#relationships
5 Secrets From People In The #Happiest #Relationships
Theres a time and a place for problem solving, and theres a time and a place for being a supportive, comforting presence. When your partner is in distress, focus on support first.
♥️ #Relationships #RelationshipAdvice #Love #Attachment #AttachmentTheory #AttachmentStyle #SecureAttachment
Attachment-friendly boundaries sound like:
♥️ #Relationships #RelationshipAdvice #Love #Attachment #AttachmentTheory #AttachmentStyle #SecureAttachment
Getting To 'No'.
Getting to 'No'. Telling co-workers to sod off without offending them.
https://www.wattpad.com/1318139169-getting-to-%27no%27-telling-co-workers-to-sod-off
Your task is not
to seed for love, but
merely to seek and find
all the barriers within
yourself that you have
built against it.
— Rumi
♥️ #Relationships #RelationshipAdvice #Love #Attachment #AttachmentTheory #AttachmentStyle #SecureAttachment
We often think about our relationship with people and things like food or money. But have you considered your relationship with your creative self?
By engaging in a candid conversation with our creative self, we can unlock patterns which are holding us back.
In this week's blog I share the tools I use to check in with my creativity and what I have learned.
#creativity #WritingCommunity #Artists #Writers #Photographer #AmWriting #Blog #Relationships
http://emcox.co.uk/the-creative-chair-boost-your-creativity-with-this-one-simple-tool
#EmotionalValidation helps build trust and connection in #elationships by expressing understanding and support for a partner's emotions. It involves #empathy and understanding, without necessarily agreeing with their perspective or behaviour. Allowing space for feelings can help them be settled.
♥️ #Relationships #RelationshipAdvice #Love #Attachment #AttachmentTheory #AttachmentStyle #SecureAttachment
The ego of some men. At this point I’m just playing with him and when I get bored, I’ll block him.
Him: Any plans for weekend
Me: Nope
Him: Ok. I guess no fucking either 😀
Me: No. I don't need it.
Him: My offer is still there 😜
Me: You know my terms.
Him: You know mine too. 😜 Don't u think I can dodge u 😜
Me: I think you are far more invested in having me than I am in having you.
Him: Wht do u mean
Me: You have pursued me far more than than I you.
Him: I mean I can manipulate u to get in your pants
Me: 😂 how's that been working for you so far?
Him: I'm not that stupid to tell you when I will start or have started. I guess I shouldn't have told u about fucking elle 😜 May b I shouldn't tell u more abt me 😜 Even when I have a relationship and I feel like fuckinh U 👆
Me: See, you can’t not think of me, even if you claimed to be in love with someone else you’d still be thinking about me. Because you haven’t figured out what it would take to get me.
U.S. women born in the late 1980s experienced more cohabitation and intimate relationship breakups in young adulthood than women born in the1960s and 70s.
www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/31354171
#NICHDImpact #Cohort #Cohabitation #Relationships #SocialTrends #SocialChange
I’m finding middle aged dating so much better than in my younger years. I know who I am now, what I want, what my boundaries are, and I have the confidence to communicate all of this. No need for mind games, just getting on with it and loving it 😍
#relationships #romance
We Are All Potentially Free
“To move forward clinging to the past is like dragging a ball and chain. The prisoner is not the one who has committed a crime, but the one who clings to his crime and lives it over and over. We are all guilty of crime, the great crime of not living life to the full. But we are all potentially fre
https://alexandersmap.com/2023/06/09/we-are-all-potentially-free/
#PersonalGrowth #Learning #Memory #Relationships #HenryMiller #SingleEntryJournaling #SomeLinesADay
New Yorker: My Adventures in Deconstruction https://www.newyorker.com/culture/personal-history/my-adventures-in-deconstruction #NewYorker #Culture/PersonalHistory #EatingDisorders #Relationships #Professors #Breakups #Misogyny #Dating #Love
Set a realistic bar
Try to remember the things you appreciate about your partner when you're feeling frustrated with them. Set a realistic bar. Don't ignore problems, but don't forget to notice the positives.
To feel safe and close to you, your partner needs to know they can get it right with you and that the bar won't #keepGoing higher and higher.
♥️ #Relationships #RelationshipAdvice #Love #Attachment #AttachmentTheory #AttachmentStyle #SecureAttachment
Great Australian Pods Podcast Directory: https://www.greataustralianpods.com/2023/06/real-relationships/ #GreatAusPods #AusPods #Podcast #Podcasts #Australia #Society #Culture #Sexuality #Relationships
Book Review: The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo by Taylor Jenkins Reid
#ReadingCommunity #ReaderCommunity #BookCommunity #BookReview #Books #Book #Review #EvelynHugo #SevenHusbands #LGBTQ #LGBTQIA+ #Relationships #TaylorJenkinsReid #Netflix #Hollywood
#JustinBieber ‘#mad’ at his #dad #JeremyBieber for taking to #Twitter yesterday to share a #bizarre #meme during a #month supposed to be dedicated to #celebrating the #LGBTQ+ #community.
