Paimon............. Paimoni,,, more like Vaimoni!!! (Vaimo(ni) = (My) Wife) :shyplead: ples... you don't get it. If I were to show Paimon to you, and describe his personality, u would think he was my OC (legit full on Sinicore!!) Paimon is an honorary She/her, He gets the Girl card, he is part of the lesbians, she is my light... my life.... Unbelievable how much Paimon is affecting me by just EXISTING!!!
The game might be broken and it can make me suffer but Paimon makes it all worth it- ;_; I need more of her RIGHT NOW!!!!!!....
- The true "How I be looking with He/him in my bio", but Also has the She/her card (I use he/she interchangeably) Transfem icon, (I mean, I thought the bag decoration was transflag at 1st, would have been so SO slay)
- Is a total girly-pop, gyuaru, and his phone weighs 10kg/22lb, dyes his horns and puts "tattoos" (more like stickers) on them. (3 horns, slay)
- Does what I call a "girl-switch" aka, flips out into an insane murder machine, then next sec is like "<333 aaa uwuuu ilyyy bestii!!" Her gun is decorated like his phone!!!... A total "murder dildo" gun !!!! aaaa I love it sm
- He has a blood fetish. which is so perfect. we are the same person, she's my soul... 😭 Smells like blood and vvv cute and fem perfume,,, ME LEGIT omg!!! stopppp soul sister....
- He has my dream piercing look, its only on his left ear, which is so funny to me, his design is so asymmetrical in the most symmetrical ways!!
- She will make you feel better while ignoring her issues :( Just like me... MC was trying to comfort her, and he was like "noo bby ilyy" OWENIFOWEN aaaaaaI could go on and on... So much........ Also Leraye in the 3rd pic is my bb as well... These two are so lovely it HURTS. I need more content, I demand it!!! ;_; plsss
(image done by my amazing friend https://www.furaffinity.net/user/nightma/ WARNING, NSFW profile)
I may be a little odd as a person
and, I may be a bi out there with my identity and everything.
But, I'm not too different from most folks.
I may find my identity and comforts in some different places than most people, but that's ok. I'm just a bit of an oddball, and according to some a cryptid. But, that's how i like to be, I like to be me :3 #ramble #rambleaboutme #art #otherkin #cryptid
The joys of pre-ordering - I ordered this months ago, forgot all about it, and today, through the passage of time, it arrives, almost as if it had waited until I was old enough, and wise enough, to read it. And worth the wait it most certainly was. Take a bow @weird_walk 👏🧙♂️
#weirdwalk #keepwalkingweird #acidfolk #hauntology #folk #folklore #folkhorror #ramble #standingstones #megalithic #albion #stonecircle #haunted #landscape #wickerman #antiquarian#myth #neolithic #archaeology #ancientbritain
I'm alive, just poppping in to show my face. (cus I've been getting some "hope you are ok" messages... sorry everyone 🧍 ) I'm still deeeeep in DoL hell!! It's the 2nd month straight that I've been gaming non-stop :,D Started grinding feats, and hopefully gonna start a new run for a sub MC (I'm already dreading it... owienfoiwne)
I wanted to do goretober but I gotta pickup my oil-painting!! cus the paintings take a long time to finish and dry. It's going to be December in like 2secs. They are xmas presents for my pals, so ya!!!
But also, I need to find at least one or two more suitable containers... and I need to figure out "more suitable" is...
I also need to find something to wrangle drawing utensils... pencil bag or something...
To where having the containers is useful to keep the stuff contained, and also I can jump back into the hobby if I really want to, again.
I guess a compromise to be made is that...the containers aren't easily accessible, so that I have to make a decision of wanting to jump back into the hobby...I know that the stuff is available in my apartment, I may have to dig for the containers... but all of the items are contained in the containers.
