Masthash

#Humour

53 minutes ago

Generally, many people want to sing kumbaya around a campfire whilst deluding themselves that the campfire's smoke emissions aren't toxic.

However, for those that are aware that the #ClimateCrisis is now inevitable (it is already happening - depending on location), The Post Carbon Institutes Crazy Town podcast is a more sane analysis of all things climate-related

Crazy Town: Episode 75. How to Lose Friends and Demoralize People: The #Science (sic!) of Near-Term #Extinction https://www.resilience.org/stories/2023-05-31/crazy-town-episode-75-near-term-extinction/.

The photograph is of some crazy-looking clever guy called Einstein, who apparently said "Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results".

Of course, within the context of reducing greenhouse gas emissions, most people (of the world) aren't expecting different results - they're simply either being forced (e.g., gotta pay the rent) or choosing to take part in work and recreational activities that are emitting greenhouse gas emissions.

One thing is for sure, #business as usual is friggin crazy considering the consequences.

#climate #ClimateHeating #ClimateChange #humour #psychology #sustainability #technology #physics #ecology

A photograph of some crazy-looking clever guy who apparently said "Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results".
Mark A. Rayner
4 hours ago

When even your coffee is horrified by how early you had to get up.

#coffee #mondaymornings #monday #humor #humour #funny

cup of espresso in which the bubbles look like a face with a horrified expression

📖 Have a nice day…

📨 Fun photos of animals, pets, dogs, wildlife I collected over the years. Hoping that looking at them will help you have a nice day or brighten it if needed.

[...]
https://www.didiermary.fr/have-nice-day-wildlife-photography/?mtm_campaign=AutoPost&mtm_kwd=DirectWWW&mtm_source=Mastodon

#️⃣ #Photo #Chiens #dogs #FishEye #Humour #Ours #Bear #Photographie #PhotographieNB

4 photos of a doberman doing fun faces, as if shot in a photobooth
Joanne Fisher
4 hours ago
Top text: This is how English can easily kill you.

Photo of a sign by a body of water that says:  

CROCODILES
DO NOT SWIM HERE

Head to our YouTube channel if you like a bit of #skitcom . Is it any good? Not for me to say. I just enjoyed #writing and recording it. #audio #podcasting #humour #humor #comedy #comedyuk #ListenUp https://youtube.com/@brilcast

𝕯𝖎𝖒𝖎
6 hours ago

This is 2023 for you... #tech #meme #humour #apple

A picture of someone wearing the Apple glasses with the text 90s: dont sit too close to the tv - 2023:
𝕯𝖎𝖒𝖎
7 hours ago

Theory: the Time Masheen #history #museum from #Idiocracy is the result of #ChatGPT and #GenAI hallucinating on its own content for 500 years. #movie #humour #AI

A still from the movie Idiocracy, where two dinosaurs, one with a nazi flag and the other one with an US flag are fighting
A still of the Idiocracy movie with the sign for the museum as Time Masheen
Joanne Fisher
11 hours ago
Top text: Dear God, what now?

Photo of a wheat field with two shark fins appearing above the wheat. One is in the foreground and the other is further back.
John Chapman
17 hours ago

Some time ago in 2021 NASA's Dart mission fired an object at an asteroid in an attempt to change its orbit. The mission was successful, the orbit was changed. Recently the James web telescope took pictures of the impact site though.
#Dart #NASA #Humour

Asteroid impact site picture has a strange Wile E. Coyote outline
Mark Tillotson
21 hours ago

Science called.

Bad news.

The earth doesn't revolve around you.

😂

#Humor #Meme #Joke #Jokes
#Funny #Humour #LOL
#ScienceJokes #DadJokes

My Truth

I stepped up
onto
my soapbox
but others were
higher
louder
better
than me,
so I farted.

I couldn't
get them to
listen,
but they had to
smell
my truth.

#Mastoprompt #Poetry #speech #humour #humor

📰 @guardian headline causes "Ewwww"-trauma in some readers who visualize what a "Trump-shaped hole" is, then realize they can never unsee it.

#humour #humor #Headlines #GOP #USPolitics #Trump #DeSantis #Pence

screenshot of Guardine headline and subhead.

Roast and Ride: Republican primary reves up with bikers, BBQs and a Trump-shaped hole.

