#JohnMastodon

This cocktail is the current favourite in the executive bar at Mastodon Towers. The barman calls it the Marlborough Ass Journey.

Fill a cocktail shaker with ice. Into this pour the juice of 2 onions. Add 3 measures of moonshine and 2 measures of brandy. Top up with Coca-Cola. Shake vigorously for 16 minutes, then strain into a champagne flute. Yeghes da!

Be grateful, for #JohnMastodon has spoken to you.

I wrote this haiku after meditating in my Zen garden:

A terrible beach
Cosier than the oak tree
Outside a girlfriend

This is #JohnMastodon, signing out.

@Gargron @zdfmagazin @ErikUden

Dank dem @eichkat3r wissen wir jetzt, dass @ErikUden niemand anderes ist, als #JohnMastodon 🙏

Gepriesen sei er, der Erlöser unserer IT Sorgen. Huldigen wir ihm und gedenken dem heiligen Router an jedem ersten #Zwonntag des Monats. Amen 🥲

I wrote this haiku in the shower this morning:

A smelly farmer
Shining like the mastodon
Inside a willow

Heed the words of #JohnMastodon.

please #johnmastodon add reactions emojis under messages that we can have fun with others #fediverse users ;__;

What if we were to use a dominatrix as a rope?

These are the words of #JohnMastodon.

I wrote this haiku just a moment ago:

The tax inspector
Growing like the eiderdown
Outside the podcast

Heed the words of #JohnMastodon.

Can you hear this? Want to follow ArtFED on SoundCloud?

Listen to Tango Tango Juliett #TTJ prelude by #ArtFED on #SoundCloud

https://on.soundcloud.com/R8RBc
#JohnMastodon #JonMastodon

That we are.
#Mastodon #JohnMastodon

@Amcr
#computing
#blackandwhite
#believeinfilm
#mastoart
#linux
#macrophotography
#johnmastodon
#landscapephotography
#knowledge
#freesoftware
#fediverse
#fosstodon
#ai
#mostodon
#fungi

Study these words carefully:

The elegant young lady washed her hat in the street.

#JohnMastodon has spoken.

@ErikUden @juergen

Er heißt hier aber nicht ErikUden, sondern John... #JohnMastodon

Actual footage of John Mastodon right now… #JohnMastodon

@Mastodon

John Mastodon always makes sure his platform has the latest tools.

Thank you John!!!!

#JohnMastodon

@millerntorpirat @NDR @tagesschau @dennishorn @gavinkarlmeier #JohnMastodon !

While tFg is occupied providing shovels to members of his cult like Sleazy BooBert & Traitor Cruz to dig deeper holes, the blue camp is actively enlisting the next generation of Gen Z foot soldiers to safeguard democracy from autocrats & dictators low-life Puty and MBS "Bonesaw."
Taylor Swift snags 35,000 new registered voters.
#JohnMastodon #IAmMastodon #TwitterExodus #TwitterRefugee #TwitterRIP #Fediverse #Artifact #Threads #BidenHarris2024 #VoteBlue #PresidentBiden
https://www.axios.com/2023/09/21/taylor-swift-registered-voters-2024-election

No one can determine the real size of the Fediverse...

#JohnMastodon

#
#JohnMastodon #IAmMastodon #TwitterExodus #TwitterRefugee #TwitterRIP #Fediverse #Artifact #Threads #BidenHarris2024 #VoteBlue #PresidentBiden #NimarataNikkiHaley #GOPClownShow #GOPDisaster

Need one of these dispatched to Mar-a-Lago Club ASAP. We need to take care of one big rat 🐀 there.
#JohnMastodon #IAmMastodon #TwitterExodus #TwitterRefugee #TwitterRIP #Fediverse #Artifact #Threads #BidenHarris2024 #VoteBlue #PresidentBiden #MarALago #Rats #NYC

https://themessenger.com/news/new-york-to-roll-out-pricey-highly-specialized-mesh-garbage-cans

Breaking News: Nimrata Nikki Haley has just outed President Biden, the most pro-union president in the history of the United States of America, as, wait for it: "The Most Pro-Union President."

Nimarata, you are indeed a genius.
Rather than pursuing the presidency, perhaps you should consider running for "Clown 🤡 of the Year."

#JohnMastodon #IAmMastodon #TwitterExodus #TwitterRefugee #TwitterRIP #Fediverse #Artifact #Threads #BidenHarris2024 #VoteBlue #PresidentBiden #NimarataFail

@fulelo
That'll be the final nail in its coffin. Somebody tell #JohnMastodon he'll need to be prepared for another influx.

John Mastodon doesn't follow trends. Trends follow John Mastodon. #JohnMastodon #Mastodon

I wrote this haiku while sitting on the toilet this morning:

Next to a painter
Twisting like the beekeeper
An old asteroid

These are the words of #JohnMastodon.

