#recovery
From the "Sometimes There's Good News" desk.
https://www.cbc.ca/radio/asithappens/golden-mole-rediscovered-1.7048881
#Conservation #Species #Recovery #SouthAfrica #eDNA #Mammal @GoldenMole
The power of environmental DNA methods is astonishing.
Tinnitus Linked to Auditory Nerve Loss
From Neuroscience News: Complete Post through this link…
Summary: A new study reveals that tinnitus, a common auditory issue characterized by ringing in the ears, is associated with undetected auditory nerve loss. This finding challenges the traditional understanding that tinnitus is solely a result of brain
https://disabilitycosmos.blog/2023/12/04/tinnitus-linked-to-auditory-nerve-loss/
#AT #DisasterAndDisability #HealthAndDisability #Recovery
Soccer Players Beware – New Research Links Heading to Significant Decline in Brain Function
By RADIOLOGICAL SOCIETY OF NORTH AMERICA: Complete Post through this link…
New findings recently presented at the annual meeting of the Radiological Society of North America (RSNA) links soccer h
https://disabilitycosmos.blog/2023/12/04/soccer-players-beware-new-research-links-heading-to-significant-decline-in-brain-function/
#DisabilityResistence #HealthAndDisability #HealthPolicy #Recovery
Arizona first state to stop seizing social security, disability benefits of foster children
By Bridget Dowd: Complete Post through this link…
The Arizona Department of Child Safety has adopted a new program that creates savings accounts for children in foster care.
Kids who receive Supplemental
https://disabilitycosmos.blog/2023/12/04/arizona-first-state-to-stop-seizing-social-security-disability-benefits-of-foster-children/
#Abuse #DisabilityResistence #EconomicJustice #Recovery
Arizona first state to stop seizing social security, disability benefits of foster children
By Bridget Dowd: Complete Post through this link…
The Arizona Department of Child Safety has adopted a new program that creates savings accounts for children in foster care.
Kids who receive Supplemental
https://disabilitycosmos.blog/2023/12/04/arizona-first-state-to-stop-seizing-social-security-disability-benefits-of-foster-children/
#Abuse #DisabilityResistence #EconomicJustice #Recovery
Love Is Everything: An Inclusion Song Featuring Nonspeaking Singers
From Stimpunks: Complete Post through this link…
“Love Is Everything (revisited)” by The Eddie Ray Band, featuring nonspeaking and minimally speaking singers, brings the feels and invites singing along, together.
https://disabilitycosmos.blog/2023/12/04/love-is-everything-an-inclusion-song-featuring-nonspeaking-singers/
#DisabilityCulture #DisabilityResistence #Intersection #Recovery
Michigan lawmakers vote to end most juvenile court fees, citing harms
By Lauren Gibbons: Complete Post through this link…
Michigan lawmakers approved bills ending most court fines and fees levied in juvenile courts
It was part of a larger overhaul of the state’s juvenile justice system
The bills’ p
https://disabilitycosmos.blog/2023/12/04/michigan-lawmakers-vote-to-end-most-juvenile-court-fees-citing-harms/
#Abuse #DisabilityResistence #EconomicJustice #Intersection #Recovery
US economy prolly bottoming
https://volewica.blogspot.com/2023/12/us-economy-prolly-bottoming.html
This guide shows you how to boot into the Android recovery mode and its various features like factory reset, rebooting into the bootloader, applying system updates, running a simple graphics test
GitHub - koldinger / #Tardis: A #backup system, similar to #TimeMachine. Supports #encrypted, #incremental #backups, with #filesystem based #recovery.
Tardis is aimed primarily at "live backups", namely a backup taken periodically, and available for quick recovery, typically stored on attached or online disks, or rather than being stored on archival backup media, such as tapes.
Tardis runs in a client/server mode, or in a fully local mode.
i’d been seeing myself on #phonecamera-taken #pictures and thinking me looking healthier everyday… not until around this midnight, when i was shown a couple of #photos just taken with a real #camera… suddenly i was sad and disappointed seeing myself looking #unwell, #sick, and #weak… #health #recovery #picture #photo #photography
Caring for our community takes a collective efforts.💫
🧤Tonight I am volunteering at the Malden Warming Ctr., a temporary night ctr for those that are homeless during the harshest winter months.