Aspirants including Ron DeSantis and Mike Pence rally the crows but none mention the ex-president by name, giving the impression of a party in denial.
PixiePancake
23 hours ago

I’d still eat it.

#Funny #Fun #Humor #LOL #Humour #Cat #Cats

A cat is nestled directly on top of a piece of pizza in a pizza box. The majority of the pizza is gone, but there are a few slices left.
PixiePancake
23 hours ago

Jeremy’s interest in textiles was clearly misunderstood.

#Funny #Fun #Humor #LOL #Humour #Dog #Dogs

Two dogs are side by side on the back of the couch with one staring out the window between the curtains and the other staring directly at the curtains themselves. The poster says:, One of our dogs is clearly smarter than the other.

Very British Signage - The Pub (Part II)
h/t #NoContextBrits #UK #Humour #ThePub

Chalkboard at a pub reads
NO
We do not hav
WIFI ...
Talk to each other
Pretend it's 1995!

Very British Signage - The Pub
h/t #NoContextBrits #UK #Humour #ThePub

Gateleg board outside the Hall & Woodhouse bar reads:
Well behaved children welcome
The rest will be made into pies

The English in summer. Care of #NoContextBrits
#Summer #England #Humour

A man sitting on a deck chair in the middle of the road, reading.  He is in shorts and no shirt, wearing a rainbow umbrella hat.  At his feet is a beach ball and a small pile of sand.
Caron
1 day ago

Jen loved her new designer handbag. It was the perfect size to carry her shield. #vintagestyle #art #humour

Maria Karlsen
1 day ago
One good thing about getting older. If I'm not happy about how I look, all I need to do is to remove my glasses before looking in the mirror.

Beats makeup every time.

#life #humour
Mark A. Rayner
2 days ago
a blurry photo of a cat shot from below, with human figures far up above in various positions -- almost like the cat is taking a selfie
Mark Tillotson
2 days ago
Screenshot of a text exchange between two people:

1: Hey what are you up to?

2: Just finished Masterbating. It makes me feel so relaxed so I can go to sleep easier.

1: Awkward.

2: Shit. I meant menstruating

1: Not any less awkward.

2: OMFG I meant meditating! What is wrong with this phone.
PixiePancake
2 days ago

Me after three martinis.

#Funny #Fun #Humor #LOL #Humour #Cat #Cats

A cat stands in a decorative, ceramic centerpiece on a dining table stretching in peculiar grace toward the ceiling. The poster says: Cat Still Life
PixiePancake
2 days ago

It’s not hoarding if you can bap it.

#Funny #Fun #Humor #LOL #Humour #Cat #Cats

A cat looks up at its owner with humble distress. In front of the cat, on the kitchen floor, is quite the stash of plastic bottle caps and miscellaneous bapable debris. The poster says: My cat’s face when I found one of her hoarding stashes.
Mark A. Rayner
2 days ago

Even the big guys like to have a good time on #caturday.

#cat #cats #catstodon #catsofmastodon #tiger #tigers #animals #humor #humour #funny

tiger with its eyes closed and its tongue sticking out
Zampedigallina Comics
2 days ago

Il dubbio è amletico, ma non chiedete a me di risolverlo, sono solo un vignettista dilettante. #humour #cartoons #vignette #umorismo #mercato #disegno

The Hedonist
2 days ago

#Humour That's me! 😈

Mark Tillotson
2 days ago

Him: I bet you like arguing pedantic semantics.

Me:

Me: That’s not *precisely* correct.

#Humor #Meme #Joke #Jokes
#Funny #Humour #LOL #DadJokes

𝕯𝖎𝖒𝖎
2 days ago

Be cautious when walking in the fields to not step on a cow egg.

#humour #meme #egg cc: @humour

For those of you who have always lived in the city and have never set foot on a farm, these are what cow eggs look like. 

With a picture of two very large eggs.
𝕯𝖎𝖒𝖎
2 days ago

Well, that explains a lot...

#movie #healthcare #meme #humour

cc: @humor

A screenshot of a tweet that reads: Christine Nangle @nanglish One thing they teach in nursing school is when your patient is being questioned by police, to step in with “that’s enough for today, he needs to rest” right after he gives a key piece of information, but one sentence short of him telling the whole story.
Caron
2 days ago

Got my ducks all in a row. Actually they're gulls. Is that okay?
#seabirds #humour #beach

Abysmal Therapy
"They're not just staring at me.
They're staring INTO me."

