#Boundaries
It’s OK to choose preserving your own mental health over preserving relationships - even with family. #mentalhealth #ReligiousTrauma #estrangement #choices #boundaries #selfcare #selflove
Don’t let people talk you out of your mental health journey. Oftentimes, those who attempt to are part of the reason you need to heal in the first place. ❤️
#SelfLove #SelfAwareness #SelfCare #YouMatter #Anxiety #Depression #Codependency #Empathy #Boundaries #HumanRights #Creativity #Coach #BlackMastodon #LifeCoach #RadicalSelfCare #Community #SelfWorth #Trauma #MentalHealth #Love #Peace #Panic #Breathe #Loneliness #Voice #Purpose #Destiny #Stress #MentalHealth #Thoughts #Boundaries
“…she encourages people to look beyond superficial fixes… Instead… real #SelfCare requires embracing internal work, which she outlines as four practices: setting #boundaries practicing self-#compassion aligning your #values & exercising #power. Lakshmin argues that when you practice real self-care, you not only take care of yourself, but you can also plant the seeds for change in your #community.”
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-ezra-klein-show/id1548604447?i=1000628411641
Ending the day by looking for examples of active / reflective listening.
:awesome:
I want to improve my listening skills, to be more detached, whilst still being supportive.
I see someone with a complaint as needing a fix. I've got to hold off offering solutions if I'm to stay neutral.
People often look to vent first, to a good listener. They may also want someone to blame, so it's best I learn to step back to avoid being their target.
Realize you don't owe anyone an explanation.
When you want to say 'no' without allowing people to twist your arm or pressure you to make an excuse they can tear down >
1. Thank them for the offer.
2. Tell them you can't agree.
3. Offer no explanation.
[Tips from Science of People]
"What restores me to myself?
What needs to be restored, repaired, revisited, re-visioned and re-envisioned?"
Lovely writing from Havi as usual.
(Also contains reflections on anger, boundaries, Long Covid, seasons, Jewish New Year, newness in general, and how to make whipped honey.)
https://www.fluentself.com/blog/personal/newness/
#life #thinking #recipes #honey #JewishNewYear #LongCovid #boundaries
I cannot be everyone’s friend
I cannot be everyone’s hero
I don’t have a thousand hours in a day
Nor unlimited beats of my heart
Its okay if some people don’t love me
I’m allowed to feel sad for such loss
I yearn for closeness and harmony
But neither of these can be forced
Patiently, patiently, take a deep breath
Tomorrow will bring its own troubles
#poem #poetry #poemoftheday #photography #cwh #boundaries #commonloon #loon #baby #babyloon #cottage #cottagecountry #ontario #ontariolakes
How to say no and set better boundaries at work
#psychology #communication #boundaries
Have you found yourself struggling to set boundaries with those closest to you? Are you wondering why people stay in abusive relationships? https://diaryofafloppingfish.com/2023/09/15/toxic-family-and-setting-boundaries/ #CPTSD #PTSD #MentalHealth #Toxicfamily #Boundaries
It's harder to find good leaders than it should be. Being in charge of a big country or company isn't the criteria. #Leadership #Boundaries #Recovery #MentalHealth
http://fromfaminetofeast-eatingdisordersandrecovery.com/2023/09/15/does-a-leader-need-followers/
Earth beyond six of nine planetary boundaries
https://www.science.org/doi/10.1126/sciadv.adh2458
#PlanetWreckers #Boundaries #PlanetaryBoundaries #transgression #growth #biodiversity #pollution #climate #water #biosphere #habitability
"Freezing does not make you bad or wrong. Bad and wrong is what John did.
But the freeze is something you can work on, out of respect for for yourself and your own boundaries. When someone lays inappropriate claim to your body, you want a hard no at the ready. No qualms, no hesitation. It may take some time and deprogramming... but knowing it’s a right and fair response to unwelcome touching is where that kind of confidence starts."
https://www.washingtonpost.com/advice/2023/09/13/carolyn-hax-brother-in-law-makes-pass/
#KareenaKapoorKhan on #discussing #samesexmarriage with #Taimur and #Jeh: #Love has no #boundaries.
This isn't the first time Kareena Kapoor Khan has expressed her #support for the #LGBTQIA+ #community
#Women #Transgender #LGBTQ #LGBTQIA #India #SameSexMarriage #MarriageEquality #Representation #Culture
Everyone ages
I don’t fear getting older
Enlightenment comes
I tore the soul out
Our family is broken
I don’t regret it
Call out to my soul
Melt away oblivion
No longer alone
#poem #poetry #poemoftheday #photography #cwh #soul #housefly #garden #houseplant #sunrose #family #toxic #abuse #domesticviolence #domesticabuse #divorce #custody #survivor #ptsd #cptsd #mentalhealth #aging #birthday #gettingolder #greyhair #middleage #poemoftheday #life #boundaries #chosenfamily
For those on the neurodifferent.me server, please keep in mind that @squish is human. As far as I am aware, they are managing and running that server all on their own, and Squish is not paid, so please extend some grace. Thank them for their time and their effort. Tell Squish you appreciate all that they do.