✔️Donate clothing + toiletries
✔️Meals + Fundraiser
Learn More/ Support 🔗 https://www.maldenwarmingcenter.org/
#homelessness #foodinsecurity #nonprofit #communitysupport #volunteer #mentalhealth #addiction #recovery #hope #volunteering
Remains of Otto Florschutz Recovered from Wrangell Slide Area
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Slide area. Photo courtesy of Caleb Purviance
On Friday the Department of Public Safety announced the recovery of another victim's remains from the deadly Wasilla landslide.
According to the report, at 4:25 pm on Thursday, Wrangell Search and Rescue volunteers and an excavator were able to recover...
https://alaska-native-news.com/71209-2/71209/
#wrangell #zimovia #landslide #recovery #victims #otto #florschutz
#anxiety #recovery #depression
I'm telling you, this guy is worth paying attention to if you suffer from the human condition.
Today is the first time since before I got sick that I felt strong. I managed a yoga session and a walk home on slippery, snowy sidewalks without feeling tired. I’m glad I took almost two months off from doing more than the bare minimum. I think it let me heal up better from COVID than if I’d been pushing myself. I’m grateful I was able to do this while also furious that most people I know are in a state of wage slavery and cannot. Rest is so vital to recover from this awful disease, and hardly anyone is in a position to do that. Capitalism kills. #covid #Recovery #strength #convalescence #FuckCapitalism #eugenics
My daily walking has returned to pre-COVID normal. Still working on my strength and endurance. #recovery
One of my students has had a niece delete files from an external hard drive. Can anyone recommend a good file recovery tool?
I'm guessing testdisk might be a good option, but have never used it or anything similar.
Any recommendations or warnings?
Omg my gf got me some cake and made some home made non alcoholic muld wine for my soberversary ❤️❤️❤️
She joined me even though she didn't have to and has always been my cheerleader even though I've wanted to give in many times 🥹
That's my future wife ❤️
#aa #alcoholicsanonymous #alcoholfree #alcoholic #alcoholics #sober #soberlife #soberliving #sobriety #recovery #recoveryposse #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthmatters
I’m glad to be back to moving around and exercising regularly again, but I sure have lost a lot of strength in under two months. At yoga, I could not hold a chatarunga dandasana at all. I hope my strength returns soon. I hate feeling so weak. https://www.yogajournal.com/poses/four-limbed-staff-pose/ #yoga #recovery #covid #PhysicaFitness #strength
This is an easy trap to fall into
#Trauma #MentalHealth #MentalIllness #ChronicIllness #ChronicDisease #Addiction #Recovery
Today I did a 7 km walk without needing to rest. I did the same walk a week ago and needed a break. Progress! I’m still pretty gassed on hills, even if they’re not steep, but I take my time. I’m also starting up with yoga again. I walk to the studio and back, and can do a session while wearing my N95. On Friday, I did my first session since before Canada caught on fire. Doing my best to get my strength and endurance back. Planning on walking daily unless there’s a good reason not to. So far, global pandemics and climate catastrophe have not stopped me from trying to take care of myself. Yay? #recovery #covid
🇺🇸 Patriotism Through Volunteerism
▪️Non-profits cannot do their work without community partners, donors and volunteers.
✅Getting involved with an organization, no matter how big or small, allows for growth on so many levels.
🎯Be the reason someone feels seen, heard, and supported.
#helpothers #communitysupport #nonprofit #foodinsecurity #homelessness #giveback #charity #payitforward #recovery #family #patriotism #volunteer #quotes
Holiday Without a Loved One❤️
Visited my nephew’s grave this morning🌅
We will continue to celebrate his life and share his warm smile♥️
🗣️End the stigma around mental illness and seeking help.
If you or someone you know is in crisis, call or text 988📱
You are worth it🫶🏽
#mentalhealth #suicideprevention #suicideawareness #helpothers #988lifeline #communitysupport #depression #recovery #sobriety
Searching for the missing boy
Season 3 Episode 12 "A Matter of Life and Death"
#RandomBaywatch #lvdlpx #Baywatch #Cops #Recovery #Operation #Desperate #Search #AMatterOfLifeAndDeath
#TheMetalDogArticleList
#MetalInjection
YEAR OF THE KNIFE's Members Are Back To Rehearsing After Their Horrific Accident
This rules.