Study these words carefully:

Prince Charles washed his shoes in the swimming pool.

I am #JohnMastodon, and I will always be your friend.

This clip here ⬇️ should be on every MSM outlet every day until November 2024. A daily reminder of what the horrible NRA policies have transformed this beautiful country into.
#JohnMastodon #IAmMastodon #TwitterExodus #TwitterRefugee #TwitterRIP #Fediverse #Artifact #Threads #VoteBlue #Biden #AbolishTheNRA #NRA
https://www.threads.net/@feminist/post/CwgXOPbguYE/?igshid=OGQ5ZDc2ODk2ZA==

I’m Gary, Patron Saint of Geese. “Geese“ is short for: The poor, the huddled masses yearning to breathe free, and, the wretched refuse of that teeming shore.
#JohnMastodon #IAmMastodon #TwitterExodus #TwitterRefugee #TwitterRIP #Fediverse #Artifact #Threads #GaryPatronSaintOfGeese

Nur um das ein für alle Mal zu klären: So und nicht anders!

#johnwick #johnmastodon

Every morning, with my cup of coffee, I look forward to joining the Mastodonians in conversation.

#Mastodon #TwitterMigration #MastodonMigration #Patreon #JohnMastodon #DonateToMastodon #MastodonArt #Merchtodon

Chuck Norris stole his facts from #JohnMastodon 😉

https://www.espn.com/mma/story/_/id/38239284/chuck-norris-facts

#JohnMastodon doesn't need to gather his party before venturing forth.

I wrote this haiku after speaking to my emotional support stick insect:

The sweet prostitute
Shining like the warm salute
Next to a llama

These are the words of #JohnMastodon.

i wonder what #JohnMastodon is up to these days

Yo, where #JohnMastodon at? You see him, you tell him he better run me my money.

Breaking Tech News: Meta may launch a Threads web version early this week / A new report says Threads is getting one of users’ most requested features early this week.

https://www.theverge.com/2023/8/20/23839495/meta-threads-web-version-coming-this-week

#JohnMastodon #IAmMastodon #TwitterExodus #TwitterRefugee #TwitterRIP #Fediverse #Artifact #Threads #ThreadsWebVersion

So, Michelle Pfeiffer Posts Makeup-Free Selfie to Celebrate 3M Instagram Followers: ‘Thank You All for Hanging Out’. To which MTG (Marjorie Taylor Greene, the Representative from Georgia) had the following to say: I can do that too, you know ⬇️ ⬇️ ⬇️
https://www.livescience.com/archaeology/neanderthals-our-extinct-human-relatives

#JohnMastodon #IAmMastodon #TwitterExodus #TwitterRefugee #TwitterRIP #Fediverse #Artifact #Threads #VoteBlue #Biden #DarkBrandon #DarkJohnMastodon #Science #MTG #MarjorieTaylorGreene

@dangillmor

John Mastodon welcomes all scientists with open arms.

#JohnMastodon #Science

@rmi is that when Bruce Mastodon developed his alter-ego #JohnMastodon ?

when the new #fediverse folks ask who john mastodon is

#johnmastodon #spartacus #meme #mastodon

@mastodonusercount
💪 Rowing. #JohnMastodon

@randahl
A great community without the narcissism, and smart as a whip.

#JohnMastodon

I bumped into John Mastodon in town earlier today. Nice guy, wouldn’t hurt a fly, but I fear the fame has gone to his head. #JohnMastodon

The White House has announced they are putting President Biden’s name on infrastructure project signs after Republicans started taking credit for projects they voted against.

#JohnMastodon #IAmMastodon #TwitterExodus #TwitterRefugee #TwitterRIP #Fediverse #Artifact #Threads #VoteBlue #Biden #DarkBrandon

@Sheril

I am John Platybelodon

#Mastodon #JohnMastodon

I wrote this haiku after meditating in my Zen garden:

Inside the eyebrow
Failing to be a flannel
The whispering lamp

I am #JohnMastodon, and I will always be your friend.

#Mastodon #JohnMastodon >> :deadbird: > :mastodon: :night_ablobcat_wink:

https://mementomori.social/@rolle/110802113450938790
This is how you sign "Mastodon" in Finnish sign language. Kudos to my deaf wife @mustikkasoppa ❤️ #SignLanguage #FinnishSignLanguage #Viittomakieli

Veera signing the word "Mastodon" in Finnish Sign Language, it's like doing the "air elephant fangs" from your cheeks down with your both hands.

Barbie and the Fediverse aren't strangers! She actually worked very closely with John Mastodon on code development for the Fediverse.

Ken just played Frogger.

#littleknownfactsaboutbarbie
#HashtagGames
#JohnMastodon

@J12t #Threads engagement numbers are plummeting so hard that #BarackObama joining last night got a measly 2.2 Million Threads accounts to engage with him and follow him. That number is > the TOTAL number of daily active Mastodon users EVERYWHERE. #Threads is Massive. With time, it will be the biggest contributor to #Fediverse expansion.