#Neurodivergent #neurodiversity #ADHD #autistic #bipolar #depression #schizophrenia #TBI #SelfCare #CommunityBuilding #Boundaries
As I've learnt more about boundaries, I've been teaching myself and a friend how to implement them in our lives.
Some of my 🚩warning flags:
- stressed staff/volunteers
- hasty departure/death of previous staff member(s)
- unpaid work / overtime requests
- overtime is essential due to project overrun
- poor role separation
- poor / non existent management support
- poor / non existent accessibility support
- poor stakeholder communication /
cooperation
#GIRES, the Global Institute for Research Education & Scholarship (#GIRESinstitute) will hold a set of virtual #seminars on "Fluid #Boundaries: #Gender and the Freedom of Movement in American #Literature" between October 1 and December 3, 2023.
🗓️Deadline for Registrations: September 27, 2023
📌Further Information:
https://avldigital.de/de/vernetzen/details/event/fluid-boundaries-gender-and-the-freedom-of-movement-in-american-literature-4/ #fidavlnews @litstudies
Going flat out to get a bunch of nonprofit org things ready to launch on Tuesday.
"Fractional" is a dangerous position to be in. It can easily spill over into too much work (which means not enough pay).
Setting professional boundaries can be challenging.
Not everyone will recognize your weakness as strength, and not everyone deserves access to your transformation.
https://mollycantrellkraig.co/not-everyone-deserves-your-weakness/
#boundaries #blog #transition #trans #transformation #MentalHealth #LifeCoach #frfr #LifeLesson #Life
Am I More Autistic Than I Used To Be?
For people who used to mask, the realization that they are autistic may make them appear more autistic to the world.
The answer is “no,” you are not more autistic than you used to be. As I’ve taken pains to explain with my garden allegory, we are autistic from birth. Those who mask are able to hide this fact to the world, and sometimes to themselves. That’s exactly what I did for most of my life. My autism was there, but it was hidden to everyone.
The Autistic And Allistic Minds As Gardens
It is often neurotypical people that will tell autistic people that they look more autistic than they used to. These neurotypical people are misguided. They hold onto a stereotype of what an autistic person should look like. The more the autistic person conforms to this stereotype, the more autistic they are. This, of course, is nonsense. As I’ve explained above, we’re autistic from birth. How we manifest into the world has nothing to do with whether we are more or less autistic.
I do know now that I am autistic. I am letting the mask fall down. Some of the effects of the mask falling down have been somatic effects, that I don’t have any control over. However, other effects are behavioral, and these behavioral effects are evolving.
My stimming has evolved quite a bit lately. It used to be very discreet. I would stim, for the most part, under the table, or the stim would be invisible, like grinding my teeth. Sometimes I’d tap my desk, but that was in rhythm to the music. I’d also listen to music and music videos because I’m an audio-visual stimmer. However, after my cancer, I also started hand-dancing. At any rate, these stims were mostly socially acceptable stims. Either people did not see them, or I could explain them away.
Since I’ve discovered that I’m autistic, I’m also using more varied forms of stimming. For instance, I hit my fists together. I never ever used to do this. I’ve also started doing movements similar to my hand-dancing. II usually hand-dance to music. However, this new stim is not done to music, but it looks like fragments of hand-dancing. It is hard to explain. I don’t think I’ll ever go into hand-flapping mode, or twirling mode, but I’m still evolving. Also, I don’t shame the people who hand-flap or twirl.
I’m also much better at establishing boundaries. I’ve always been okay in social settings. Yes, they generate anxiety, but I was able to cope with it, and I did not need to be the center of attention. However, lately, I have had a harder time, especially if the place where the event is happening is noisy. It used to be that if an event was from this time to that time, I’d say for the whole thing unless I had some other important thing I needed to attend to. I now leave when I feel that I’ve had enough. I’ve done this a few times. Truth be told, I do have something important to attend to: myself.
I’m also aiming to not return into an office, or do any kind of work attached to an office, if I can help it. I’ve been in an office. I’ve also done work attached to an office. I don’t want to return to this. Right now, I am writing, which is already something, but I need to find more sources of income if I don’t want to return into an office. This wasn’t really a conscious goal of mine before I knew I was autistic, but now it is.
Finally, I have no qualms about telling people that I am autistic, or about wearing “autistic clothing” like my Stimming Is Life shirt. (Available in my Bonfire store.) If they cannot handle it (and some cannot), it is their loss.