#YeartotheKnife
#Rehearsal
#Accident
#Comeback
#Recovery
#MetalBand
#MusicScene
After a weekend on the couch, I'm now at the point where I can use my knee almost *normally*.
It's lovely. I'm still going to need to ice it regularly, to make sure I don't over do it, and to be gentle. And I most certainly, as much as it pains me, do not need to go on the motorcycle yet.
But... Soon.
#ElectricMotorcycle #Accident #Health #Recovery #LookingAfterMyself
Android's factory reset is a good start for securing your phone before selling it, but data recovery is still possible.
That walk shagged me out. The test will be how I feel tomorrow. If I’m still exhausted, well, that means I’m not ready for 7km walks yet. If I’m not exhausted tomorrow, I’ll go for another walk. I hate being sedentary. I can feel my muscles falling off while all my clothes are suddenly too small. #COVIDRecovery #recovery #fitness
It’s been 12 years since Mohammed Al Zaza was injured at home in #Gaza by an #Israeli #DroneStrike, now he’s on the road to #recovery at the #GFStrongRehabCentre in #Vancouver thanks to a #partnership between the #Muslim & #Jewish communities that got him to #Canada.
Al Zaza has been watching the news from his hospital bed and wondering if his family is still alive as the war rages on in the #MiddleEast.
https://vancouver.citynews.ca/2023/11/17/vancouver-gaza-man-drone-strike
#Palestinian #Survivor #CeasefireNow #FreePalestine #StopTheBombs
Higher-Dose #Fluvoxamine and Time to Sustained #Recovery in #Outpatients With #COVID19, JAMA: https://jamanetwork.com/journals/jama/fullarticle/2812204?guestAccessKey=54d3e80d-56e9-4898-af7f-16af89f61123&utm_source=silverchair&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=article_alert-jama&utm_content=olf&utm_term=111723&adv=000003719403
Crypto Market Shows Signs of Recovery with Surging Crypto Prices, NFT Sales - Source: Adobe / Luisa
The crypto market is displaying promising signs of recovery ... - https://cryptonews.com/news/crypto-market-shows-signs-of-recovery-with-surging-crypto-prices-nft-sales.htm #altcoinnews #ethereum #recovery #bitcoin
Have you ever thought about how Alcoholics Anonymous #AA and Narcotics Anonymous #NA are probably the most successful* living #anarchist organizations? It's proof that the bottom-up decentralized confederated model works on a global scale.
If you're an anarchist and unfamiliar, I recommend checking out The Twelve Traditions (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Twelve_Traditions).
#anarchism #socialism #recovery #politics
* Yes it's actually bigger than the population of #Rojava in case you were going to bring that up.
⚡️ Police recover 50 stolen luxury purses in Granada Hills home of a suspected handbag fence. Purses were stolen in residential burglaries across Southern California. Suspect arrested for receiving stolen property, released on zero bail. LAPD seeks information on thefts. #crime #recovery https://www.riskmap.com/incidents/1955321/articles/198285086/?utm_source=dlvr.it&utm_medium=mastodon
I had the pleasure of attending a post-fire season #baer meeting with #usfs Region 6 staff earlier this week. A lot of topics were covered by the Interim BAER Coordinator, including threats to Hwy 199.
I'm hopeful that interagency coordination and collaboration will be the continued focus next season.
@AnnaAnthro #addiction #nicotine #recovery #tobacco
For 10 years I used vape juice on a bit of tissue between my lip and my gum. It got me off "smokeless tobacco" -- Copenhagen, Skoal and so on. It works REALLY WELL to deliver the nicotine.
So THEY STOLE MY IDEA. Should I sue?
Kidding aside, Copenhagen got me hooked when I was 16. It took one can of the snuff, and I was a customer for the next 60 years. Then I went to the juice and DIY pouch.
Nicotine is as addictive as it gets! Addicts get off alcohol, coke, horse, meth, you name it, and tobacco is usually the LAST. It was for me.
What is wrong with our feckless gov't, that they let ANY new nicotine product into the market??? They are bought off, that has to be it. Or just stupid.
I'm off nicotine two years now, and I still crave it, hard and often. It is a terrible chemical. It is worse because after getting addicted, you take it just to feel normal. Never a high. But try and stop any you want to die.
Every food and drug regulation employee should be required to have kicked a bad addiction. Then they would know. And not allow this nonsense.