The #picture showed a #rainbowflag with the message: ‘Don't forget to thank a #straight #person this month for your #existence
#Women #Transgender #LGBTQ #LGBTQIA #Entertainment #Music #Pride #PrideMonth #Representation #Culture #Family #Relationships #Hate #Bigotry #Homophobia
'It Would Have Ended in #Murder': For These #ultraOrthodox and #Arab #Lesbians who married men, and remain in the closet, #ComingOut Is not an option.
They describe loneliness, fear of losing their family, and the pressure of meeting their unfulfilled needs. 'The #secrets become stronger and stronger'.
#Women #Lesbians #LGBTQ #LGBTQIA #MiddleEast #Israel #SexualOrientation #Sexuality #Family #Relationships
Clear is vulnerable. It takes bravery.
♥️ #Relationships #RelationshipAdvice #Love #Attachment #AttachmentTheory #AttachmentStyle #SecureAttachment
#Push for #inclusive #parenting #law in #Massachusetts, as #families seeking #assistedreproduction in the state ‘live in fear' of losing their kids.
Massachusetts is the leading state for assisted reproduction in the country, but #legal #experts say the #relationship between those #parents and their #children is not #codified into #law
#Women #Transgender #LGBTQ #LGBTQIA #Massachusetts #Family #Relationships #Surrogacy
https://www.nbcboston.com/news/local/lgbtq-advocates-push-for-massachusetts-parentage-act/3057565/
Pride Month readings!
https://www.amazon.com/Mark-Tedesco/e/B00A504PO2%3Fref=dbs_a_mng_rwt_scns_share
#happy #live #loveyourself #relationship #love #bookstodon #relationshipgoals #couple #relationships #pride #gay #lgbt #lgbtq #loveislove #love #instagay #pridemonth #gaypride #lesbian #queer #gayboy #bisexual #instagood #trans #transgender #gayman #follow #gaylove #like #lgbtqia #instagram #gaymen #dragqueen #rainbow #gaylife #art #photography #lovewins #lgbtpride
Pride Month readings!
https://www.amazon.com/Mark-Tedesco/e/B00A504PO2%3Fref=dbs_a_mng_rwt_scns_share
#happy #live #loveyourself #relationship #love #bookstodon #relationshipgoals #couple #relationships #pride #gay #lgbt #lgbtq #loveislove #love #instagay #pridemonth #gaypride #lesbian #queer #gayboy #bisexual #instagood #trans #transgender #gayman #follow #gaylove #like #lgbtqia #instagram #gaymen #dragqueen #rainbow #gaylife #art #photography #lovewins #lgbtpride
She's Not There by Jennifer Finney Boylan
A story of growing up transgender and in denial, this book is unremarkable in a good way. It's a coming of age story where the protagonist is married with children. This is the kind of book you should read if you're finally feeling up to the task of imagining yourself in the shoes of a transgender person. This is the story of trying to choose a lie for forty years and finally giving up.
#BookReview #Pride #Trans #Gender #Identity #Love #Relationships
We are all a mixture of strengths and weaknesses.
No one has it all and no one lacks it all.
— #ChristopherPeterson
♥️ #Relationships #RelationshipAdvice #Love #Attachment #AttachmentTheory #AttachmentStyle #SecureAttachment
Being a fixer can backfire in your relationships. Research shows that people who try to solve others’ problems often end up feeling frustrated and resentful. Instead of fixing, try listening, empathizing, and supporting your loved ones.
#Fixer #Relationships #Empathy
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/peaceful-parenting/202305/how-to-stop-being-a-fixer
#TheMetalDogArticleList
#Loudwire
See 13 Sets of Rock + Metal Best Friends
Music brought these friends together.
https://loudwire.com/rock-metal-best-friends-best-friends/
#Rock #Metal #Loudwire #Music #Friendship #BestFriends #Bonding #Relationships #Support
#TheMetalDogArticleList
#BLABBERMOUTH
NIGHT RANGER's BRAD GILLIS: Why I've Never Been Married
In a new interview with "The Mistress Carrie Podcast", NIGHT RANGER guitarist Brad Gillis was asked which is harder to keep together: a band or a marriage. The 65-year-old musician responded (as transcribed by BLABBERMOUTH.NET): "Well, you're talking to the wrong guy....
https://blabbermouth.net/news/night-rangers-brad-gillis-why-ive-never-been-married
#NightRangers
#BradGillis
#Single
#Relationships
#Reasoning
#Career
#Lifestyle
#Commitment
#Love
#Lyrics
In this article, we will explore how to navigate the labyrinth of love, unravel it’s complexities and discover how to manifest and experience the beauty of a Love Supreme.
