#puns
My deepest gratitude goes out to the #Mastodon community, a #community that has literally improved the quality of my time on this spinning rock as it hurtles through space, towards a future that seems more uncertain every day. It’s unlike any other “social media platform” here.
Today I will quietly celebrate the fact that over four thousand people have chosen to follow along, chuckle at the #puns, groan at the #dadjokes, and comment on my random musings.
Big shoutout to my #Dgarhead followers who are listening to and boosting my songs! You are truly amazing people and my heart feels like it’s going to explode from my chest when I think about the amazing support and love you have given me in your toots and comments.
The reception from everyone has been wonderful acceptance, and my entire experience here has been truly humbling.
Massive big huge love to you all, and as always,
#Follow
#Boost
#Love
Jon.
The Dgar Project.
☝️😁🤘
❤️🧡💛💚💙💜

My bf plays music with my high school English teacher and just got a blob of sourdough starter from him. Bf is insisting I give the starter an Existentialism-related name but stared at me blankly when I said "Albert Kamut"
Hyperventilate
To use an excessively large and powerful fan to air out a very small space.
You know, the hashtags on here are so much better than on the other place
Even if it took me a good minute to realize what #Macadamia was (not the nuts, though academia will drive you nuts much if the time these days). Then there is #Mosstodon and #Asstodon, also very clever ones.
What other puns in hashtag land am I missing or unaware of?
" Introducing the 'fatigre' – a tiger in desperate need of a siesta! 🐯💤 Who knew big cats could get this tired? 😆 #Puns #TigerHumor "
It’s #FollowFriday and I #FollowBack so #Follow me for a #FridayFollow this #Friday.
If you have an #introduction toot pinned on your #Mastodon profile that you’d like boosted, #comment “IntroBoost” below, and I’ll give you a #boost to help you connect with the community.
If you #FollowMe you can expect #DadJokes, bad #puns, and original #IndieMusic so I look forward to connecting with you, and connecting you to a wider #community.
🫶

When she's out during the day she has SUCH a long face!


Marine science question:
Do lobsters get crabs?
if your reaction to someone’s bad news accidentally reveals that you think it’s kinda funny…
is that a schadenfreudian slip?
~ My partner Morgan, everyone
Did you hear about the elephants who want a pay raise? They’re tired of working for peanuts. #puns #familyGuy
Years ago, I had the idea to create a single-panel #comic featuring floating heads with "Mittens for Hands" (the name I settled on).
I have zero artistic talent and must have been either clinically-bored or feverish at the time.
But I could only think of three mitten jokes... and they were all pretty bad.
So... here they are... enjoy (or don't). :D



Sorry if urinalysis of my joke finds it lacking.
#dadJoke #pun #dadJokes #puns #funWithLanguage #originalJoke


Nor'Easter: a severe storm that prevents Peter Cottontail from making a great many of his holiday rounds.
#Easter #PeterCottontail #EasterEggs #EasterBunny #NorEaster #meteorology #storms #puns
If it doesn't already exist, there should be an insect-oriented Mastodon server called Frass.todon