I had a full day yesterday and went to bed extra early. I slept more than nine hours, which is a lot more sleep than I usually get. So I guess my energy hasn’t returned to pre-COVID levels yet. I hope it will. In the meantime, I’ll take it easy today and maybe tomorrow I’ll try some physical exercise and see how that goes. Today will be all about writing. I am working on a new short story. #covid #recovery #AmWriting
does anyone with #CPTSD or other similar conditions experience an aversion to making goals and/or plans? i just prefer to live one-day-at-a-time, but i think i need to make some goals. unfortunately my desire to make goals is like... in the negative numbers (for some reason). and i can't figure out why i'm so averse to it... it's like i don't even want to think about it...
edit: the idea of more goals just feels like adding chores to my already overwhelming chorelist...
I had my first “normal” day since getting sick. I wrote for a couple of hours, did some housework, reorganized the pantry (it was a random disaster), went for a walk, got groceries, and made a bunch more dried apples. It’s nice to have the pantry restocked and organized. I won’t be running out of tinned tomatoes for a good long time. Now I still have about fifteen pounds of apples left to process. Hopefully, I’ll find some time this week. I could have walked more, but don’t want to overextend myself. Hoping my energy levels will return to normal and that I can get back to weightlifting. #covid #recovery
I walked almost 5 km today. This is less than my average from before I got sick. It made me a little bit tired, but not too bad. I also went picking apples. I’ve been picking apples every week, and making apple butter, cider, pies, and dried apples. Next up, apple sauce. I’ve lived here since 2016 and I’ve never seen anyone else pick from this tree. I don’t get it. The food is free and delicious. #forager #foraging #recovery #COVID #apples
The 99p offer for "The New Normal" has now finished, but if you missed out, don't worry!
"Unusual Medcine" is now available for the same price on the UK Kindle store!
Unusual Medicine: Essays on Autistic identity and drug addiction https://amzn.eu/d/6Qvlji1
next year's halloween costume: the rat that failed the forced swim test.
Five years ago, when I moved to #Lethbridge, #Alberta, my #sense of #smell became more sensitive than it had been before. I could smell the sprinkle of cinnamon on a cappuccino before it was on the table. After 4 #vaccination shots & masking at the mall, I nevertheless caught #covid. I'm currently self-isolating & experiencing the diminishment of my sense of smell. I can still smell things, but only if I put my nose right next to it!
What can we do to restore our #olfactory senses?
Stability in recovery requires more than abstinence. It requires support in all domains of life.
Autistic people, in particular, are more likely to struggle with social deprivation, and for us to achieve recovery and/or sobriety, we need support that takes account of the unique challenges that we face.
#ActuallyAutistic #autism #Autistic #neurodiversity #neurodivergent #recovery
FBI Helps Recover Nearly 200 Bodies from Colorado Funeral Home
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The FBI recently helped remove at least 189 dead bodies from the Return to Nature Funeral Home in Penrose, Colorado.
The Fremont County Sheriff’s Office responded to reports of a foul odor coming from the funeral home. They received a state warrant to search...
https://alaska-native-news.com/fbi-helps-recover-nearly-200-bodies-from-colorado-funeral-home/70480/
#funeralhome #bodies #colorado #recovery #penrose
Shocked child in viral video from Gaza makes a recovery | AJ #shorts
On Friday I did a couple of mental health outreach presentations at Penn State University. It was an awesome time! I'll be releasing a recording of the first presentation as an installment of the podcast tomorrow morning. Keep an eye out!
Remember that you can check out the podcast on all major streaming sites, including
Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/bipolar-recorder/id1589165562
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2z2xp8TYMUUfpgz72n53Dx?si=fc90117e4729456f
#mentalhealth #podcast #pennstate #psychology #bipolar #depression #recovery
My book about #autism and #addiction is available for US kindle readers for $0.99 until October 29th. Grab yourself a copy now!
Please retoot so loads of people can grab this!
https://www.amazon.com/Unusual-Medicine-Autistic-identity-addiction-ebook/dp/B0C2LCCNWT/
From WTOP.com: Maui County police find additional remains, raising Lahaina wildfire death toll to 99”
#CPTSD #trauma #narcissism #family #recovery
"Sometimes the clinical diagnosis is asshole."
https://www.youtube.com/post/Ugkxt9IW0DPCH41oZuRvzQqyZYsdwhje3k9i
or as i like to say, "there's no pill for curing assholery."