#TheWayofTBL #Love #Relationships #Communication #Consciousness #PersonalDevelopment
#AvoidantPartners in #negativeCycles often lead with defensiveness, counter-blame/attack, and shut down when confronted with complaints. Trying new behaviours can help break #negativeCycles.
♥️ #Relationships #RelationshipAdvice #Love #Attachment #AttachmentTheory #AttachmentStyle #SecureAttachment #AvoidantAttachment
Anyone need to hear this tonight? You’re not alone.
🙋🏻♀️
♥️ #Relationships #RelationshipAdvice #Love #Attachment #AttachmentTheory #AttachmentStyle #SecureAttachment
Self-dialogue
Instead of this:
"I shouldn't be so defensive."
Try this:
"Why does it feel like I need to be defensive right now?"
♥️ #Relationships #RelationshipAdvice #Love #Attachment #AttachmentTheory #AttachmentStyle #SecureAttachment
Happy to have arrived at Schießl-Haus in Kollnburg for an artist residency with the wonderful Mariia Mytrofanova & Zayse.
Currently getting the library sorted for my project focusing on ideals of the broken.
Starting point is the book ‘The Ideal of the Broken’ by the philosopher Alfred Sohn-Rethel, in which he emphasized that the phase in which we start to modify things is the time when technology becomes interesting. He even goes so far as to say that this is where the technology actually starts to work. In his book, he focuses on the technology of the Neapolitans, whom he encounters using a car engine to make coffee or starting their car with a piece of wood. One of the conclusions he draws is that “the essence of Technology [lies] in the functioning of the broken” (Sohn-Rethel, 1990, p.33). Thus the meaning of a device is (also) failure, damage, repair, reuse.
The aim of my residency project is to consider failure as form of resistance to the artefacts' function in the global cycle of production and economic relations. Apparent in obsolete, defective or broken everyday objects and people's stories going along with them, potentially revealing them as emotional and intellectual companions that can preserve memories, sustain relationships and provoking various forms of usage.
#Kaputt #Broken #Artifacts #Objects #TechnologicalObjects #Relationships #Individuation #RelationalOntology #Artistresidency #Kollnburg #Schiesslhaus #BayrischerWald
#AttachmentStyles help us understand fears and behaviours in #elationships.
- #AnxiousAttachment may fear being unheard and cope by being critical.
- #AvoidantAttachment may fear shame and cope by avoiding conflict.
- #DisorganisedAttachment may lack trust and react with conflict or withdrawal.
- #SecureAttachment may still have #relationship #anxiety but trust in repair.
♥️ #Relationships #RelationshipAdvice #Love #Attachment #AttachmentTheory #AttachmentStyle
We are all a mixture of strengths and weaknesses.
No one has it all and no one lacks it all.
— #ChristopherPeterson
♥️ #Relationships #RelationshipAdvice #Love #Attachment #AttachmentTheory #AttachmentStyle #SecureAttachment
When a partner is dysregulated, their #nervousSystem needs to hear #calmingPhrases repeated more than once in order take them in.
♥️ #Relationships #RelationshipAdvice #Love #Attachment #AttachmentTheory #AttachmentStyle #SecureAttachment
What does #Love have to do with gaming❓
This collection of essays explores the meaning and role of love in #VideoGames, describing a number of ways in which love can be expressed in, for and around games.💞
👉 https://thevideogamelibrary.org/book/game-love-essays-on-play-and-affection
#GameStudies #Gaming #VideoGame #Xbox #PlayStation #Nintendo #Book #Books #Bookstodon @bookstodon #GameDev #Relationships #GameDesign #IndieDev
During conflict with your partner, remember:
♥️ #Relationships #RelationshipAdvice #Love #Attachment #AttachmentTheory #AttachmentStyle #SecureAttachment
The Adventures Tales That Made Us Go to War With Each Other.
Black Jesus and Star Wars by @isleifssonhafsteinn
https://thetaoist.online/short-storys-80eec1c30897
#medium #writing @writing #society #lifestyle #relationships
Pretty Impala asked me to remind her to do a task at 4pm.
I turned around and asked Google to remind me. 🤣
Anyhow, the moral of the story is that I like doing useful things for my girl.
The End.
Reason #1005 far less people should be getting #married.
A #secureAttachment between partners doesn't mean they spend all of their time together and only rely on each other for connection.
♥️ #Relationships #RelationshipAdvice #Love #Attachment #AttachmentTheory #AttachmentStyle
Him: I think you do scare them with your high ethical standards and who ever is honest with u on first place won't b even able to get on dating u
Me: I scare them off because I don't want to date someone who thinks it's ok to cheat on their partner? You're probably right. There are no men on the face of the planet who hold that same belief. I should just give up.
Him: I think
Me: So, we're agreed that I'm never dating ever again, than men are shit, and I'm better off staying they hell away from all of them.
~ end of conversation ~
Please! Please, please, please tell me there are decent blokes out there still. Are any of them single?