I decided to get back into drawing...and it feels a little weird spending money on a hobby...that requires stuff that takes up room in my apartment...when I have several other hobbies for stuff I've purchased, that also takes up room... I really need to figure out how to organize this stuff better. I've mitigated the problem somewhat by purchasing containers to contain the stuff... I still have to figure out where to put the containers in my apartment.
aaaaaaa!!!!! Almost done with all LI portraits!! Missing Eden still cus IDK how to draw masc older men? At all??!?!? and my idea/face claim is Joel from The last of us.... BRO how am I supposed to translate that to my artstyle that is cunny kawaii pussy pop????? hOW!? Gap-moe!?
Anyway!!! update; I've fallen deep into Sydney luv!! IDK she caught my heart so deeply ;o; I started a new safe called Sapphic Demon Sex... Can you guess what that means!? My "canon" Syddie is more on the timid/pure side, slooowly growing to be more confident and comfy. PC (aka nomi ofc) Is just way too ready to fight her fights FOR her, so Sydney never gets to really practice oops-- Also canon TL Is building nicely, I have to personally try to trigger events to happen unfortunately, so I cannot "live out" my PCs reactions cus lol. ATM 2 ear slimes perk up for the catcalls and my girl reaction and PCs reaction is the same "please not now!" and ofc the willpower check fails (it happens so often when I'm trying to go see Eden too!!!! WHY!? Does the game want me to chillax in a cage there!? no ty!!! I got 4 GFs and a needy BF, I don't got time for that old man!!)
I've met all NPCs besides the prison ones, (and no, I don't wanna go there yet!! I'd be locked away for MONTHS) I gotta wait cus Wraith Ghost lady is starting to forgive me and I need the content!!! I legit celebrate like a football fan when I get new content in game- teehee,,, that's cus I have clocked 6h of game play per day for over a month now ._. Oops.... plenty of it is just routine, spam clicking to skip but that's fine!! I get to work on TL when nothing is happening (I'm a multitasking QUEEN (lies))
OH YEAH! PC is a demon now, its cringe- I was so happy when my "scalp started to itch" cus I thought I was gonna be a wolf gal,, then boom HORNS!! Robin was sleeping over so I could only imagine PC waking up, screaming cus horns, startling Robin, and then she'd scream aswell!!! HORNS!? D:!?!?!?!?! Yooooooo... the church doesn't like me now, but that was always canon, Jordan was the only person willing to give PC a chance. (and Syd ofcccc) But omfg the Demon TF is so OP, I gotta get rid of it- the stress peak is good tho! I already get rid of stress and trauma like it's nothing (legit 4 days from max trauma to none) Stay in school kids!!! It's funny to think that PC was a bird for a month, then like a year later she gets demon wings and is like "I preferred my feathers, being a naked bird isn't fresh during WINTer!!!!!!!!!!!!1 I'M FREEZING MY WINGS OFF!!!2" Iconic tho- PC is a meme queen slaaaayyyy
Grrrr I wanna get to drawing more portraits but my face-blindness-issues get in the waaayyyy :( I wanna draw them to make those meme alignment memes like "who'd do this" etc. but names are BOOOORINGGGG, I want faces!!!!. I gotta write a face claim list for the NPCs and try to figure something out--
Trump rambled so much in a NY fraud-case deposition, a lawyer griped, 'we're going to be here until midnight'
Ramble: Where Do You See The Future Of Online Privacy?
I2P browsing access (for posting / reading): http://ramble.i2p/f/Privacy/5000/where-do-you-honestly-see-the-future-of-online-privacy
Clearnet / any browser can read at this link: https://ramble.pw/f/Privacy/5000/where-do-you-honestly-see-the-future-of-online-privacy
I watched "The Banshees of Inisherin" a few weeks ago. I remember reading a response or two that went along the lines of "viewers identify more with Colm early on..." and I just... What? The man was deranged from the jump! At no point was this man and his humors anything but a fucking mystery to me! Though after some distance from viewing the film (and maybe getting too high this evening and taking a long midnight shower illuminated only by a small lantern for vibes that quickly soured...) I started to contemplate my own... anxietal crux. I'm a creature who deeply wants a role to fill in his community in a world that just wants me to punch in and punch out and consume and not... get in the way. If I do something, anything, it has to be because it has impact... And I am without hope. So I satisfy myself with being, well... dull. Generally inoffensive. Just generally... Nice. I couldn't see why anyone would identify with Colm, and while I largely feel that's because the man felt like an absolute monster to me, it's also because I could not stop myself from IMMEDIATELY seeing myself in Pádraic. A man with a best friend, and a wonderfully supportive sister, the cutest donkey, and what seemed to be an affordable, if dull, life. All I'm saying is it took years for me to live somewhere my landlord might deign to allow of pets, and Pádraic has a menagerie. Pádraic was goals.