(Original article on substack.)
#actuallyautistic #boundaries #makingalivingwhileautistic #masking #selfcare #stimming #stimmingislife #work #yourautisticlife
https://www.yourautisticlife.com/2023/08/28/am-i-more-autistic-than-i-used-to-be/
Don’t allow the stress of thinking about the days ahead to steal your present peace.
One breath at a time.
One thought at a time.
One day at a time.
Peace. ❤️
#SelfLove #SelfAwareness #SelfCare #YouMatter #Anxiety #Depression #Beauty #Empathy #Boundaries #HumanRights #Creativity #Coach #BlackMastodon #LifeCoach #RadicalSelfCare #Community #SelfWorth #Trauma #MentalHealth #Love #Peace #Panic #Breathe #Loneliness #Love #Voice #Purpose #Destiny #Stress #MentalHealth #Thoughts
It's OK to distance yourself from people who drain you or hurt you -- even if they don't mean to.
It's possible to do so with kindness, both to yourself and that other person. It requires setting boundaries for as long as you feel they're necessary.
"Thanks for calling, but I can't talk right now."
"Sorry, right now I can't make plans. Hope you can find someone else to go with you."
"I'm unable to meet this week. I'll let you know if I become available in the future."
Why did you leave me?
Did you think I’d welcome you back?
After all you’ve done
After walking out
Did you really expect me to be waiting?
With open arms?
Did you think I’d obey
Your every command
Did you honestly think
You could hold me down?
#poetry #poem #poemoftheday #mentalhealth #photography #ptsd #cptsd #survivor #domesticviolence #domesticabuse #abuse #divorce #mentalhealth #bpd #mentalhealthawareness #lifeismessy #recovery #boundaries #life #parliament #escape
I am the organizer of a group in #Boston which does #COVID-safe movie outings.
There's a woman in the group whom I know from before (our kids went to the same school) who has IMO always been socially clueless.
For the most recent outing, she paid for six tickets. Then she sent me an email saying that she didn't actually know if she needed that many but if not, could I donate the extra to the theater foundation I mentioned in my email?
#smdh #WhyArePeople #boundaries
1/5
Something I've been thinking about is how some societies or popular messaging is so much about goal-setting that it forgets the human being at the center of that goal.
We should have goals, but we should also know our limits and set them. We shouldn't pursue goals and forsake all else. We should pursue goals so that we stay happy and healthy during the journey.
I used to be the golden child
Until I said no
Now I am the scapegoat
No one wants to know
https://elameadows.wordpress.com/2023/06/04/scapegoat/
#poem #poetry #poemoftheday #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #ptsd #cptsd #photography #goats #kids #babygoats #cute #animals #abuse #domesticviolence #survivor #scapegoat #boundaries #sayno #goat #childhoodtrauma
This morning, I'm having to remind myself that nothing is more important than one's own mental health.
Now matter how much you feel like compromising that is necessary, you should always prioritize your mental health and well-being. To fail to do so creates suffering significantly worse than any feeling of rejection or exclusion can effect.
Even if being alone were the result of being uncompromising in this regard, and it rarely is, the loneliness is still better than the result of compromising oneself.
It's tough to remember that in the moment. But if I sit for a moment and think about all the times I have made compromises like these, it's much easier to see why none of them were worth making.
For any reason.
One day I'll have sufficiently healed from my #PTSD that I won't need to have such rigid #boundaries where I've needed to lay some down. That'll be a good day, but that day is not this day.
Nobody likes the colleague who reflexively says, "That's not my job!" but nobody promotes the person who never says, "That's not my job!"
#focus #boundaries #OtherDutiesAsAssigned
I had the tough conversation I had been anticipating last night. I ran through five or six different scenarios in my head over and over. I had a stress nightmare the night before. The person I had to speak with was receptive, kind, and understanding. And I have now cut the last strands tying me to a quartet I didn't want to sing with LOL. I know it sounds minor but it was huge for me :)
Sat down recently with the brilliant K Mataōtama Strohl for an episode of Absolutely Not!
If you haven't run across, it's a great podcast about boundaries...
We went deep on a few topics:
- What changes when you talk about power early and often
- Managing in a pressure cooker workplace / what to do when you find you are the one turning the knob up
- Why we need to keep asking ourselves, "What am I negotiating here?"
Fluff piece on Matt Mercer in Slate. Can’t say I agree with the headline about nobody believing they’d get famous. DiceCameraAction had controversy from one member’s ’body positivity’ forum. That might not correlate being famous for some, I realize. https://slate.com/human-interest/2023/08/dungeons-dragons-critical-role-matthew-mercer-twitch.html
In other news, it has been rumored that they are switching off 5th edition D&D upon completion of campaign 3.
