Masthash

#JohnMastodon

John Mastodon :mastodon:
3 hours ago

This cocktail is the current favourite in the executive bar at Mastodon Towers. The barman calls it the Marlborough Ass Journey.

Fill a cocktail shaker with ice. Into this pour the juice of 2 onions. Add 3 measures of moonshine and 2 measures of brandy. Top up with Coca-Cola. Shake vigorously for 16 minutes, then strain into a champagne flute. Yeghes da!

Be grateful, for #JohnMastodon has spoken to you.

John Mastodon :mastodon:
10 hours ago

I wrote this haiku after meditating in my Zen garden:

A terrible beach
Cosier than the oak tree
Outside a girlfriend

This is #JohnMastodon, signing out.

Cab T. Hanks
10 hours ago

@Gargron @zdfmagazin @ErikUden

Dank dem @eichkat3r wissen wir jetzt, dass @ErikUden niemand anderes ist, als #JohnMastodon ๐Ÿ™

Gepriesen sei er, der Erlรถser unserer IT Sorgen. Huldigen wir ihm und gedenken dem heiligen Router an jedem ersten #Zwonntag des Monats. Amen ๐Ÿฅฒ

John Mastodon :mastodon:
16 hours ago

I wrote this haiku in the shower this morning:

A smelly farmer
Shining like the mastodon
Inside a willow

Heed the words of #JohnMastodon.

Sunseille :nook:
17 hours ago

please #johnmastodon add reactions emojis under messages that we can have fun with others #fediverse users ;__;

John Mastodon :mastodon:
23 hours ago

What if we were to use a dominatrix as a rope?

These are the words of #JohnMastodon.

John Mastodon :mastodon:
1 day ago

I wrote this haiku just a moment ago:

The tax inspector
Growing like the eiderdown
Outside the podcast

Heed the words of #JohnMastodon.

Sir Rochard 'Dock' Bunson
1 day ago

Can you hear this? Want to follow ArtFED on SoundCloud?

Listen to Tango Tango Juliett #TTJ prelude by #ArtFED on #SoundCloud

https://on.soundcloud.com/R8RBc
#JohnMastodon #JonMastodon

GOFLOWOLFOG cat in space with radical liberals skating
John Mastodon :mastodon:
2 days ago

Study these words carefully:

The elegant young lady washed her hat in the street.

#JohnMastodon has spoken.

Cab T. Hanks
3 days ago

@ErikUden @juergen

Er heiรŸt hier aber nicht ErikUden, sondern John... #JohnMastodon

Andy Piper
4 days ago

Actual footage of John Mastodon right nowโ€ฆ #JohnMastodon

flex GIF by happydog
artisanrox
4 days ago

@Mastodon

John Mastodon always makes sure his platform has the latest tools.

Thank you John!!!!

#JohnMastodon

While tFg is occupied providing shovels to members of his cult like Sleazy BooBert & Traitor Cruz to dig deeper holes, the blue camp is actively enlisting the next generation of Gen Z foot soldiers to safeguard democracy from autocrats & dictators low-life Puty and MBS "Bonesaw."
Taylor Swift snags 35,000 new registered voters.
#JohnMastodon #IAmMastodon #TwitterExodus #TwitterRefugee #TwitterRIP #Fediverse #Artifact #Threads #BidenHarris2024 #VoteBlue #PresidentBiden
https://www.axios.com/2023/09/21/taylor-swift-registered-voters-2024-election

No one can determine the real size of the Fediverse...

#JohnMastodon

Matrix Neo GIF

Breaking News: Nimrata Nikki Haley has just outed President Biden, the most pro-union president in the history of the United States of America, as, wait for it: "The Most Pro-Union President."

Nimarata, you are indeed a genius.
Rather than pursuing the presidency, perhaps you should consider running for "Clown ๐Ÿคก of the Year."

#JohnMastodon #IAmMastodon #TwitterExodus #TwitterRefugee #TwitterRIP #Fediverse #Artifact #Threads #BidenHarris2024 #VoteBlue #PresidentBiden #NimarataFail

@fulelo
That'll be the final nail in its coffin. Somebody tell #JohnMastodon he'll need to be prepared for another influx.

