet day today.
I'm salt sweeping the kitchen and living room, putting on washing, cleaning up the kitchen (it's a nightmare after my housemate working from home the last two days), and playing some games.
No literally I had several people helping me get a T1 IT job at one point. + my therapist. When I said I fought hard for this job... 😓
I was just hoping I could have interesting tech discussions with my coworkers while doing drudge IT stuff.
The latest hacks.
Can you run Doom on a TI84 calc? (You can.)
What have you added to your homelab recently?
Tech/CS/IT is one of my autistic interests...
Employers be like: "Are you able to work in a noisy, fast paced [chaotic] environment?"
And I just wanna know... do they expect me to be working ringside at a bare knuckle boxing ring and gambling den?🤔
Is that where you expect me to file these reports or... what? Like am I supposed to be dodging blood, punches and spittle while calmly dealing with a customer computer issues over the phone?? BE HONEST. 😫
Autistic people who accuse other autistic people of being 'fake autistics' because they post positive things about being autistic and trans people who accuse other trans people of being 'fake trans' because they post positive things about being trans are, quite literally, same shit, different asshole.
I do like Prime numbers and Odd numbers:
17 is very special.
* 17 is the 7th Prime
* 1 is an odd number
* 7 is an odd number
* 17 is an odd number
* 1 + 7 = 8, although an even number, it symbolises infinity and eternity, and us #ActuallyAutistics
13 is also special.
* A Prime
* An Odd
* A Fibonacci number
And depending on whom you ask:
* The 8th Fibonacci number
* The 7th Fibonacci number
* The anniversary of my first romantic relationship was on: 1997-07-17. It was my first love who picked that, and she had no idea what my favourite numbers are.
* My height is 175 cm or 5'75" to 5'85" (depending on whom you ask).
* Favourite time of the day: 07:00 and 19:00 (7pm). 19 is the 8th Prime. (There's 8 again.)
And I'm #OpenlyAutistic. ^_^
How about you? What two #Autism stereotypes is you and not you?
Hi everyone! I want new faces in my tl
If you're open and curious, and/or like :
#music and/or play or learn it
#anime and #manga
#reading and #books
#occult, #folklore, #tarot, #divination and #cartomancy
speak about #autism, #adhd, #audhd
boosting is sweet and appreciated, feel free to follow me or just interact with this if you don't want to. I don't mind people not following ♥
this is very distressing to read, let alone watch. How did they ever think this was ok and appropriate.
All The Things ADHD is a great podcast by two academics: @Readywriting and Aimée Morrison.
If you're looking for some particularly good places to start, I recommend S5 E8 Neurodivergent college survival tips, S4 E13: What if, wait for it, we didn’t have to fundamentally change who we are to be successful?, and S4 E21: The Sh*t Sandwich.
My new Scientific American column on the most persistent myth in #autism research, and how #autistic researchers and allies are pushing back. https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/autism-human-connection-and-the-double-empathy-problem/
I got an HD on the paper I handed in last week. It was a critical analysis of the policy report from People with Disabilities Australia and Domestic Violence NSW.
I'm pretty chuffed with the comment I got from my lecturer 😊
Just realized my echolalia (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Echolalia) is probably how I learned English so quickly when I was a kid
I didn’t learn grammar rules until much later, but was able to understand and even communicate because I used to repeat the sentences I read/saw so much I’d memorize the right way of saying things
I honestly still do it quite a lot - using premade sentences from memory is way easier to me than trying to be spontaneous
Four Different Autism Subtypes Identified by Brain Activity (from April 2023)
Using a combination of machine learning and neuroimaging data, researchers report people on the autism spectrum can be classified into four different subtype groups based on brain activity and behavior.