#CriticalRole #TTRPG #Slate #Boundaries
Just in case you needed to hear this today, it’s okay to be selfish. Here’s why:
https://mollycantrellkraig.co/its-okay-to-be-selfish/
#writing #writer #LifeCoach #SelfCare #growth #boundaries #author
Unleashing Creativity and Defying Boundaries: The Entrepreneurial Spirit of Blxpltn and HostRooster: In a world rife with political and social turmoil, the band Blxpltn emerges as a beacon of future punk intensity, taking a fearless stand against divisiveness and oppression. Based in Austin, this dynamic duo, consisting of Jonathan Horstmann (JH) and TaSzlin Muerte (TM), unleashes their creative fervor, reflecting the ethos… https://hub.hostrooster.com/roost/unleashing-creativity-and-defying-boundaries-the-entrepreneurial-spirit-of-blxpltn-and-hostrooster/?utm_source=dlvr.it&utm_medium=mastodon #roost #and #blxpltn #boundaries #creativity
More awesomeness continues to unfold as #ActivityPub and #DeSoc in general continue to transcend the #boundaries between obscurity and #mainstream #communications and societal interactivity between people, institutions, and the software systems we use on a daily basis - that is, Privacy respecting, #FOSS based software that can be easily self-hosted by any person or company.
So…. This, from the version 4.0.0-rc1 docs themselves:
This module also shows how the social_auth 4.x module could be used as a base to allow multiple servers of same kind (as gitlab, nextcloud, fediverse oriented instances…) to provide auth access.
How to Convince Someone to Try Something You Love: https://lydiaschoch.com/how-to-convince-someone-to-try-something-you-love/ #MondayBlogs #ArchiveDay #Boundaries
1/3: Back on my stuff about #friendships. It's been a year since I lost one I considered a brother, and now I might have lost another one. I was going through it and they ghosted me for a day, and I told them it hurt my feelings (#boundaries you know, big props to my #therapist) and they let me know that I hurt their feelings a lot. This was news to me, and I apologized and asked them to tell me when it happened so I could stop it.
I hope you take time to remind yourself of how much work you have put into being able to be here. When you do, I hope it leaves you feeling encouraged and empowered. ❤️ #SelfCare #SelfLove #SelfAwareness #Healing #MentalHealthAwareness #Love #Peace #Individual #Encouragement #ProtectYourEnergy #DefineYourself #ProtectYourPeace #BlackMastodon #EmotionalAbuse #TraumaBonds #Trauma #YouTube #LifeCoach #Joy #Freedom #Truth #Light #HumanRights #Mindfulness #FamilyTies #BlackSheep #Divorce #Family #Autonomy #SelfCareSunday #Trauma #GenerationalTrauma #SilentSunday #Radicalselfcare #Boundaries #Depression #Anxiety #Voice #Empowerment #KnowYourWorth
Even when you feel unseen or unheard, you are still here. You exist. You matter. You make a difference. ❤️ #SelfLove #SelfAwareness #SelfCare #YouMatter #Anxiety #Depression #Beauty #Empathy #Boundaries #HumanRights #Creativity #Coach #BlackMastodon #Equality #LifeCoach #RadicalSelfCare #Community #SelfWorth #Trauma #MentalHealth #Love #Peace #Panic #Breathe #Loneliness #Love #Voice #Purpose #Destiny
It's been a rough week. My dad is dying and we aren't speaking, nor do I think we will before he goes. It's funny when you've mourned the loss of someone far before they've gone and watched someone you used to adore turn into someone you don't even want to be in the same room with.
Being honest and setting my boundaries has turned me into the black sheep of the family, though to be honest, I've felt that way my whole life.
But for some reason, I woke up this morning feeling almost ok, which is huge for someone who is also dealing with major health issues on top of this. One thing I've noticed about setting boundaries with my family is how calm and pleasant my life is when I step away from the lifelong chaos. It's a complicated feel.
My latest video is for those who are too hard on themselves. Just a bit of encouragement. 💚 https://youtu.be/3hhIHMnLgYE #SelfCare #SelfLove #SelfAwareness #Healing #MentalHealthAwareness #Love #Peace #Individual #Individuality #ProtectYourEnergy #DefineYourself #ProtectYourPeace #BlackMastodon #EmotionalAbuse #TraumaBonds #Trauma #YouTube #LifeCoach #Joy #Freedom #Truth #Light #HumanRights #Mindfulness #FamilyTies #BlackSheep #Divorce #Family #Autonomy #SelfCareSunday #Trauma #GenerationalTrauma #Radicalselfcare #Boundaries #Depression #Anxiety #Voice #Question #KnowYourWorth
Insight informs our compassion of when it’s time to set a boundary, www.compassmethods.com. https://youtube.com/@CompassionsCompass-sb7jo
#mentalhealth #insight #boundaries #compassion #wellbeing
I took a walk in the mountains yesterday. It was a much needed getaway. I came upon these flowers and could not help but think about how they look like they decided to be beautiful whether or not anyone notices.