Jason Self
2 weeks ago

John Mastodon doesn't follow trends. Trends follow John Mastodon. #JohnMastodon #Mastodon

John Mastodon :mastodon:
2 weeks ago

I wrote this haiku while sitting on the toilet this morning:

Next to a painter
Twisting like the beekeeper
An old asteroid

These are the words of #JohnMastodon.

John Mastodon :mastodon:
3 weeks ago

Study these words carefully:

Prince Charles washed his shoes in the swimming pool.

I am #JohnMastodon, and I will always be your friend.

This clip here โฌ‡๏ธ should be on every MSM outlet every day until November 2024. A daily reminder of what the horrible NRA policies have transformed this beautiful country into.
#JohnMastodon #IAmMastodon #TwitterExodus #TwitterRefugee #TwitterRIP #Fediverse #Artifact #Threads #VoteBlue #Biden #AbolishTheNRA #NRA
https://www.threads.net/@feminist/post/CwgXOPbguYE/?igshid=OGQ5ZDc2ODk2ZA==

Iโ€™m Gary, Patron Saint of Geese. โ€œGeeseโ€œ is short for: The poor, the huddled masses yearning to breathe free, and, the wretched refuse of that teeming shore.
#JohnMastodon #IAmMastodon #TwitterExodus #TwitterRefugee #TwitterRIP #Fediverse #Artifact #Threads #GaryPatronSaintOfGeese

Nur um das ein fรผr alle Mal zu klรคren: So und nicht anders!

#johnwick #johnmastodon

Ein Filmplakat:

Keanu Reeves is ...
John Mastodon

They killed Twitter
They cut links his friends
They're going to regret it!
Shawn M. Jones, PhD
1 month ago

Every morning, with my cup of coffee, I look forward to joining the Mastodonians in conversation.

#Mastodon #TwitterMigration #MastodonMigration #Patreon #JohnMastodon #DonateToMastodon #MastodonArt #Merchtodon

The cartoon Mastodon mascot waves at you from a coffee cup.
A coffee cup showing cartoon mastodons fishing and frolicking in the forest on a clear day.
Sir Rochard 'Dock' Bunson
1 month ago
Screenshot of linked ESPN article.

How Chuck Norris Facts gave
birth to the modern meme
Chuck Norris was a karate legend, then an action star, and then..
memes. So many memes. This is the hilarious story of how
Chuck Norris Facts melted the internet in 2005 and how its
creator is now using Al to shake up the world in even bigger
ways. llustrations by Rafa Alvarez

#JohnMastodon doesn't need to gather his party before venturing forth.

John Mastodon :mastodon:
1 month ago

I wrote this haiku after speaking to my emotional support stick insect:

The sweet prostitute
Shining like the warm salute
Next to a llama

These are the words of #JohnMastodon.

Pippa ๐Ÿฉต
1 month ago

i wonder what #JohnMastodon is up to these days

Nadia Purge ๐ŸŽต
1 month ago

Yo, where #JohnMastodon at? You see him, you tell him he better run me my money.

Breaking Tech News: Meta may launch a Threads web version early this week / A new report says Threads is getting one of usersโ€™ most requested features early this week.

https://www.theverge.com/2023/8/20/23839495/meta-threads-web-version-coming-this-week

#JohnMastodon #IAmMastodon #TwitterExodus #TwitterRefugee #TwitterRIP #Fediverse #Artifact #Threads #ThreadsWebVersion

So, Michelle Pfeiffer Posts Makeup-Free Selfie to Celebrate 3M Instagram Followers: โ€˜Thank You All for Hanging Outโ€™. To which MTG (Marjorie Taylor Greene, the Representative from Georgia) had the following to say: I can do that too, you know โฌ‡๏ธ โฌ‡๏ธ โฌ‡๏ธ
https://www.livescience.com/archaeology/neanderthals-our-extinct-human-relatives

#JohnMastodon #IAmMastodon #TwitterExodus #TwitterRefugee #TwitterRIP #Fediverse #Artifact #Threads #VoteBlue #Biden #DarkBrandon #DarkJohnMastodon #Science #MTG #MarjorieTaylorGreene

@dangillmor

John Mastodon welcomes all scientists with open arms.