From the Los Angeles Times: After the Maui fire, some Hawaiians rethink aloha spirit. Is it for tourists, family, everyone?
Today's "in case you didn't know" link is purely technical wizardry. If you do anything at all with OS installations (bare metal, vms, really anything) you probably want to know about https://netboot.xyz
It is a net-bootable menu of TONS of installers, tools, live cds, full distributions, etc. It is self-hostable, and it even works on ARM64!
Cheat code: Get into an iPXE shell (in a VM just enable netboot and hit ^B when prompted) then run dhcp to get an address, and chain --autofree https://boot.netboot.xyz to boot the menu (pictured)
#linux #windows #tools #recovery #virtualization #vm #netboot #install #livecd
Made it official by celebrating and accepting this fabulous chip from my sponsor tonight. Eight years of recovery back on 9/23/23!
#RecoveryPosse #recovery #SoberAF #WeDoRecover #JFT #ODAAT #ThisIsWhatRecoveryLooksLike
Made it official by celebrating and accepting this fabulous chip from my sponsor tonight. Eight years of recovery back on 9/23/23!
#RecoveryPosse #recovery #SoberAF #WeDoRecover #JFT #ODAAT #ThisIsWhatRecoveryLooksLike
No surprise here.
New research shows that when police get suspected drug abusers treatment rather than arresting them, those people are less likely to abuse drugs or commit drug-related crimes in the future.
in the game of life, i'm the one in the bart simpson suit stepping on park jimin's feet (on my very best day).
(at least he laughed and booped the bart simpson's nose. that bart simpson can now die happy 😆)
A few notables from the newsroom today: Boston's efforts to replace a public hospital with substance use treatment & supportive housing -- this piece from Tori Bedford is worth a read for how a city is addressing the combined problems of substance use, mental health, and homelessness. https://www.wgbh.org/news/local/2023-10-12/shattuck-plan-asks-beleaguered-franklin-park-neighborhoods-to-take-a-leap-of-faith #housing #recovery
@theautisticcoach @actuallyautistic @actuallyaudhd
I've been in recovery since 2008, and led an atheist/agnostic #AA group for 10 years. In general I find 12-step programs to be unhelpful. The literature is intolerant and condescending. My group broke the rules and used unapproved literature. Groups led by licensed facilitators are usually the best, but they are rare. Finding a group you can trust and want to return to is more important than the type of group.
#recovery #ActuallyAutistic
#family #depression #CPTSD #SadStories #recovery #chill
phone call with dad just now:
dad: you ever read [some short story] by tolstoy?
me: nope.
dad: well, did you know that he left his family at the end of his life?
me, already suspicious because dad has left his own family multiple times and this sounds like another self-mythologizing snooze-fest where he equates himself to some Great Man or other: oh yea? so he stopped liking his family?
dad: well, it's not that he stopped liking them, he just couldn't take it anymore.
me, now fully aware that this story is all about himself, since he often uses the language of "i can't take it anymore!" in arguments with my mom. he also loves to say "you want me to leave?! i'll just leave!": couldn't take what?
dad: well they had a never-ending desire for money and could never be happy.
me, rolling my eyes internally: ok.
dad: he left in the middle of the night and died 10 days later.
me: so he only made it 10 days without his family?
dad: no, well he was already very old. [insert long story about a train station operator who took tolstoy in or something? then tolstoy died and the operator was so distraught that he committed suicide? it was a very long story and i tuned back in to hear...] well his whole life he was searching for the meaning of life, for truth, for the meaning of family and happiness. but he couldn't find answers. he was a vegetarian btw.
me, bored with this thinly-veiled story about himself: ....
dad: but that story of his, i don't think you'll ever read it.
me, letting the rudeness slide right off my back: i'll be honest i dont have much interest in tolstoy.
dad: well he was a great writer of the 19th century, and his slogan was "live for others and not for yourself."
me, seeing how this was meant to make me be like "ohhh well that's interesting to me! i better check out what this tolstoy guy has to say!": ...
anyway, it went on and on and on... i just stopped responding and let him keep talking..things moved on to "the death of ivan illich", which he told me the entire story of. then when i had nothing to stay, he goes on to fully explain the moral of the story, which is (i guess) about how people might forget you pretty fast after you die. i guess that's really sad for my dad. i'm just like...get used to it, buddy!