Pádraic and I basically want the same thing: To live as comfortably as we can and cause as little hurt as we can while we run down the clock. Despite thinking of ourselves as nice, and claiming to value that quality in ourselves and others, we choose define nice merely through the absence of being mean. In other words, our "niceness" is defined by what we don't do, rather than what we do.
But Colm... Colm wants to be remembered, or at least that's what he says. My perspective is that Colm is just a dramatic little pill, but as I was sitting in my weirdly creepy shower and reflecting on what got me where I am, a 30-something with over 20 different jobs with no common threads, no prospects for stability, and struggling to find a way to pass the time in a (perhaps meaningful?) way as the timer counts down, not just on him but on the entire world (or at least his particularly traumatized brain-goo feels this in it's anxiety-riddled neurons). How'd we weather that pandemic? Not so good. How's the climate? Not so good. Reproductive and trans rights and general bodily autonomy? Pretty fucking shit. The political arena...? Also not so good. In the face of all of that, "Being nice" feels like... all we've got, but many of us feel so... drained that all we can afford to offer is the absence of bad.
And so we diminish.
But still, fuck Colm. Boundaries are one thing, but excising someone with NO advance warning in a SMALL TOWN on a FUCKING ISLAND is... bananas. And that's before we get to the self-mutilation. The very literal and obvious "Cutting off your nose to spite your own face."
But also there's this horrendous, awful part of me, a part of me that, if I could cut out, I'd feel like I could just continue on my current path fairly comfortably. That horrific kernel of the American entrepreneur incepted into all of us in our education...
"If you really want to do something, you need to be good enough to support yourself doing it, or it isn't worth doing. Find what you love and wring every productive cent out of it, because it doesn't make sense to not do the thing you love for most of your time, so you better fucking love WORKING! PSYCHE! Haha, you stupid motherfucker! You thought pottery was going to awaken something in you and you'd become an artisan and make the mugs and bowls and plates and planters in your community and some other artisan would like, make you a really cool chair? Nah dude, that shit needs to start paying the bills YESTERDAY! And you don't have the time to develop a skill to that point, so blame it on your friend distracting you! And when that wasn't the problem, CUT OFF YOUR FUCKING ARM so you can't THROW POTS ANYMORE! Or poison the idea of passion so deeply that you no longer view it as attainable, let alone desirable."
So... nothing I'm good at pays the bills. Cooking, bike wrenching, advocacy, tinkering... capitalism views most of what I can do of barely being worthy of subsistence. And every time I want to do something new with my life, it costs. It costs money, and time, and energy, and if I don't get an immediate ROI, an immediate material or emotional gain, I cut it from my priorities.
I just bought a tin whistle. I bought it because for months I've been obsessed with Concertinas. Concertina's apparently aren't worth buying for less than $500. I do not have $500. So I bought a tin whistle. I bought a nice one, because I didn't want a whistle that sounded bad to discourage me. The whistle sounds fine. I sound bad. It's pretty tricky. I am very tired. The whistle is very loud, and it wouldn't Be Nice for me to make too many loud sounds around my neighbors, so I try to find spots I can practice that won't bother anyone. Those don't really exist in a city, and I am very tired. I do not think I'm likely ever going to learn how to play this whistle.
So I keep on oozing from day to day, Being Nice, telling myself that's enough, and not changing or growing in any way. Not cultivating any skills, interests, or pursuits that don't support my job or put food on the table. And every day a little Colm in the back of my mind screams at me "You're dull! You're so fecking dull! I punched a cop for feck's sake, what have you done? Be 'Nice?' Fuck off."