#Funnies
#Humour
#Humor

Drawing of an abyss sitting on a therapy couch with a therapist taking notes off to the right. The abyss is saying, “They’re not just staring at me. They’re staring into me.”

Child Protective Services: So you’re all living in this yellow submarine?

#Funnies
#Humour
#Humor

Crappy drawing of a submarine with three peep holes on the side and the caption “WaterBnB”.
𝕯𝖎𝖒𝖎
3 days ago

This seems completely impractical, but I somehow kinda want one...

#meme #humour #StarTrek @allstartrek

À coffee mug in the shape of a borg cube.
PixiePancake
3 days ago

It’s almost the weekend. Hold on.

#Funny #Fun #Humor #LOL #Humour #Weekend

A picture of a cardboard box with the instruction: Do Not Break Down, and the caption, “I’m trying box. I’m trying.”
PixiePancake
3 days ago

You are what you eat.

#Funny #Fun #Humor #LOL #Humour

Post from a site called Please Fire Me: A lady came in screaming and ranting about how we wrote an obscene insult on her sandwich. Turns out, she ordered a BLT with cheese. We wrote “Blt +ch on it. It took me and a manager 15 minutes just to calm her down enough to even listen to us.
Response: Sounds like she was a real BLT with cheese.

Very British Headlines - Entertainment
#UK #Humour #KidsToday #NoContextBrits

A picture of the rof of a red car with a portion of chips on the roof.  Headline reads "Deranged hooligans have thrown chips on car roof"
Pronoia
3 days ago

I'd give this due credit, but fuck knows where it came from beyond my own squirrely archives 🤷‍♂️

(P.S. should "squirrely" have one or two L's?)

#creative #writing #editing #fiction #humor #funny #humour #haha

Joanne Fisher
3 days ago

It should say: How To Make A Dramatic Entrance. #StarWars #obiwankenobi #humour #revengeofthesith

Heading: How To Make A Dramatic Entrance: A Tutorial by Obi-Wan Kenobi

Four photos arranged in a square. Images from Revenge of the Sith (2005)

Top left pic: Obi-Wan Kenobi removing his cloak. Text: First the cloak

Top right pic: Obi-Wan Kenobi standing there with his cloak at his feet. Text: Do it like that.

Bottom left pic: Obi-Wan Kenobi standing there.  Text: And don't forget the most important part

Bottom right pic: Obi-Wan Kenobi bends his right leg slightly. Text: The leg, that's what they want.
𝕯𝖎𝖒𝖎
3 days ago

I think I would not be mad either :)

🐶
#Doggo #meme #humour

À dog with a pizza in its mouth, and the words "our pizza delivery guy took more than 30 minutes but I think I can forgive him"
Adam
3 days ago

Y2K, the joys of computers 😄

Circa 2000

#ThrowbackThursday #tbt #comics #humour #humor #funny

A comic strip called Glitch! talking about year 2000 computer date problem.
Coralie Mercier
4 days ago

Allez on démarre le mois des fiertés avec une chronique #humour politique étrangère par Aymeric Lompret, sur la loi anti-homosexualité 2023 en Ouganda.

https://www.radiofrance.fr/franceinter/podcasts/la-chronique-d-aymeric-lompret/la-chronique-d-aymeric-lompret-du-jeudi-01-juin-2023-2077818

#pridemonth #AymericLompret

Coralie Mercier
4 days ago

Je recommande vivement le spectacle de #WalyDia "Ensemble ou rien" ! (Juin 2022)

https://www.primevideo.com/region/eu/detail/Waly-Dia-Ensemble-ou-rien/0JP5HMXDVKAOPEU9RJJ9GOGBE1

J'écoute religieusement toutes ses chroniques #humour sur France Inter depuis quelques années et je suis fan de son mordant, son éloquence, ses messages. Sur scène c'est différent, mais c'est super !

Pour les abonnés Amazon Prime c'est inclus, ou bien Prime Video est gratos 30 jours (mais faut être disposé à laisser toutes vos informations de paiement.)