well he picked a bad day to be sad at me because i had just gotten morning-high and was watching the dappled sun hit the leaves of the plants and NOTHING was about to break my chill. so he got to hear allll about the cycle of life, our similarities (as living being) to plants, our connection to all living things through the process of life and death, how beautiful it is that both us and the trees and animals become one with the soil and a source of life for other living things, and alllllll that.
anyway, after a long while, i realized that he's sad about his poor health and thinks the trip will be too hard on him. (my mom wants the two of them to come visit me).
anyway, my mom has been pressuring dad about this visit, but dad definitely doesn't want to come. so after talking with him for an hour, i called mom and gave her the bad news (that he doesn't want to come). she was really hoping to visit and she said "this is very bad news for me. very bad." ("for me!" her dear husband feels very weak & in poor health, but all she can think is how bad the news is *for her*.) then she said she would try him one more time later today. i said "i don't think you should do that. he doesn't want to come and if you pressure him, you will probably get in an argument. no means no!" it was very hard to convince her to not press him, and she'll probably still do it anyway because she's the pushiest person i know. anyway, i did my part.
lol. the two of them deserve each other, i swear. once again, i'm very happy to be living very far away, and it will be very much not a problem if they don't come visit next month.
#counselor #psychology #trauma #recovery If you are recovering from #ReligiousTrauma or if you are a #mentalhealth professional working with this demographic, don’t miss CORT - the #conference on Religious Trauma, taking place online October 20-22nd. I’m the founder & host of this annual event, and it is my labour of love for this community. Student Discounts & Partial Scholarships available. Www.religioustraumaconference.org
Long shot, but does anyone know about #XFS #filesystem #recovery?
My Arch #Linux desktop crashed during an update and now has a corrupt XFS. Mounting fails because of the corruption. xfs_repair can't fix it because of unapplied log changes.
The XFS partition is on top of a pair of LVM-mirrored drives. A different XFS partition on the same drives mounts fine.
I'd rather not destroy the log and take the data loss but that's the next step I'm looking at.
Looking for suggestions or resources!
#TheMetalDogArticleList
#BLABBERMOUTH
PAUL RODGERS Opens Up About Multiple Strokes And Major Surgery Which Nearly Left Him Unable To Sing
#PaulRodgers #Stroke #Surgery #Singing #Recovery #MedicalJourney #Health
I’ve had a few really good days, then today I kinda got knocked down because of the super bad air quality. I also had to refill my day to day pill box and was just reminded I’m taking like 8 different medications. A reminder that I’m still not ‘ok’ but I am getting better. Patience is a thing I need to cultivate, and not get discouraged. #recovery
It’s also a #sunday - a day usually filled with the dread for Monday. But, tomorrow is my birthday so I’m going to try to enforce an attitude adjustment on myself.
Man, years of working daily for my family have engrained a sense of duty and guilt for having any weakness or need to rest.
Continuing my healing journey from a heart double bypass surgery. Tomorrow is my birthday, and I’m so grateful to be alive. I’m only 53, and it’s weird to say “only’ as society says that is already ‘old’. But to be honest ive never felt more ‘on’ in terms of technical skills, creativity, and desire to thrive. Appreciate every day you are alive, no matter what your age, and I hope you find something to take joy in today. #thrive #recovery #joy #sunday
I went to our local lake yesterday because the weather is going to turn rainy, and it was the first time I have been out of the house in three weeks (outside of doctor visits). And there was a person out walking their horse! I got to feed her a piece of apple and it was delightful. You forget as a tech person that the outside world is full of REAL stuff not just pixels on a screen, and how much more there is to life than screen pixels. #life #recovery #horse #apple
#family #CPTSD #trauma #recovery
youtube-therapist-patrick-teahan has done it again: he has made me get all verklempt first thing in the morning!
here, he talks about fathers who didn't protect the child from other abusive family members, but this can apply to any caretaker.
https://www.youtube.com/post/UgkxAsa67CuOr-oS3SNdMEqaTsq77xDMILU3
as one of the people in the comments said, "Dealing with the realization that the “good” (actually just slightly less outright terrible) parent didn’t protect you is so much more difficult than any emotions towards the “main” abuser."
in my family, my dad was the main asshole and mom was the one who urged me to just play along and take it. growing up, i always thought of me and her as "co-victims" together, but now i see that that's not the case at all..
and as some other commenters said, i also grew up thinking that most parents actually didn't like their kids. especially fathers. i thought that NO fathers liked their kids and that they were all pretending. it took my brother becoming a parent and me seeing what a good dad he was for me to realize that that wasn't true.