Colm's a psycho, but by the end of the movie he's the only character who laid out an officer of the law, so I feel like, in the final analysis, Colm's pretty fucking alright. Lord knows us Pádraics aren't getting anything done.
Femboy loves package managers
Ohhhh package managers, my beloved! So useful and handy!
#Femboy #CrossDresser #Twink #Cute #Athletic #LongHair #LGBTQ #Trans #Submissive #Breedable #Trap #Sissy #Pride #Nerdy #Ramble #Vlog #Talk #Linux #Information #Educational #Bra #Choker #Bell #Jingle #FOSS #PackageManager #Masked #Tip
The one of the larval stages of Campyloneura virgula. This is a true bug and is predatory. You can just about see the sucking mouth part being extended.
#tech #randomthought #ramble love mastodon conceptually, but unless it gets an overhaul i'm worried one day this'll happen (tl;dr: people will leave): https://mastodon.social/@Impossible_PhD@hachyderm.io/110640662381796696 hoping to be wrong though
📝 RAMBLE (Anon Reddit Alternative):
Normal clearnet (any) browser: https://ramble.pw
France Senate To Turn On Microphone / IoT / Smartphone Spying
Checking Out Anonymous Reddit Alternative: Ramble
Accessible By Clearnet (normal internet) Tor / I2P / Yggdrasil (which is pretty neato)
In case it wasn't obvious,i strongly dislike Elon and generally all types of millionaires. So many starving,so much money that could be invested in so many research fields and practical endeavours that would benefit millions,instead yachts are bought,and the planet is dieying for all the extra money these suits somehow still need. Right.
#millionaires #ramble #rant #vent #poverty #earth #elonmusk
Full video Femboy bully POV headscissors: https://fansly.com/post/527859458936680448
#Femboy #Trap #Sissy #Cute #Athletic #LongHair #Shaved #Smooth #LGBTQ #Femdom #POV #Shoes #Trampling #Trample #Trampled #FootDomination #Sleep #Unconscious #Nerdy #Ramble #Vent #Education #Bicycling #Headscissor #Facesitting #Shorts #GymShorts #Domination #Choker #Tshirt #Fading #View
I'm looking at people's comments about this whole submarine full of lost rich people whose logitech controller and makeshift contraption did not do miracles(y'know,vs actually having a proper vessel for underwater exploration) and i keep wondering if they would care much about any of us should we be in the same situation as them.
I don't think they'd care at all.
I'm an empathic person,but in these cases i tend to not feel a thing.
#news #submarine #richpeople #logitech #rant #ramble #random
I hold on to my dreams. I strive for something new and fresh, but hold on to what a younger me desperately wanted. The dread wells up in me the second I realize I’m not happy anymore. I don’t want to descend into the depths of depression again. I don’t want my mind to die.
Sometimes I feel like I’m just a deficit disorder; a dopamine disaster. I need the drug to survive, I reach, and reach, and reach, and reach, and reach…
Yes, I go for new and shiny. I used to do that with people, but now I do it with myself. No matter how much I struggle to juggle and adapt, I’ll push myself into new things again and again. I need my brain to buzz. I need my skin to sizzle. I need my mind to murmur how much it’s made happy by my constant change.
I need the change, but I hate it. Sometimes, I wish I could lose myself in some secret substance that’d take the pain away. Sometimes, I wish I was more than divergent. Sometimes, I don’t even know me anymore.
#ADHD #autism #neurodivergent #ramble #thoughts #writing
I really need to unsubscribe from band emails and their socials.
Anytime I see a band touring in my neck of the woods, I get super excited and start trying to plan it out only to scrap it all half an hour later after I realize I have to actually drive there, schedule someone to feed my pets and then weigh whether I'll need time off the next day to recoup.
I also have really become reclusive in the last couple years thanks to the pandemic and just can't tolerate crowds.