I'm pleased to report this got a pretty good laugh from my undergrads during the lecture on color theory.
#rodstewart #colortheory #color #humor #humour #funny #pun #puns
Cat x Literature #5
German Authors Edition 💙
Get them as stickers:
https://ko-fi.com/s/4952aa6e8a
Or mini prints:
https://ko-fi.com/s/0ae002220e
I am draining homemade yogurt to make lebneh and my husband is letting the whey jokes fly.
He just brought me the bowl it's draining in and said, very solemnly, "This is the whey."
Cat x Literature #4
Gay Edition 🌈
Get them as stickers:
https://ko-fi.com/s/4952aa6e8a
Or mini prints:
https://ko-fi.com/s/0ae002220e
I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me. #puns
#introduction - again
AKA https://calckey.social/@Anthopogenesis
reddit.com/user/ProfessorGumby
https://social.stlouist.com/@ProfessorGumby
Not an actual professor
#Infosec engineer.
Former technical support engineer, SOC analyst, IT technician, factory worker, radio DJ, bartender, cook, truck driver. Middle aged liberal snowflake who believes in equal rights and fair treatment for everyone regardless of faith, gender, sexuality, culture, race, or ability. Sometimes toots overly personal stuff.
#SouthernIllinois #NoCo #STL #Florissant #StLouis #SciFi #Fantasy #Fiction #Agnostic #Skeptic #Depression #Anxiety #Puns
#BlackLivesMatter
I just set up this instance. I tried it yesterday and ran into all sorts of problems so I rebuilt the server and tried again using the "develop" branch. This seems to be better for now. I apologize to those who may have received multiple follow requests.
Cat x Literature #3
Please expand image to see very glorious puns!
Get them as stickers:
https://ko-fi.com/s/4952aa6e8a
Or mini prints:
https://ko-fi.com/s/0ae002220e
Cat x Literature #2
Satanic Edition!
Get them as stickers:
https://ko-fi.com/s/4952aa6e8a
Or mini prints:
https://ko-fi.com/s/0ae002220e
When you can't find your #cat, it might be using active catouflage.
I'm having fun drawing this ridiculously intricate chickens. Here's my latest which took about seven hours to draw: "Fowl's Moving Castle"
Prints, mugs, etc, available here: https://sarah-sammis.pixels.com/featured/fowls-moving-castle-sarah-sammis.html
#art #MastoArt #FediArt #puns #ChickenArt #DigitalArt #2023AYearForArt #DailyArtChallenge
Why call it a backstab, when you can call it buttrayal?
#FiXatoPUNishes #FiXatoCreative #FiXatoWrites #pun #puns #wordplay
It’s #FollowFriday and I #FollowBack so #Follow me for a #FridayFollow this #Friday.
If you have an #introduction toot pinned on your profile that you’d like boosted, #comment “IntroBoost” below, and I’ll give you a #boost to help you connect with the community.
If you #FollowMe you can expect #DadJokes, bad #puns, and original #IndieMusic so I look forward to connecting with you, and connecting you to a wider #community.
🫶
Add your own #puns !
#introduction Hi I'm Joe!
I live on a 10 acre (4ha) #Farmstead on #WhidbeyIsland, USA where I keep #Goats and #Chickens.
I love to #Travel and learn #Languages. I'm learning how to be a #Foodie. I'm obsessed with #Music, especially weird #EDM, classical, and #BlackPink.
I proudly serve on the #SchoolBoard of the local school district and I'm passionate about #Equity and #SocialEmotionalLearning in public education.
I'm mostly here for #Cat pictures and #Puns.
I'm a #Reconstructionist Jew.
I've yet to note on Mastodon that, contrary to popular belief, rock music is the most pietist genre ever.
There's a Highway to Hell, but only a Stairway to Heaven.
#Rock #Genre #Pietism #HighwayToHell #StairwayToHeaven #Puns
Fun, quirky, and creative Valentine’s Day cards. #design #valentinesday #cards #funny #puns
@QasimRashid My idea for a plot: The killer puts poison in his victims' oatmeal. He's a cereal killer.
Been here a little while, though I haven’t yet sunk into the universe until I got all pruney. These here #introduction toots will maybe clear up my intentions.