#dating #relationships #friends #guys #GuyFriends #UnhelpfulDatingAdvice
This is an actual conversation I had with a guy friend regarding why I can’t get a date. Please, I know not all guys think like this, but I really need someone to restore my faith in men. And, no, I would not sleep with, date or be in a relationship with this guy before he said this and now I feel pretty justified.
Him: Honestly sometime u sound so harsh on yourself
Me: Not harsh. Realistic.
Him: Whatever it is, it just sucks
Me: I am smart. I am funny. I am creative. I am good with kids. I love animals. I like sports. I like movies. I like reading. I'm not possessive. I have an averagely attractive face, my boobs are fantastic and I have a cute arse. Is any of that a lie?
Him: Nope
Me: So, it's ok and you believe me when I say all of that but not when I say that I am essentially unable to attract a man who wants a relationship?
1/2
#dating #relationships #friends #guys #GuyFriends #UnhelpfulDatingAdvice
To regain trust after someone repeatedly lies, the brain must be rewired through repeated experiences of truth-telling over time. Trust is a felt experience and can't be forced or earned instantly. It requires creating new experiences through consistent behaviour over time.
♥️ #Relationships #RelationshipAdvice #Love #Attachment #AttachmentTheory #AttachmentStyle #SecureAttachment
⭐ As many as 69% of youth report being targets of TDV (teen dating violence).[1]
A recent article from NIJ (National Institute of Justice) shares some helpful data:
▪️ violent relationships often involve mutual violence;
▪️ TDV is more often a broad pattern of abuse than isolated instances;
▪️ a wide range of risk factors exist across all levels of the social-ecological model (SEM) but most research focuses on the individal level;
▪️ TDV has significant short & long term negative impacts; &
▪️ some TDV programs have been found to be effective.
🌐 https://nij.ojp.gov/topics/articles/five-things-about-teen-dating-violence
[1] https://doi.org/10.1177/0886260514564070
@stopTDV @susanne @publichealth @sociology @psychology @gamingagainstv #DomesticViolence #PublicHealth #Prevention #Relationships #Health
The little things...
...aren't little
♥️ #Relationships #RelationshipAdvice #Love #Attachment #AttachmentTheory #AttachmentStyle #SecureAttachment
Why suicides among young women are rising at the fastest rate ever | The Independent
https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/suicide-women-rates-young-women-b2266064.html
#Suicide
#YoungWomen
#Women
#CampaignAgainstLivingMiserably
#CALM
#MentalHealth
#MH
#MentalHealthServices
#SocialMedia
#Relationships
#Misogyny
#BodyImage
#EatingDisorders
#AttentionSeeking
#Mind
#Abuse
#Samaritans
[Video] The #Struggle for #Trans #Equality in #Pakistan
Trans people in Pakistan often face #rejection from their #families and extreme #poverty. Some of them must resort to #begging to survive and rely on #trans #protection centers for #refuge and #community.
#Women #Transgender #LGBTQ #LGBTQIA #Asia #SouthAsia #Pakistan #Family #Relationships #Hate #Bigotry #Discrimination #Transphobia https://www.dw.com/en/the-struggle-for-trans-equality-in-pakistan/video-65805863
I parted ways with the 45yo sub that I met on #KinkD. I have some reflections on that platform. I found one reason people may spam likes. I had a strange #dream.
#relationships #dating #BDSM #kink #caregiverDom #DDlg #age #spamming #WritersOfMastodon #WritersOfMedium
Instead of: "why didnt you call me back"
Try: "I noticed I never heard back from you earlier and I'm curious about what happened"
♥️ #Relationships #RelationshipAdvice #Love #Attachment #AttachmentTheory #AttachmentStyle #SecureAttachment
Try not to compare your #relationship to other couples.
Try to focus on YOUR goals and growth. You'll be happier :)
♥️ #Relationships #RelationshipAdvice #Love #Attachment #AttachmentTheory #AttachmentStyle #SecureAttachment
If there is no reciprocity, there can be no trust. In your work, at home, in the company or in diplomacy.
Relationships do not have to be egalitarian in essence, but they must be respectful and mutually beneficial. Anything that goes beyond this framework cannot be labeled as diplomatic, civilized or correct.
👉👉Why We Should Ditch Marital Privilege, Eschew Relationship-Status Discrimination, and Embrace Non-marital History👈👈
A World Without Marriage | Psychology Today
https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/living-single/202306/a-world-without-marriage?amp
"If you get a second chance, grab it with the first and second hands. Never let it go till all is done and done well. Second chances come with the last graces!" — Israelmore Ayivor — — — #IsraelmoreAyivor #quote #quotes #secondchance #chance #repair #mend #relationships #issues #problems #resolution
How to #Connect with Others Using the #FiveSenses
https://gretchenrubin.com/articles/connect-using-the-five-senses/
#friendship #relationships
We need a #RightToRepair for #relationships.