They look like they know they were just meant to be this way. There is no forced modesty. There is none among them who seems to be hiding its color or glory. They simply exist and take up space in the warmth of a sun that is as much theirs as it is anyone else’s. Be like these flowers, Beloved. 💜 #SelfLove #SelfAwareness #SelfCare #Bright #Anxiety #Depression #Beauty #Empathy #Boundaries #HumanRights #Creativity #Coach #BlackMastodon #Color #Equality #LifeCoach #RadicalSelfCare #SilentSunday #SelfCareSunday #LifeCoach #SelfWorth #Trauma #MentalHealth #Love #Peace
NEW PODCAST EPISODE!
Loved speaking to Baggage Reclaim Sessions blog / podcast host and The Joy of Saying No author Natalie Lue on #boundaries in #relationships.
Listen to the episode: https://tinyurl.com/2mn2vpew
Watch the interview: https://tinyurl.com/ywj378ty
#books #podcast #book #bookstodon
#Design #Launches
World-wide open map dataset · The Overture Maps Foundation released open data for 60 million places https://ilo.im/14ek76
_____
#World #Maps #MapData #OpenData #OvertureMapsFoundation #Business #Design #WebDesign #WebDevelopment #WebDev #DataLayers #PlacesOfInterest #Buildings #Transportation #Boundaries #Locations
Someone needs to learn about #boundaries:
'I’ll see him later': Mace tells prayer breakfast she skipped sex with her fiancé - Alternet.org
https://www.alternet.org/mace-ill-see-him-later/
You deserve a relationship where you are not doing all of the emotional labor. You deserve communication. You deserve connection. You deserve to feel safe. You deserve affection. You deserve to be able to trust your partner. You deserve someone who gets your sense of humor. You deserve honesty. You deserve to feel like you are on a team. You deserve to be with someone who honors your individuality. You deserve more than the bare minimum. You deserve love.
#Feelings #Fear #Forgiveness #NoContact #AccessDenied #Boundaries #MentalHealth #MentalHealthAwareness #SelfLove #BlackMastodon #Spirituality #Religion #Culture #HumanRights #SelfPreservation #RadicalSelfCare #SelfCare #Forgive #YouTube #Unapologetic #Love #Mindfulness #Healing #Anxiety #LifeCoach #Depression #Balance #Relationships #EmotionalAbuse #Manipulation #Narcissism #Gaslighting #Laugh #Authenticity #Codependency #Happiness
#Peace #Joy
Reminder: a "boundary" is something you set for *yourself*. Like, "if you do X, I will do Y". The "I will do Y" part is the boundary.
"You can't do X" is not a boundary. It's a rule, an attempt to control another person. Don't let someone call you a "boundary violator" if you simply refuse to accept their rules for you.
#boundaries #TherapySpeak #terminology #buzzwords #JonahHill
While we don’t discount our feelings, being fully led by them can be a slippery slope. You may feel sad that you have to walk away from a relationship. However, if staying is unsafe, allowing that feeling of sadness to cause you to stay is not wise. Sometimes, we just need to be reminded that we deserve relationships that are mutually respectful and safe. ❤️
#Feelings #Fear #Forgiveness #NoContact #AccessDenied #Boundaries #MentalHealth #MentalHealthAwareness #SelfLove #BlackMastodon #Spirituality #Religion #Culture #HumanRights #SelfPreservation #RadicalSelfCare #SelfCare #Forgive #YouTube #Unapologetic #Love #Mindfulness #Healing #Anxiety #Depression #Balance #Relationships #EmotionalAbuse #Manipulation #Narcissism #Gaslighting
Because it’s important to never lose yourself inside of the expectations and limitations of others, here is something to reflect on today:
“If I didn't define myself for myself, I would be crunched into other people's fantasies for me and eaten alive” -Audre Lorde
#SelfCare #SelfLove #SelfAwareness #Healing #MentalHealthAwareness #Love #Peace #Individual #AudreLorde #Individuality #ProtectYourEnergy #DefineYourself #ProtectYourPeace #BlackMastodon #EmotionalAbuse #TraumaBonds #Trauma #YouTube #LifeCoach #Joy #Freedom #Truth #Light #HumanRights Mindfulness #FamilyTies #BlackSheep #Divorce #Family #Autonomy #SelfCareSunday #SilentSunday #Radicalselfcare #Boundaries #Depression #Anxiety #Voice #Question #KnowYourWorth
Many are quick to try to tie forgiveness to restoration (restored access to you). They will tell you that you have not forgiven someone if you cut them off. My latest YouTube video explores the difference between forgiveness and restoration and how the idea that the two are inextricably intertwined can actually put victims in harm’s way. It’s OK to go no contact or cut people off, even if you make the decision to forgive. #Forgiveness #NoContact #AccessDenied #Boundaries #MentalHealth #MentalHealthAwareness #SelfLove #BlackMastodon #Spirituality #Religion #Culture #HumanRights #SelfPreservation #RadicalSelfCare #SelfCare #Forgive #YouTube #Unapologetic #Love #Mindfulness #Healing #Anxiety #Depression #Balance #Relationships