Hello all! Glad to be here. I’m a #UnionStrong #PublicServant who #writes #poetry. I’m hoping to find community with people who enjoy #books #reading #StarTrek #Proprioception #DoctorWho #sushi #cheese #puns #ActionMovies #mythology #tangents #SFF #science #art #history
Time for a legitimate #Introduction
I am @pwn_toney aka Kielen (key-len). I'm operating on a personal instance & I should intro for people I've met since migrating
Me: peripatetic creator, #musician, aspiring game #composer, masters candidate, children's book author, husband, dad, #SciFi enthusiast, #gamer, occasional #streamer, #introvert, #ADHD, recovering Pistons fan, & habitual under-sleeper... #GenX, 1st #HipHop gen.,
#BlackTwitter transplant
Made terrible dental pun to friend who just found out their year will be filled with a series of procedures to deal with a rebellious tooth. Then, sincerely, I said, "I'm so sorry, my brain just does that."
She laughed and said, "No, keep it up, you have to keep me laughing through the entire year, that's your new goal." A year's worth of dental puns? HOLD MY BEER
If you have any ideas, feel free to share, I want to get a list going, you know the drill HAHAHA (like that but better). #puns
#ADHD #AdoptDontShop #Antifa #AntiNarcissism #Apatheist #BasicIncome #Bioswales #BLM #BorderCollies #BPD #Cannabis #CatsofMastodon #ClimateChange #Comedy #Compersion #Cooperatives #DadJokes #DBT #Debian #Democracy #Democrat #DemocraticSocialism #Depression #DisposablePeople #DogsofMastodon #EatTheRich #Empathy #EndCorporateWelfare #Equality #ExcessiveHashtags #ExecutiveDisfunction #FBR #GallowsHumor #Humanist #HumanRights #IStandWithUkraine #JusticeMatters #LegalizeIt #LGBTQ+ #LiberalAF #Linux #LoveIsLove #MaskUp #MentalIllness #MutualAid #NonSequiturs #Persist #Polyamory #ProChoice #Progressive #ProudWoke #Puns #Resist #Solidarity #Spaceballs #SubstackAuthor #TwitterMigration #UBI #UnionStrong #USA #USPol #Vaccinated #VoteBlue #VotingRights #WeirdoLib #Weltschmerz #WokeAF #Xennial
Persuaded a bunch of people to join my Cult of Electric Stoves and leave their gas ranges behind, we just had the welcome celebration.
Hell of an Induction ceremony.
#gas #gasstove #gasrange #electricstove #sustainability #energytransition #puns #dadjokes #induction #cooking
@cmconseils See… this is part of why content warnings exist as a feature. You know what you did @donmelton… 🤪
I've been exposed to more #puns and #dadjokes since migrating over than in the years leading up to the migration. It's hilarious. And painful. And punishable by the slaw.
Cole's law.
Finely shredded cabbage.
I need to stop using that one, but I've also recently used my "H₂O₂" bad chemistry homicide joke.
I need more bad jokes.
Wait. Waitwaitwait… nuuuu~
Take a book, movie or TV show and replace one word with "wank": eg Raiders of the Lost Wank
Good evening #Fediverse :fediverse:! In tonight's #Introduction #ConnectionList #TwitterMigration post, where I help to more richly connect the Fediverse, I'd like you to meet:
@unsw_ai is #UNSW #AI research centre 👋
@oj_gstrein is the Director of #DataScience and society at the University of #Groningen #researcher #academic 👋
@hollie is enthusiastic about #nature, #puns, the #IndieWeb, #reading, #sewing and #knitting (me, too Hollie! 🧶 👋 )
@futilityfunc is a #DataScience person who is interested in #complexity, #DynamicSystems, #systems and #cybernetics 👋
@mythopoetica is a Senior #Lecturer #researcher in #Literature and #CreativeWriting and is into #CriticalTheory 👋
@peridragon designs colourful #knitting patters and is into #history #biology and #StarTrek Knit long and prosper, Peridragon! 👋
@HackingDave is the #founder of Binary Defense and TrustedSec and works in #infosec and is a #hacker 👋
@Ellopunk is into #Linux 🐧, #infosec and is into #ThreatModeling 👋
@ErikC is an #academic #researcher at UniSA and is into #DigitalHumanities, #VirtualHeritage and #SeriousGames 👋
Don't forget to build your own #ConnectionList #FollowFriday so we can more richly connect the Fediverse ❤️
@neil in that case, I'd use #puns of #neilspuns