3 factors increase the chances of meaningful conversation, in politics and life:
1. Give reasons for your belief. This sets a good foundation and gives better odds of success
2. Be open to learning. Listen well and find the truths in what the other person is saying.
3. Mind your business. You shouldn't interfere in people’s lives, even if you believe they are wrong.
Lessons from Kantian philosophers:
Happy #Saturday to #readers. Yep, we publish on the weekend too!
Not Everyone Is Suitable to Be Your Friend
https://thetaoist.online/not-everyone-is-suitable-to-be-your-friend-a12692b5b1e5
Two weeks left to submit your #abstracts for our #conference on "The #Social #Neuroscience of #Relationships, #Attachment & #Caregiving" (#SNRAC2023) in association with @SoNeAtLab: https://pvrticka.com/soneat-conference-2023/.
Venue: #University of #Essex in #Colchester (#UK)
Dates: August 14-15, 2023
#brain #psychology #trauma, #adversity, #touch, #oxytocin, #genetics, #epigenetics, #allostasis, #coregulation, #psychopathology, #emotion, #pain
@YUNteyondene I will be travelling without my laptop - so no posting until my return 10th June 2023! Love & hugs, Jane #AdultSexEd #sexuality #relationships
Reading selections for Pride Month. Yes, I am the author!
https://www.amazon.com/Mark-Tedesco/e/B00A504PO2%3Fref=dbs_a_mng_rwt_scns_share
#happy #live #loveyourself #relationship #love #relationshipgoals #couple #relationships #pride #gay #lgbt #lgbtq #loveislove #love #instagay #pridemonth #gaypride #lesbian #queer #gayboy #bisexual #instagood #trans #transgender #gayman #follow #gaylove #like #lgbtqia #instagram #gaymen #rainbow #gaylife #art #photography #lovewins #lgbtpride
#bookstodon
😬 my parents just called and they always manage to wind me up. I feel like I’m being overly sensitive but I’ve realised that they often throw out insults as jokes. I’m wearing one of those Buff neckware things over my head to keep dust off as I work on my house and my dad says ‘have you got a pair of underpants on your head’? Fucks me off how they make judgmental sarcastic comments. Makes me really not want to talk to them.
#relationships #parents #family
Sinking Ship by Wild Child.
I bawled my eyes out to this song when my ex-wife told me that she wanted divorce. It is about a doomed relationship.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nr2AfKjQBqI
#MusicVideo #Music #SinkingShip #WildChild #divorce #love #relationships #crying #tears #bawling
Wild Child fell out of my rotation at some point but their Think It Over video is totally hilarious and worth watching:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TQKcPShuHa4
#MusicVideo #Music #WildChild #ThinkItOver #dating #relationships #love
wondering again,
“How did we end up like this?”
The Silent Treatment.
Why #married people have no regrets when they #cheat
https://talker.news/2023/05/30/why-married-people-have-no-regrets-when-they-cheat/
“Sometimes they’ll cheat even if their #relationships are pretty good."
https://www.springer.com/journal/10508/
"I #RolePlayed as a #Kinky Lawyer, and It Was the Hottest #Sex of My Life"
https://www.popsugar.com/love/role-play-lawyer-best-sex-ever-49152232
#relationships #marriage #sexuality
“Good vibes only” is a huge red flag to me because it basically translates to “bypasses emotional labor and hands it off to other people while ignoring the wake of pain caused while trying to constantly maintain an artificial and delusional pretense that light can exist without darkness.” In reality, “good vibes” exist only in contrast the suffering of someone somewhere and refusing to process that suffering is a form of spiritual and moral bypassing.
Great Australian Pods Podcast Directory: https://www.greataustralianpods.com/2023/05/split-happens/ #GreatAusPods #AusPods #Podcast #Australia #Society #Culture #Law #Parenting #Families #Relationships
Being queer in #Africa: #LGBTQIA+ #rights
In recent years, several #African countries decriminalised #samesex #relationships. But they’re not #representative. In fact, #queer rights erode in much of Africa, with #Kenya and #Uganda in the news for harsh #laws and #violence against the #LGBTQ #community. We asked #sociologist #ZethuMatebeni five questions.
#Women #Transgender #LGBTQ #LGBTQIA #Africa #Kenya #Uganda #GayRights
https://theconversation.com/being-queer-in-africa-the-state-of-lgbtiq-rights-across-the-continent-205306
I'm constantly reminded how folks find themselves in accidental #relationships every day.
Folks just stumbling into circumstances and situations.
I used to be one of them.
I'm not now.
"To me a relationship is about loving another human being; their gender is irrelevant."
Gillian Anderson
Happy World Redhead Day 💋
#GillianAnderson #Quote #Relationships #Gender #Love #Redhead #Readheads #WorldRedheadDay
I visited the Museum of Broken Relationships here in Zagreb yesterday, and this item caught my eye.
PLEASE BOOST, when appropriate. Thank you.