I just end up bumming myself out hardcore. In the last week I've gotten excited and quickly dashed the excitement away over 3 different shows.
The one that has prompted this long rambly mess was an excitement to have a better experience with a band in a live venue after a not so great first show just before the shutdowns. Granted that venue was WAY smaller compared to the one I'd be going to if I'd continued, the crowd they tend to draw were annoying and frustrating back then, I can only imagine a full meltdown having to deal with them again.
If you've made it this far, thanks. If you feel compelled to commiserate or whatever, I'm all ears.
I am not having a good day
1. Wearing stupid thick winter socks because idk where to find 100% cotton socks in #japan and my two pair are dirty
2. Bonked my head on the hostel pod smoke detector
3. Very sweaty from carrying this damn box everywhere
4. Smacked my back on the wood enclosure when exiting the hostel pod
5. Very depressed today
6. Had to reprint my shipping label due to some "error" japan post never told me about, reprint for my box and now worried my others wont go through DESPITE the first one passing customs IN CANADA already. Irrational anxiety.
7. Still not at the thrift store yet
8. Stinky but at least i have deoderant on
#ramble #thoughts #travel
Walkers Are Welcome Town - Melrose
Melrose is a small town in the central Borders situated at the foot of the Eildon Hills, close to the river Tweed. It has excellent visitor facilities and the local path network provides the perfect opportunity to explore the surrounding landscape and it’s many historical connections together with our paths booklet.
So, I mentioned before how much I wish a foss widget maker for #Android was made, kinda like #conky or #rainmeter, and from there I went on a bit of a #ramble about widgets in FOSS apps in general, this and much more in today's #blogpost.
Day 40 of #100DaysToOffload
I now have 32 followers and follow 16 people, and the part of my brain that likes patterns never, ever wants another person to follow me. okay thanks. (I don't mean it, I'm sorry, I have no friends, i'm not showing you away) #ramble #mentalHealth #ADHD #neurodivergent #funny ??? (don't know about that last one, brain.)
I decided to #ramble a bit about how I overheated my phone due to my laziness and stuff, and my paranoia after going through that...
tldr: don't charge your phone at night people, limit your usage while charging and don't fully charge it every day...
Day 38 of #100DaysToOffload
Hm. So I've tried to get toot.garden on joinmastodon.org, for the past several months, and have gotten legitimately 0 response. I could understand being busy, etc, but at the very least a rejection, and why would be beneficial. I've tried to send a followup email as well, but I also believe it has been missed, or put in the bin...?
It would just be nice to make it easier to grow the nice community we have here, as organic growth is hindered dramatically by the fact that joinmastodon.org exists. I don't want toot.garden to be huge, lord no. But it would be nice if it could be found easier? Dunno.
I mainly mention this because I spent 3 hours trying to find other instances on instances.social and many were defunct, or private. Leaving joinmastodon.org to really be the only other site.
Since 2005, Nether Stowey has been the starting point of The Coleridge Way, a 51 mile trail across the Quantocks and the Brendon Hills and onto Exmoor, finishing at Lynmouth Harbour.
What better way to explore the beautiful unspoilt Somerset landscape and meet the local people than to walk across it as Coleridge himself did.
A tufted titmouse in the Ramble of Central Park. These little guys don't always come into the city during winter. However, when they do they are welcome. They're bold little birds with lots of personality.
A Philadelphia Vireo in Central Park yesterday. It was bathing by diving into a stream and then returning to this branch to preen.
A female eastern tiger swallowtail butterfly (Papilio glaucus). The females have the blue at the end of their wings.
This is a peacock fly. This one is raising it's wings, like a peacock does it's tail. Personally, I like that the spots and coloration continue on both the wings and body of the insect.
Graphic design quickly became a great hobby for me since I started contributing to Arcticons, and I have been able to contribute to other projects too, but it still feels wrong when I make money out of it
Some crane flies mating. I'm not sure of the exact type of crane fly, I think these may make a living eating mosquitos as some of their nicknames include 'Mosquito Hawk' and 'Skeeter-eater'.