“Learning is finding out what you already know. Doing is demonstrating that you know it. Teaching is reminding others that they know just as well as you. You are all learners, doers, teachers.” ― Richard Bach, Illusions
"Boundaries and Beliefs - Be Better" new blog post:
https://livingtheemersonrule.com/boundaries-and-beliefs-be-better/
#boundaries #beliefs #emotionallabor #rosehackman #empathy #awareness #learning #amwriting
Was about to start on some more podcast work, but then I noticed the clock. I am abiding by my now-work-after-8pm rule! Witness me! #boundaries #SelfCare
Rest in Peace , Anna Mae Bullock aka Tina Turner. She was one of the best selling artists of all time and one of the architects of soul, rock, pop, and so much more. She has been called the Queen of Rock ‘n’ Roll and was inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Tina’s powerful and provocative voice was only matched by her energetic and awe-inspiring dancing. She was a magnificent force in the world of music and other areas of the arts. She rose from poverty and abuse and lived proudly through her artistry. What an inspiration! She was the embodiment of #voicepower. #Overcomer #AbuseSurvivor #Queen #BlackMastodon #Rock #Soul #Pop #SelfCare #Boundaries #Artist #DomesticViolence #Legend #ShowUpForYourself #Live #Sing #Create #Power #Abuse #BlackWomen #Women #MentalHealth #MentalHealthAwareness #Wellness #Mindfulness #Peace #Humanity #RadicalSelfCare
“My #retirement is not an end, but a new #beginning. It is a chance to devote myself to endeavors that transcend personal gain and benefit of #humanity at large. Through #strategic #philanthropy, I aspire to tackle pressing issues, support #meaningful causes, and #empower those in need, leaving a lasting #legacy that extends far beyond the #boundaries of #business #success.”
While I do facilitate a large local #trans group (organization?), I have to constantly remind myself that it can't be the bulk of my social life.
It's hard realizing that you need to set stronger #boundaries with something you founded, but a lot of trans people have mental health problems and are hurting a lot of the time, or are just very online, and it's easy to let that become my world.
Reading about the practice of #silence lately; I need to nourish myself with that much more. 🙏
@curlycomedy So true! I remember talking with a woman who complained that "cats are affectionate, sure, but always on their own terms" - as if that's somehow a bad thing. #Cats are really good at teaching #consent and navigating #boundaries. I wish more people were paying attention.
I am probably going to make this a thread (and yeah, ppl keep saying I need a tiktok or simular but voice dysphoria sucks)
introducing - words that need to die
1. Ghosting
ghosting is not a thing. No is a complete sentence. Someone ends communication in a way you don't like - that's called a boundary
no one owes you closure, a message, a goodbye
accusing people of ghosting is saying you don't respect their "no"
#ghosting #consent #boundaries
I'm having a productive week for blogging #localgovernment #boundaries https://garethdavies.medium.com/boundaries-54916542d605
I've figured out that part of why it's taking me so long to recover from my breakdown is because of how much emotional work I've been doing trying to keep my partner from breakdown.
I've tried to counter the messages he's gotten as a man about mental health, but I am one voice against patriarchy and the voices in his head.
I see I have been holding him aloft, when what I need is for him to swim too. #Boundaries.
Thank you to the strangers who started me thinking about this. 💜
🎶 Boundaries!
When the feeling's wrong and you'd rather not, it's
#Boundaries! 🎶
(Original: https://eldritch.cafe/@Cassandra/109871485801463410)
I'm having a productive week for blogging #localgovernment #boundaries https://garethdavies.medium.com/boundaries-54916542d605
I'm occasionally going to share paid substack posts for free in order to share ones i'm particularly proud of (and also for advertising, let's be real). This one is about how empathy requires boundaries, and resilience, and what that means:
https://selfcarebackpack.substack.com/p/free-sneak-peek-empathy-boundaries
@terrygrundy @bryankam
3/3
...
"Once is philosophy, twice is perversion."
Hence the licence for all philosophers to try anything once.