Almost every day I write a draft chapter about this "apprenticeship to love" that has been --and remains-- my life. Lots here for men (& women) who are interested in what masculine capacity for love and commitment might look like in the 21st century.
https://www.apprenticeshiptolove.com/subscribe
#writer #writersofmastodon #apprenticeshiptolove #menswork #menshealth #relationships #commitment #sacredsexuality #authenticrelationships #happiness
@koalie
I think many of us have done the same thing.
I did.
“When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.”
~Maya Angelou
https://tinybuddha.com/blog/when-someone-shows-you-who-they-are-believe-them/
Our survey on friendships, sexual and romantic relationships closes soon (5/31)!
If you're 18+ in the US (& especially if you're #asexual / #aromantic / #queer),
my collaborators (Canton Winer at UCI and Hannah Tessler at Yale) and I would love to include your perspective in our study.
Link: tinyurl.com/relationshipsurvey23
#sociology #socialscience #sexuality #lgbtq #aro #ace #relationships #friendship #research #survey @sociology
The train wreck that is my love life continues to derail.
Oh well. Better luck next time.
*sigh*
Which is the most heartbreaking in a relationship?
#Poll #Polls #Relationships
@zoomar the husband of one of my old coworkers used to ask to borrow his friend's car whenever he went on a first date.
You're probably thinking he wanted to drive a better car to impress his date. Actually, it was the opposite. He didn't want anyone dating him because he drove a nice car so he intentionally borrowed his friend's beat-up oldster when meeting someone new.
His date (my coworker) didn't care. They ended up getting married.
Let's say you hear about someone, whose name is Paul or Sophie or Alex or something.
Paul/Sophie/Alex has a romantic partner, and zero good friends. Doesn't socialise at all outside of that romantic relationship, except with work colleagues at work.
What do you think about that?
Love bombing is a form of flirting
- for attention
- for escape
- to satisfy sensorial needs
- to gain access
Stop pathologizing everything. You folks conjure villains because the victim role excuses you of your responsibilities.
https://www.instagram.com/reel/Cri_Ki_AJFJ/?igshid=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==
Enjoyed speaking in a great panel workshop on research impact today. I was asked to speak on engaging with Parliament and influencing policymaking, giving tips and examples from Scotland.
Maybe these two are a bit cheeky or blunt, but policymakers, politicians, press, practitioners will spot these types of things lightning fast. 'Impact' and 'influence' often takes years, founded on good values and good relationships.
#academia #influence #ResearchImpact #relationships #values #policy #ScotPol
Got a little something on your mind? https://medium.com/the-narrative-arc/is-an-emotional-affair-cheating-1319af450a7f #medium #mediumwriters #Mediumcurators #relationships #spring
"Somehow, I have been instrumentalized by the internet, which operates me through my phone. It often feels like the internet is reading my mind."
A beautifully-written piece by #MerrittTierce that traces the not-quite-serendipity of connection through the internet, and shows how the internet mediates our relationships - to each other, and with the internet itself.
https://slate.com/human-interest/2023/04/phone-listening-recording-loneliness-online-dating.html
We can use the lesson of Casino Royale in #Business and #Management by remembering that money now, even substantial amounts, is worthless if we gain it by torching higher or #LongTermGoals. This is the case in both small operations, like #relationships or running a #SmallBusiness, or in large-scale operations, like #Politics / #Election campaigns and running #Corporations.
It's very easy to get tunnel vision over immediate tangibles, but once external costs start to arise, it's very important to step back and ask, "does this serve the actual goals?"
Yes, taking out your immediate anger on a family member or coworker (or James Bond) feels like the thing to do at the time, the stress is driving it, but long-term, you are sacrificing interpersonal relations for the momentary thrill.
Yes, a substantial amount of money you may make or lose seems like it's worth letting down clients/employees (or pissing off your Soviet handlers), but it won't seem that way when you need them later.
"He was in his early forties, married, with the blackest hair I’d ever seen on a white man, dusted with dandruff he was either trying to get rid of or felt no particular way about. As I stood across Eighth Avenue, waiting for the light to change, I wondered if I should hold his gaze until we were close enough to touch." —Kyla Marshell for New Orleans Review https://www.neworleansreview.org/blue-daniel/
The ADHD Effect on Marriage by Melissa Orlov - revelational on the unhealthy dynamics that can occur in #romantic #relationships when one or both people have #ADHD.
The Doors of Perception by Aldous Huxley - Autobiographical #psychedelic experience by a famous author reminds us of the beauty in the natural world and what a "heaven" might be like (not the one I was scared to go to b/c I hated singing ;-))
(The takeaways I make form these books are not necessarily their explicit subject)
3/3
1. Co-Dependence by Anne Wilson Schaef - lays bare the ways that "being a good person" can actually be deeply dysfunctional/problematic. Forces us to reevaluate our motivations and to accept our responsibility in situations.