#JohnMastodon #IAmMastodon #TwitterExodus #TwitterRefugee #TwitterRIP #Fediverse #Artifact #Threads

Odenplan, #stockholm #joinmastodon #johnmastodon #sweden

@lowqualityfacts each #JohnMastodon boost counts as a billion regular boosts

#JohnMastodon #Meme

ICYMI: Threads is working toward making Threads compatible with ActivityPub, which means it would work with apps like Mastodon and WordPress. Think of it like email: You can write to anyone with an email address, because it’s a decentralized system. 📧 More here:

https://www.threads.net/t/Cu2TLZHLvA4/?igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==

#JohnMastodon #IAmMastodon #TwitterExodus #TwitterRefugee #TwitterRIP #Fediverse #Artifact #Threads

When #JohnMastodon auditions new admins, he makes damn sure they can take the heat!

(Original image by #EarlNorem, from the front cover of #SavageSwordOfConan, #24, dated November 1977, published 6th September 1977.)

#Conan #Barbarian #Spider #Fantasy #Comics

@dec_hl tröten wie #JohnMastodon Anno Dunnemals :blobcatsunglasses:

Something odd is happening when you try and search the bird app for Threads links / A search for Threads content on the bird app currently brings up zero results, despite plenty of links to Meta’s microblogging rival being posted on the platform.

https://www.theverge.com/2023/7/11/23790834/twitter-search-for-threads-urls-broken-zero-results

#JohnMastodon #IAmMastodon #TwitterExodus #TwitterRefugee #TwitterRIP #Fediverse #Artifact #Threads

@beaveinflow We have neglected #JohnMastodon s shrine & his feminine, yin counterface #JoanMastodon our lack of faith is what caused threads I reckon.

Found this gem on my old instance.

Rare picture of the founder of #Mastodon.
John Masterdon.

#DoctorWho #JohnMastodon

On Threads, soon you will be able to follow and interact with people on other Fediverse platforms, like Mastodon. They can also find you with your full username @garygoosey5050@Threads.net

Here’s what I see on my profile at Threads:

#JohnMastodon #IAmMastodon #TwitterExodus #TwitterRefugee #TwitterRIP #Fediverse #Artifact #Threads

@mcc
🥥 WILL you be posting your opinions of #JohnMastodon, MCC? 🥥

@sixtus wenn sich zwei streiten freut sich #johnmastodon

so liebe Kinder, sowas haben wir früher zum Tröten benutzt ... erinnere mich noch an die selbstbeschriftete Diskette "Mastodon v0.3 Beta, by John Mastodon" (als wäre es gestern gewesen)
#ThrowbackThursday
#RückwurfDonnerstag
#JohnMastodon

@aral @atmanrising

Yeah, you're right. 😀

@johnmastodon@toot.community @johnmastodon@sevenscreens.net @JohnMastodonFacts @bp @johnmastodon@mastodon.world @johnmastodon@mas.to @JohnMastodon@mastodon.social
@jonielena @JoanMastodon

#JohnMastodon #joanMastodon #Mastodon
#MastoDoMastoDont

@Tweetfiction The only one who could ever teach me was a John of the Mastodon. The only one who could ever reach me was a John of the Mastodon. Yes he could, yes he could.

#JohnMastodon

NEWCOMERS SHOULD BE AWARE OF TWO THINGS:

1. #MOOSECOP IS A CRUCIAL PIECE OF FEDIVERSE LORE. HE IS A TACITURN LAWMAN WHO WALKS THE ANTLER PASS BEAT, FIGHTS SYRUP SMUGGLERS, AND HAS AN INDETERMINATE MIXTURE OF HUMAN AND MOOSE FEATURES. HE'S STILL A BASTARD. ONE DAY, HE'LL FIND THE HUNTER WHO SHOT HIS PARTNER, BEAR COP. IT'S NOT CLEAR YET WHETHER JUSTICE OR VENGEANCE WILL FOLLOW. THE DOOFUSES AT HULU HAVE RETURNED NONE OF OUR COLLECTIVE EMAILS.

2. #johnmastodon IS THE FICTIONAL FOUNDER AND GUARDIAN OF THE FEDIVERSE. HE IS EVERYTHING ELON MUSK WISHES HE WAS. THINK A SUPER-GENIUS PAUL BUNYAN MEETS CHUCK NORRIS JOKES WHO DOES EVERYTHING RIGHT AND HAS SOUND POLITICS.

S'up? Check dis out, bitches:

John Mastodon was pogoing in a public gym. A small boy wondered "How am I to comprehend a pumpkin?" John answered: "But that does not really exist. Mastodon is all that exists."

Heed the words of #JohnMastodon.

Look people, the important thing is that #JohnMastodon will one day return to judge the living and the dead, so y'all best get good with him.