PixiePancake
4 days ago

The second you realize that you’ve worn the wrong outfit to the baby shower.

#Funny #Fun #Humor #LOL #Humour #Fashion

Jared Leto at a celebrity event wearing a full length, red, robe/dress that is draped in strings of crystals and hanging jeweled pendants, and he is carrying a realistic replica of his own severed human head.
PixiePancake
4 days ago

What makes you think that I’m an introvert?

#Funny #Fun #LOL #Humor #Humour #Dog #Dogs #Introvert

A dog inside a large, soft shirt that swamps him. Only his snout is visible sticking out of a sleeve.,

Very British Signage - The Underground
#London #Humour #Wasps #Ghosts #Zombies

Sign on the wall of a London Underground station.
Emergency Stairs
Only use in case of fire, ghosts, wasps, biblical floods, zombie attacks or Piers Morgan.

Ever had one of those "I just cannot be arsed" days at work? Are you a BBC subtitler?
#Humour #Teletubbies #Subtitles #NoContextBrits

Picture of two teletubbies going to bed. One is lying down with eyes closed, another is waving to the first one to say goodnight.  Subtitle reads "night night Dipshit" (one of the Teletubbies is called Dipsy)

Paul's become disconnected from the natural world.
#Purrsday #Humour #CatsOfMastodon #Badger

Handmade notice with a picture of a badger.  Heading reads: CAT FOUND
Beneath the photo are the following points:
black with white patches
very aggressive (I think he is scared)
not house trained
no collar or name tag
found in my back garden
If this is your cat please call paul on ...
Joanne Fisher
4 days ago
Cartoon with a full moon and a werewolf. Above is a frog wearing a witches hat and riding a broom.

Text: During full moon werewolves start to come out.

The werewolf is saying: "I'm gay"
Julia S.
5 days ago

THE GLORIOUS MUSE OF CRANKINESS, Samantha Irby, is back with a collection of pieces that range from grumpy hilarity at the pitfalls of middle age to some raw, bittersweet looks at her complicated family. Cathartic, relatable, funny as hell. B PLUS

https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/690138/quietly-hostile-by-samantha-irby/

@bookstodon
#Books #book #bookreview #bookreviews #essay #essays #Humor #humour #nonfiction #genx

PixiePancake
5 days ago

Someone gets me.

#Funny #Fun #Humor #LOL #Humour

A posted street sign that has a sticker over the letter D in the word Danger.
The sign appears to read:
NO HORN
BLOWING
Except
For
Anger
PixiePancake
5 days ago

The day after Pippin’s owner taunted him with bacon and eggs while serving him kibble, Pippin snapped. Charges are pending.
#Funny #Fun #Humor #LOL #Humour #Cat #Cats

A cat is sitting at a kitchen table with a dinner plate and coffee mug. There is a meager amount of kibble on its plate. The cat is staring across the table with a look of anxious disbelief.

Why does this thing exist? (Podcast)

Episode 47: “Piu, Piu, Piu”

https://shows.acast.com/why-does-this-thing-exist-podcast/episodes/episode-47-piu-piu-piu

This week, our intrepid 'casters explore a severe misuse of LinkedIn, a radical approach to confectionary, and fix beauty pageants

You're welcome!

#Podcast #Humour #Chicken #LinkedIn

PixiePancake
6 days ago

When graphic design is your gift.

#Funny #Fun #Humor #LOL #Humour

A sign explaining what actions to take if you see a drowning. It says:
If you see someone 
DROWNING
lol
~
~
(The graphic “lol” and two wavy lines beneath are meant to convey a head and two arms raised in distress.)
Then
CALL 911
PixiePancake
1 week ago

No wonder I was straining.

#Funny #Fun #Humor #LOL #Humour #Dog #Dogs

A husky is comfortably ensconced in a toilet bowl looking placidly at its owner.
Mark A. Rayner
1 week ago

That went exactly as planned. Totally meant to do it.

#caturday #cats #cat #catstodon #catsofmastodon #goofball #funny #humour #humor

PixiePancake
1 week ago

It’s what’s inside that counts.

#Funny #Fun #LOL #Humor #Humour

A cartoon of a Russian nesting doll and a Trojan horse chatting over a candlelit table. They both simultaneously say: There’s something I have to tell you.
PixiePancake
1 week ago

The cloak of invisibility is complete.