2. Sex in the Forbidden Zone by Peter Rutter - discusses the psychology of inappropriate relationships in the context of power dynamic differences, but I think provides some great insights on non-platonic relationships generally
2/3
Thanks to urban design and ever-present screens and headphones, we have limited random encounters with strangers, says British artist and writer Andy Field. His new book, "Encounterism: The Neglected Joys of Being in Person," discusses how we can better connect with others — get a dog, and go dancing, it turns out.
In my view anyone who is using the dating platforms should read my series about the predators you can find waiting to screw you.
If you think you know how to spot them, great! But they are always innovating, and there's always more to learn.
I've got two more articles awaiting publications, but the articles already published are here:
https://medium.com/@terminalimpala/list/tis-series-predators-on-the-dating-platforms-9c5d35c5956e
#dating #datingapp #datingadvice #relationships #love #sex #scam #scammers #predators
People who use AI for intimate relationships aren’t extra-lonely or unable to find a traditional boyfriend or girlfriend – and the technology is about to become much more common.
When I say "sorry", practically every time I do now, it's a conscious process and for one of 2 reasons:
1. Because I've broken someone's boundaries
2. Because I feel sympathetic or even empathetic.
I seek to avoid saying "sorry" as a defence, to make myself 'smaller' or as passive aggression.
"Sorry" is a very important word for me.
Thanks for your support! This is my third account on Mastodon. Clearly sexual content is not welcome! So I will only be posting sanitised posts. You will have to look at https://twitter.com/LrnAbtSexuality to see my content. Apologies...
@matyan
@YUNteyondene
@LucyWildboots
@MissPixiePancake
@GreenFire
#relationships #women #research
About 6 wks ago I started talking with a submissive from Fetlife, & we've entered a D/s dynamic where I'm his dominant.
He's quite new to it all, I'm not.
I'm actually a submissive but I service top very well.. I used to work as a pro Domme in Sydney. In the past I've taken dominant roles in D/s dynamics, but never really felt comfortable... bc I really do identify as a submissive, & I'm the happiest and healthiest person I can be when I'm serving in a strict & formalised D/s dynamic.
But this has been fantastic, & I'm enjoying him a lot. Greg has commented numerous times that he's loving seeing me this happy. We're looking at perhaps the 3 of us playing together when Greg comes to visit.
Until a few days ago it had just been online - then two days ago we met in person for a few minutes. He was blindfolded & I didn't speak. I just edged him for a few minutes & left. I did the same again yesterday. Both times he loved it.
Today we played for about an hour. Him naked, restrained & blindfolded, me clothed & playing with him while he was laying on a blanket in the sun. We sat & chatted for a little while after, & I took his blindfold off.. so today he heard my voice & saw me in person for the first time.
This evening I asked how he felt about it all.. if he wanted to keep meeting in person, or roll it back to online play, or shift into just a friendship?
And I think this is one of the nicest compliments I've ever ever received!
Roger Nygard's genius as a documentarian is that he asks deep, profound questions then lets those with skin in the game articulate what that skin is. And we all have skin in the games Roger is asking about.
Want the secrets to why we're here, how to have better relationships and how to be funny? Listen to Roger Nygard. He really does know practically everything!
#podcast #film #movies #cinema #philosophy #startrek #scifi #religion #marriage #relationships #lifehack
From 25 Apr: The Calvinball Model Of Relationships - It’s pretty simple: you make up the rules as you go. https://ideatrash.net/2023/04/the-calvinball-model-of-relationships.html #advice #relationships
Many years ago, I bought a Bird of Paradise at a garden centre. It had lush green leaves and a pefect flower in bloom. I spent the entire summer caring for it, and it was thriving.
I was so proud. It was the first flowering plant I'd managed to keep alive for more than a few months.
One afternoon, someone I had just started dating came over and was browsing my book shelves. He stopped at the plant and...
Thread 👇 1/
#Gardening #Garden #Flowers #BirdOfParadise #Relationships #Dating
In a slightly-related-to-my-last-post thingy:
When I was having post-divorce counselling years ago, my counsellor told me to make up a shopping list of things I desired from a new lover.
I replied that this sounded a bit reductive but did it anyway. Inevitably, my first list was basically my ex, detailed on paper.
She kept checking and later, I added qualities my ex didn't have. Then I saw the purpose of the list.
She was a crafty one!
An excellent video from HowToADHD about #relationships and meeting each other's #needs, especially when #ADHD or #Autism is a part of the relationship
Really want everyone to see this 💛
One of my favourite #RecoveryInc #RecoveryInternational meetings is tomorrow 11 am Eastern/Ohio time. I'm as likely to sleep through it as join it, but when I do join, I am always glad I did.
RI has helped with my #anxiety , stomach aches, #relationships , ability to cope, & general level of happiness.
You don't have to contact Cathy before joining.
Friday 10AM Central Via Zoom
ID: 86230704761 - Password: Recovery1
Cathy (847) 663-1670
Want to contribute to knowledge about #friendship and #romantic and #sexual #relationships ?