#JohnMastodon #Science

John Francis
1 month ago

@rmi is that when Bruce Mastodon developed his alter-ego #JohnMastodon ?

when the new #fediverse folks ask who john mastodon is

#johnmastodon #spartacus #meme #mastodon

a screenshot from the film Spartacus (1960) from the scene where everyone proclaims to be spartacus, with white impact text overlaid saying "I AM JOHN MASTODONโ€

@randahl
A great community without the narcissism, and smart as a whip.

#JohnMastodon

Matt
2 months ago

I bumped into John Mastodon in town earlier today. Nice guy, wouldnโ€™t hurt a fly, but I fear the fame has gone to his head. #JohnMastodon

The White House has announced they are putting President Bidenโ€™s name on infrastructure project signs after Republicans started taking credit for projects they voted against.

#JohnMastodon #IAmMastodon #TwitterExodus #TwitterRefugee #TwitterRIP #Fediverse #Artifact #Threads #VoteBlue #Biden #DarkBrandon

@Sheril

I am John Platybelodon

#Mastodon #JohnMastodon

John Mastodon :mastodon:
2 months ago

I wrote this haiku after meditating in my Zen garden:

Inside the eyebrow
Failing to be a flannel
The whispering lamp

I am #JohnMastodon, and I will always be your friend.

#Mastodon #JohnMastodon >> :deadbird: > :mastodon: :night_ablobcat_wink:

https://mementomori.social/@rolle/110802113450938790
This is how you sign "Mastodon" in Finnish sign language. Kudos to my deaf wife @mustikkasoppa โค๏ธ #SignLanguage #FinnishSignLanguage #Viittomakieli

Veera signing the word "Mastodon" in Finnish Sign Language, it's like doing the "air elephant fangs" from your cheeks down with your both hands.

artisanrox
2 months ago

Barbie and the Fediverse aren't strangers! She actually worked very closely with John Mastodon on code development for the Fediverse.

Ken just played Frogger.

#littleknownfactsaboutbarbie
#HashtagGames
#JohnMastodon

@J12t #Threads engagement numbers are plummeting so hard that #BarackObama joining last night got a measly 2.2 Million Threads accounts to engage with him and follow him. That number is > the TOTAL number of daily active Mastodon users EVERYWHERE. #Threads is Massive. With time, it will be the biggest contributor to #Fediverse expansion.

#JohnMastodon #IAmMastodon #TwitterExodus #TwitterRefugee #TwitterRIP #Fediverse #Artifact #Threads

John Francis
2 months ago

@lowqualityfacts each #JohnMastodon boost counts as a billion regular boosts

ICYMI: Threads is working toward making Threads compatible with ActivityPub, which means it would work with apps like Mastodon and WordPress. Think of it like email: You can write to anyone with an email address, because itโ€™s a decentralized system. ๐Ÿ“ง More here:

https://www.threads.net/t/Cu2TLZHLvA4/?igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==

#JohnMastodon #IAmMastodon #TwitterExodus #TwitterRefugee #TwitterRIP #Fediverse #Artifact #Threads

Alexander Hay
2 months ago

When #JohnMastodon auditions new admins, he makes damn sure they can take the heat!

(Original image by #EarlNorem, from the front cover of #SavageSwordOfConan, #24, dated November 1977, published 6th September 1977.)

#Conan #Barbarian #Spider #Fantasy #Comics

Conan The Barbarian, perhaps the only man to look good in a fringe, goes toe-to-toe with a giant spider, armed only with a bloody sword, boots and a furry loincloth. His belt has a scabbard and gold, curved dagger hanging off it.

In the background, and lying prone on the ground, a scantily clad blonde damsel gawps and cries out in terror, presumably because she's scared of spiders. Also, piles of treasure, which is probably part of the reason why everyone's favourite Cimmerian is on this quest in the first place. I mean, he's a good man deep down, but he's also not a fucking registered charity.

Behind all this, we see the outlines of an ancient vast hall and the top-heavy curved pillars that support it. And at the very back, a huge and majestic Elephant man watches Conan do his thing, with mighty hands cripping a beautifully carved stone throne. The mighty mastodon's tusks are tipped with barbels, no doubt because he doesn't want to put anyone's eyes out.