You would not allow someone to walk into your home, sling all of your stuff around, and walk away leaving your house wrecked. By the same token, don’t allow people to access your peace, disrupt it, then walk away leaving you in shambles. #Boundaries #ProtectYourPeace #MentalHealthAwareness #MentalHealthMatters #MentalHealth #Narcissism #BlackMastodon #EmotionalAbuse #Survivor #Peace #SelfLove #RadicalSelfCare #SelfCare #GetOut #ProtectYourEnergy #YouDeserveBetter #Dark #Light #Joy #Happiness #Balance #Energy #Healing #Whole
Often I feel so trapped inside this (parent) life.
Of course I grew and constantly grow because of these challenges, but I am not sure if I had really needed this in my personal development.
Most of the time I do not want this - the constant transgression of my personal boundaries.
This is the boundary setting to which I aspire.
Mothers day/Mothering Sunday can be hard for a number of reasons (a unique one was when the Torygraph decided I wanted to ban the term mother!) Here I write about boundaries and planning that can help if its a hard day https://counsellinginnorthumberland.com/2015/03/10/surviving-mothers-day/ #mothersday #MotheringSunday #Boundaries #selfcare #therapy #TherapistsOfMastodon #therapistsconnect
Fed up and burnt out: ‘quiet quitting’ hits academia
Many researchers dislike the term, but the practice of dialling back unrewarded duties is gaining traction.
#Boundaries around work have saved me. I have taken work emails off phone. When I finish for the day, I am done. I schedule meetings around caregiving responsibilities. I'm still busy and excited to cut back further but I'm less stressed.
#HigherEd #AcademicParent #PhDLife #AcademicWriting #Academia
Next customer to touch me for any reason is either getting their head put through the window or everyone in the restaurant will hear me yell about it, even the dishwasher all the way in the back.
People need to fucking learn to not touch anyone, especially strangers, without explicit consent.
Thread 1/?
“We can disagree and still love each other unless your disagreement is rooted in my oppression and denial of my humanity and right to exist.”-James Baldwin. Sometimes you need to remind folks that there are levels and limits.
#SilentSunday #SelfCareSunday #SelfCare #SocialMedia #BlackMastodon #Rest #Reflection #Perspective #RadicalSelfCare #Boundaries #MentalHealth #Connection #HumanRights #Relationships #Humanity #Love #SelfLove #JamesBaldwin
I don't understand people who use their appt time w/ me to insult & bash doctors. Over 3 years into this pandemic, I have no more effs. Most recent guy who did this, I put up my hand ✋"Stop. I'm not going to listen to you abuse me." His chin dropped to the floor. He apologized. #boundaries #MedMastodon
As a #vanilla person, I'm amazed and impressed by the #BDSM community's commitment to educating people about #negotiation, #boundaries, and #consent.
I wish we could all start receiving a good #education about consent in an appropriate way at an early age.
"The FRIES Model of Consent & BDSM"
YouTube https://youtu.be/UP2pKAc4aT8
A few years ago I would have been terrified to send a message like the one below. I also think a few years ago others would have been less receptive/supportive. I’m glad that’s changed
“I work part time and try not to check epic on Fridays since I’m the only oncologist out here it can get overwhelming and setting that boundary helps me persist out here”
#MedMastodon #SelfCare #RuralMedIcine #Boundaries #PreventBurnout
I no longer feel qualified to recommend them. It's been a while since I reread Iris Murdoch's novels. The #nonconsensual #PowerDynamics (i.e., #dominant and #submissive) she apparently thought were fascinating and enjoyable are too much for me. However, your mileage may vary.
@bookstodon
#IrisMurdoch
#trope
#LiteraryTropes
#consent
#negotiation
#boundaries
#YMMV
What is the point of all this walking? Perhaps because as I wander along these 🇨🇭🇫🇷 now-peaceful lines, exploring home, I can keep in mind other times and other places where boundary lines are still lethal. People kill and die for territories and imaginary lines only a few hours away. My local landscapes are now quiet but the sound of gunfire and strife, wounded bodies, fear and death cling to borderlines.
#BorderWalk #Boundaries #Borders #geography #peace #StandWithUkaine
One of the hardest things in life is realizing your loyalty to a person or organization is one-sided. If you feel you were loyal and got played, what role did you play? Often, one-sided loyalty is rooted in people-pleasing, low self-worth, etc. There’s nothing wrong with being loyal. The problem is toxic patterns where you are always left feeling victimized. What can you change? #Loyalty #Boundaries #BlackMastodon #Codependency #SelfCare #MentalHealth #Relationships #Balance #RadicalSelfCare
#JoinIn Just a reminder: You are actually NOT obligated or required in any way to visit/meet/or stay around people who don't truly love and respect you. No matter what day it is. #Boundaries
I like this picture of me! Normally, I feel awkward taking pics. This thumbnail was generated by my latest YouTube video. I see my light here. I think it was taken when I said, “I love you, even if I don’t like you.” I went on to clarify and say that I am very #JamesBaldwin-esque in my dealings with people: We can agree to disagree, unless your belief is rooted in a perspective that oppresses me or those who look like me. #RadicalSelfCare #BlackMastodon #SelfLove #Boundaries #SelfCare #YouTube
I'm not sure where I first heard the term "energy vampires," but thinking today about how identifying them has helped keep me level. If you plan ahead for them, you can preserve your energy. The "garlic" to protect yourself = firm boundaries.