Participate in our #academic #research #survey !
Anyone 18+ in the USA can participate.
We are hoping for responses from all types of people, and particularly want to highlight #asexual #aromantic and #queer perspectives.
#sociology #socialscience #sexuality #gender #aroace #aro #ace #lgbtq @sociology
Before you shack up, square your expectations.
Make sure you are on the same page about what moving in together means for a future together. You should also negotiate household roles and share what you expect from each other’s communication skills.
Advice from experts:
https://theconversation.com/moving-in-with-your-partner-talking-about-these-3-things-first-can-smooth-the-way-according-to-a-couples-therapist-194226
Do you have friends who make all the decisions, and always get their way?
Lessons for all of us, but especially for teens and adolescents:
A thread about #relationships and #divorce
1/9 I met Red on Twitter, maybe three weeks before I left my wife of 20 years. The marriage was dead before it started, but I was too (mentally) ill to do the right thing and walk away before making the big commitments - the mortgage, marriage then kids.
Red was beautiful, intelligent, kind and kinky. She was running a peer to peer support community for a particular group of people.
For me, when I learned I was autistic, it finally all made sense. I'm fitting the pieces together with a VERY late in life diagnosis.
Here's the audio version of an interview that autistic art therapist Jackie Schuld did with me, in her series of interviews with late-identified autistic folks.
#ActuallyAutistic #masking #autism #relationships #perception #knowing #AutisticMind #values #empathy #podcast #writing @actuallyautistic
https://priscillastuckey.substack.com/publish/post/109146969
There is nothing hotter than when your partner can beat you at a video game.
I had fun doing this interview with art therapist Jackie Schuld. She's doing a series with late-identified autistic folks. (For me, VERY late!)
Here, about two years into my autism journey, is my current state of heart & mind.
#autism #ActuallyAutistic #perception #relationships #sensory #spirituality @actuallyautistic
A study showed that people are more likely to forgive their partners if they are humble. However, people are less likely to forgive their partners if they feel their partners are arrogant because arrogant people are not likely to admit their mistakes.
https://theconversation.com/this-trait-could-be-key-to-a-lasting-romance-111722
A survey of 400 people revealed that attraction, family, investment, and intimacy were common reasons for staying in a relationship.
Cheating, emotional distance, and lack of intimacy were the top reasons for leaving.
“We can disagree and still love each other unless your disagreement is rooted in my oppression and denial of my humanity and right to exist.”-James Baldwin. Sometimes you need to remind folks that there are levels and limits.
#SilentSunday #SelfCareSunday #SelfCare #SocialMedia #BlackMastodon #Rest #Reflection #Perspective #RadicalSelfCare #Boundaries #MentalHealth #Connection #HumanRights #Relationships #Humanity #Love #SelfLove #JamesBaldwin
Not a lot is going well in my life right now but my primary partner and I are still head over heels in starry-eyed love with each other after 11 years and two gender transitions and that's pretty rad.
#socialmedia #instagram #love #marriage #relationships #t4t #bi4bi #nd4nd #queerlove #translove #bilove #neurodivergentlove #polyamory
Shared with permission.
They've always known me better than I know myself.
#socialmedia #instagram #love #marriage #relationships #t4t #bi4bi #nd4nd #queerlove #translove #bilove #neurodivergentlove #polyamory
I loved everything about this article. 👏
"In my twenties, this intoxicating feeling of drive, confidence and motivation was something I only really felt when single [...] I believed that my best work, and my glow up, came only after a big love, not during one. Now in my 30s, this way of thinking proves a problem considering I am in a relationship I hope will last the distance."
🔗 I Found My Post-Breakup Glow Up While Still In A Relationship https://www.refinery29.com/en-us/relationship-self-improvement-glow-up
"I know these stories exist because we live them together."
Society tells us that sexual desire inevitably wanes over time. But like so many things society tells us about sex, that’s not true.
https://www.girlonthenet.com/blog/decades-of-sex/ #NSFW #Sex #Relationships
“One person can’t meet all of your needs, sure. But I really want to add this: “it is unhealthy to expect all of your needs to be met by people you’re romantically/sexually involved with.”"
https://girlonthenet.com/blog/argument-for-nonmonogamy/ One from this time last year. #NonMonogamy #Polyamory #Polyam #Monogamy #relationships
From 15 Feb: OK Cupid’s Full-Face Photo Requirements And Bad Assumptions - A confusingly described and unevenly enforced rule at OK Cupid creates problems and solves none. https://ideatrash.net/2023/02/ok-cupids-full-face-photo-requirements-and-bad-assumptions.html #online #privacy #relationships #dating #harassment #ok-cupid
I'm quoted in this #McGrawHill blog post about motivating students, stanning for #PlaceBased and #ProjectBased learning and strong student #relationships. 🧡
Tips from Teachers on Motivating Students to Learn | by McGraw Hill | Inspired Ideas | Feb, 2023 | Medium