#Funny #Fun #Humor #LOL #Humour #Cat #Cats

A cat is sitting up on a bathroom counter with its head in Kleenex box.
Mark A. Rayner
1 week ago

Helpful proofreading marks for that draft in need of just a bit more absurdity.

#writingcommunity #writing #books #book #proofreading #editing #humor #humour #funny #absurd #WIP

Chart of proofreader's Marks [some real some are doodles] - delete, set in italics, set in italy, preferably in rome, insert ellipsis, insert cyclopsis, wrong font, horribly wrong font, atn problem, insert colon, good grief!, add mustache, and a stetson hat, curl mustache, flying mustache, more drama, more hypnosis, insert space, write faster, got bored, played tic-tac-toe, word tornado. By Grant Snyder.
Mark A. Rayner
2 weeks ago

“In the beginning the Universe was created. This had made many people very angry and has been widely regarded as a bad move.”
― Douglas Adams

Happy Towel Day!

#towelday #towelday2023 #douglasadams #hhgttg #dontpanic #humor #humour #funny

Image that says: Don't Panic in red letters with yellow outline
PixiePancake
2 weeks ago

When you can’t decide who gets to keep the house.

#Funny #Humor #Fun #LOL #Humour #Cat #Cats

A woman and cat are sitting on a couch and are facing away from each other. They appear to be adversarial.
PixiePancake
2 weeks ago

When technical writing was your very last choice.
#Funny #Fun #Humor #LOL #Humour

In the top corner of IKEA like instructions is a funny “side step.” Side Step (reads): Make nachos. Optional, but recommended.
Mark A. Rayner
2 weeks ago

The work in progress is neither working nor progressing.

#cat #cats #catstodon #catsofmastodon #writing #writingcommunity #books #humor #humour #funny #wip

A really cute kitten with very pink beans and nose and a white belly, flopped on its back over a human arm trying to type on a keyboard
PixiePancake
2 weeks ago

We owe this entire generation a do over.

#Funny #Humor #LOL #Humour

Poster says: I closed my finger in a drawer and yelled, “Son of a bitch!” and my 6-year-old called from another room, “What is it? Is it Trump? What did he do?”
PixiePancake
2 weeks ago

When you can barely stand and an expert explains how easy pretzel pose is.

#Funny #Fun #Humor #LOL #Humour #Cat #Cats

A cat sleeping with its arms and legs above its head and its tail resting just below its mouth.
Soh Kam Yung
2 weeks ago

I learned that somebody made an SF-ish version of Simon & Garfunkel's "The Sound of Silence". It's called "The Sound of Cylons". 🙂

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iMUezhpuEoE

#Music #SimonAndGarfunkel #Songs #Humour

David Levine
2 weeks ago

Future new job title: "LLM Psychologist" #llm #llms #ai #humour #humor

Kids do the funniest things
h/t No Context Brits
#Humour #Kids
Night #Mastodon

Screengrab of a school test reads:
Activity 3 - brainstorm verbs.  What do you like to do with your friends and family?  Complete the sentences below with action verbs like "jump", "dive", "float" or "swim"
Four numbered sentences start with "I like to ...
The child in question has replied to all four with move it move it
Mark A. Rayner
3 weeks ago

Introducing the musical stylings of DJ Meow Mix.

#cat #cats #catstodon #catsofmastodon #humor #humour #DJ #turntable #music

PixiePancake
3 weeks ago
A cat is calmly sitting on a mantle above a shattered lamp and broken glass.
PixiePancake
3 weeks ago

We are absolutely not the dog gang you’re looking for.

#Funny #Fun #Humor #LOL #Humour #Dog #Dogs #Lineup

A group of dogs of different breeds are standing in a lineup beneath pictures of themselves.

Good to have it confirmed.
#Moon #Humour
Catch you later, #Mastodon

A road sign above a set of traffic lights saying "Moon" and pointing to the right.  The moon is actually directly adjacent to the sign.
PixiePancake
3 weeks ago

No, please, continue explaining actuarial tables.

#Funny #Fun #Humor #LOL #Humour #Cat #Cats

A cat with a “what is this hell I’m enduring expression.”