Going into today with zero expectations, but hopeful to get rest and see the sun today. #recovery
It's Monday morning. I'm still recovering but doing better. The fights moves from physical to mental recovery now, I think. Slept for 11 hrs last night. #recovery
I wrote this as a response to a question about overcoming harsh, unjust self-criticism. It sums up a lot of my healing journey.
The only thing I'd add, is that having the goal to "be over" something is wildly counter-productive. In fact, I now think it's doing the abusers' work for them.
https://mastodon.design/@mjausson/111064584004257986 #recovery
#family #CPTSD #classy #recovery #hell
on today's video call with mom, everything was going fine. i was showing the soil i was mixing up, the plants i was transplanting, she was asking me questions, i was answering... normal stuff.
she even praised me for the continuing tomato plant bounty of her garden, which happened because of some plant treatments i did when i was there in the summer. i raised my eyebrows like "oh, that's pretty nice of her."
then she started telling me her woes with a lemon tree she grew from seed. apparently it's already pretty big, but never makes fruit.
i asked if it had ever made flowers and she said no. i suggested fertilizer, she said she already did that.
so i said "i dunno, maybe go talk to the garden center about it? first you have to figure out how to get it to flower, because you need to have flowers if you want to have fruits."
she responded, full sarcasm, "yea, well you've told me something i already learned in 5th grade."
on the inside, i thought "oh it's gonna be like that? you ask *me* for help & then are rude to me? well fuck right off, pal." but on the outside, i just smiled my "fuck you" smile*, said a few more pleasantries and wrapped up the call.
i just don't understand why there's such a need to randomly inject assholery. it's a remarkable habit of both of my parents!
* my "fuck-you" smile is the big, big smile i make when i want to stab someone in the neck, but instead, i imagine the negative consequence they'll earn as a result of their mean action. karma & whatnot. like, what did my mom earn from being rude to me today? a stubbed toe? a papercut? getting cut off in traffic? i dunno.
if the person acts in a truly horrid way, i imagine the nature of the hell that they're going to find themselves in. for example, "animal torturer hell", where people who were cruel to animals get whipped and attacked by animal demons. or "horny hell", where people who can't keep it in their pants go to be turned on by sexy demons, and they can never orgasm. so i think to myself "this person thinks they're getting away with something by putting me down or being an asshole, well it'll all come around back to them eventually. maybe not in this lifetime, but eventually..." so that's the source of the smile. and that smile is what keeps me from lashing out.
anyway, enjoy this pro-tip for dealing with assholes! just imagine their fate in hell! EASY.
#Family #CPTSD #recovery #wow #lol
i'm entering stand-up comedy levels with the nonsense from my folks.
on video just now, mom asked me if i had made any new art. i said "no. no inspiration lately" and she jumped in with "WHY NOT?!"
it was sooo outrageous that i just started heckling her. i was like "seriously?! 'why not'??? it's inspiration, what am i supposed to do about it?? and when was the last time *you* got yourself out of an inspiration drought? yea, i thought not!" and she started laughing. she said: "i wasn't *blaming* you, i was just saying that it's a problem and how are you dealing with it" (which is...certainly one way of approaching things....)
later in the call, she sadly told me that today it was raining and 65F (they just had a horrible heat wave with multiple days of 100+ temperatures). i responded "but you're probably pretty grateful to be out of that extreme heat..?" and she went "ehhhh..." so i started heckling her again haha "you wanna go back to 104??" and she went "nooooo, like....83....but anything below that and i get coooold!" i was just speechless lol. so ungrateful, it's remarkable. no wonder she's never satisfied!
but at least this time it was funny and not sad or grumpy. maybe heckling is the answer. just make fun of them if they say ridiculous things to you!
On my road to #recovery some days are TwoStepsForward and others are OneStepBack. Yesterday was a OneStepBack (spent the night in the hospital) but today has been a TwoStepsForward. Learning that taking it easy means taking it freaking easy or else.