This is also helping me get through the holiday season. So for anyone who needs to hear it today, this is your reminder, hold onto your boundaries! Don't let the energy vampires past them.
#EnergyVampires #boundaries #MentalHealth #SelfCare #Holidays
When someone asks you, “May I have a moment of your time?”, replace the word ‘time’ with the word ‘life’. “May I have a moment of your life?” Whew! That should remind you of how precious your time is. It should help you to be more reverent of what it means to waste time. It should help you leave toxic relationships sooner. Hopefully, it will help you say no with less guilt. I practice this often and it has made all the difference. #RadicalSelfCare #Guilt #SelfCare #Boundaries #Wisdom #Reminder
"From simple to strange,
from explainy to distracting
these ideas of how to say no to unwanted hugs
might be good to practice,
"For adults, kids, teenagers--anyone.
"It can be fun to say no!
"Your body is yours."
Looking for advice for family holiday visit to my fundamentalist parents.
How do you set good boundaries with your *very* not like-minded parents
to protect your trans kids from their probing questions about appearance/presentation and dating life?
#LGBTQfamilies #transmastadon #boundaries #HolidayStress
I started a new #job in #tech in early October.
I have yet to download my #work email or slack to my phone.
I haven't missed anything.
It was really important to me to set #boundaries going into this #remotefirst #allremote #tech role. When I am at my computer, I am focused on work. When I am away from my computer I am focused on #life.
I still work 40+ hours a week. But I am less #stressed, more #productive and more #present.
@RosethornRangerTTV @Gtmlosangeles @actuallyautistic
Yep. It can be a survival skill. I *really* don’t like how it feels when I lie but I do it sometimes. I recently lied to protect my spoons, to avoid slipping deeper into burnout, by making up a truth-adjacent reason why I was unavailable to give my time. I said I was out of town, which I wasn’t, but I *was* on a self care staycation in the city where we both live.
I normally just don’t give a reason when saying no (#boundaries), but this was to a family member, so I wanted to protect their feelings. My #ActuallyAutistic brain is often very literal (about factual things), so I categorized it as a lie, and it bothered me a lot. My therapist suggested that I could think of it as a different sort of truth that was relevant to the situation. She pointed out that a lot of parents lie to their kids about Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy, etc., because it’s *appropriate to the [child’s developmental stage] at the time*. Do those ‘count’ as lies? Still trying to figure out how I feel about it.
Pay attention to how folks respond when you decide to honor your boundaries. I have a YouTube video where I go in-depth about why some people get so bent out of shape when you decide to show up for yourself. I invite you to watch here:
https://youtu.be/2DR6TaVyx9w
A bouquet of flowers, but only for the people I was mutuals with on Twitter whom I found and followed on Mastodon and looked forward to hanging out with in here and they have chosen not to follow me back. That's genuine. I respect that.
I'm a former librarian who left the #library for a job with better #boundaries. I enjoy #reading, mostly #romance (especially #queer / #lgbtq+ and #ownvoices #autistic storylines), but also #SelfHelp and narrative #nonfiction.
I'm here for #community, #conversation, and #divesting from corporate interests. And maybe writing some #bookreviews or short #fiction. Plus, connecting with other #ActuallyAutistic folks. Also, #gifs, #memes, and general #tomfoolery. Catch ya on the #feed
Hi folks! An #introduction: I'm a sociologist based in north-eastern Scotland and my research focuses on #memorystudies, #memorialisation, #remembrance, #narratives, and #visualart in #WANA. Broader themes include #borders, #boundaries, #edgelands, #genderstudies, #culturalstudies, #memorywork, #landscapes, narratives (including #poetry, #photography, and #literature) about #land and #nature, #embodiment, #movement, #ruins, and #heritage. For more, pop over to 👉 https://www.abdn.ac.uk/socsci/profiles/k.luisa.gandolfo
This is by way of #introduction. I also help #academics #LeavingAcademia to recover, & find #compassion for themselves so they can enter #altAc work with #boundaries intact, less #stress & more #confidence. I'm a #coach.
I love tuning into #embodied awareness and #InnerWisdom. My ways of doing that are #dancing #yoga #activism & #purpose work.
I have a free masterclass on Transition from Academia.
And I just made a #CV to #resume conversion template. Lmk if you want it!
#AcademicChatter