This is the front cover of Savage Sword of Conan, #24, which was published by Marvel Comics on 6th September 1977, though it is dated for November of that year, as was the practice in those days. Original art by Earl Norem, whose signature can be found just below Conan's clenched left fist.
Lรถhwe :tchncs:
2 months ago

@dec_hl trรถten wie #JohnMastodon Anno Dunnemals :blobcatsunglasses:

Something odd is happening when you try and search the bird app for Threads links / A search for Threads content on the bird app currently brings up zero results, despite plenty of links to Metaโ€™s microblogging rival being posted on the platform.

https://www.theverge.com/2023/7/11/23790834/twitter-search-for-threads-urls-broken-zero-results

#JohnMastodon #IAmMastodon #TwitterExodus #TwitterRefugee #TwitterRIP #Fediverse #Artifact #Threads

Tรถlva Prophetess Of Numbers
3 months ago

@beaveinflow We have neglected #JohnMastodon s shrine & his feminine, yin counterface #JoanMastodon our lack of faith is what caused threads I reckon.

Found this gem on my old instance.

Rare picture of the founder of #Mastodon.
John Masterdon.

#DoctorWho #JohnMastodon

Screenshot of my post from 2022. Itโ€™s a picture of The Master from Doctor Who, in disguise.

On Threads, soon you will be able to follow and interact with people on other Fediverse platforms, like Mastodon. They can also find you with your full username @garygoosey5050@Threads.net

Hereโ€™s what I see on my profile at Threads:

#JohnMastodon #IAmMastodon #TwitterExodus #TwitterRefugee #TwitterRIP #Fediverse #Artifact #Threads

@mcc
๐Ÿฅฅ WILL you be posting your opinions of #JohnMastodon, MCC? ๐Ÿฅฅ

el EL
3 months ago

@sixtus wenn sich zwei streiten freut sich #johnmastodon

Lรถhwe :tchncs:
3 months ago

so liebe Kinder, sowas haben wir frรผher zum Trรถten benutzt ... erinnere mich noch an die selbstbeschriftete Diskette "Mastodon v0.3 Beta, by John Mastodon" (als wรคre es gestern gewesen)
#ThrowbackThursday
#RรผckwurfDonnerstag
#JohnMastodon

ein Commodore Amiga 500 auf einen Computertisch, der Bildschirm zeigt das "Amiga Workbench 1.3" Logo. Links daneben steht ein Joystick, rechts liegen รผberall Disketten
kierkegaank
3 months ago

@Tweetfiction The only one who could ever teach me was a John of the Mastodon. The only one who could ever reach me was a John of the Mastodon. Yes he could, yes he could.

#JohnMastodon

LRRR :bc:
3 months ago

NEWCOMERS SHOULD BE AWARE OF TWO THINGS:

1. #MOOSECOP IS A CRUCIAL PIECE OF FEDIVERSE LORE. HE IS A TACITURN LAWMAN WHO WALKS THE ANTLER PASS BEAT, FIGHTS SYRUP SMUGGLERS, AND HAS AN INDETERMINATE MIXTURE OF HUMAN AND MOOSE FEATURES. HE'S STILL A BASTARD. ONE DAY, HE'LL FIND THE HUNTER WHO SHOT HIS PARTNER, BEAR COP. IT'S NOT CLEAR YET WHETHER JUSTICE OR VENGEANCE WILL FOLLOW. THE DOOFUSES AT HULU HAVE RETURNED NONE OF OUR COLLECTIVE EMAILS.

2. #johnmastodon IS THE FICTIONAL FOUNDER AND GUARDIAN OF THE FEDIVERSE. HE IS EVERYTHING ELON MUSK WISHES HE WAS. THINK A SUPER-GENIUS PAUL BUNYAN MEETS CHUCK NORRIS JOKES WHO DOES EVERYTHING RIGHT AND HAS SOUND POLITICS.

John Mastodon :mastodon:
3 months ago

S'up? Check dis out, bitches:

John Mastodon was pogoing in a public gym. A small boy wondered "How am I to comprehend a pumpkin?" John answered: "But that does not really exist. Mastodon is all that exists."

Heed the words of #JohnMastodon.

Look people, the important thing is that #JohnMastodon will one day return to judge the living and the dead, so y'all best get good with him.